My Mother, Just a question.?

Question

My mother and I always have this fight.
She says that she is my mother and I should respect her.
I do! But her respect is beyond something I define as respect.
She always uses the "Im your mother phrase".
But her terms of respect is, I should always respect her no matter what, even if she is being a (you know what), that i should just bite my tongue. Not only that, she doesn't listen to the things she doesn't want to hear, even if its the truth. I say this is childish, coming from a 16 year old. Whom my mother is 50.
I just cannot handle it. She makes me so mad to the point that I want to hit her.
And no she isnt the one in the wrong as well.
I'll keep going on until she cries.
Because I live to a code: If you give me respect, in return I will.
Should I do what she wants me to and just be a pushover about it? Or Fight back?
So, I just wanted to ask you a question and as well let it out, telling someone else (Yahoo!Answers.)

Thanks

I should step down from my pride, I have read the first 5 question so far, so by the time I post this, there will be more. Also I could not live with the fact of having my mother die because of my own intent. The CODE: Was taught by myself. Its something I made up and was living by. But she is my mother and I should just bite my tongue before I regret that fight. Which I do in this case right now.
I do not know how it would feel to be a mother because I am actually a boy. But one day I will be a parent.
Hehehe, people make mistakes. Sometimes sterotypical ones as well.
But ALL of the answers are correct. I should give her the respect she deserves. Thanks. I'll continue to read these answers.
I believe its pride inside me, that has made me go this far, but I should change and yes I'll try the step down for a chance.
Again I say.
Thank you for the answers. They surely slapped the sense into my face.

Some things just for curiousity:
She gives me rides from school to anywhere I want to go.
If I want money to go somewhere she gives it to me.
I have missed more than the required days (5) for higschool and she went in her way to get them all excused. Not only once but many.
She is an awesome mother whom I think is the best out there.
In return:
I am not a drug user, or drink.
I attend a church "The River" and a youth night called "h2o.", my friends are great influences on me and aren't those who get into trouble. I work to get good grades and soon become a Qualified Medical Examiner in Psychology, I am mature and what I have done WAS childish.
I am ashamed of myself.
But thank you, for the advice because neglegence from tthese answers is just plainly stupid.
Again I say Thank You,
And I will have the voters decide which answer, is the best. Because those who spoke the positive or on my "moms" side, I say are the best.

Answer 1

Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR MOM!!!! She says that to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Geeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would go ahead and hit her! You already make her cry. You have the emotional pain down, why not make it physical????

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shut up, Listen to her, and Fly Right! Good God!
I cannot believe you are on here saying that she gets you so mad that you want to "HIT HER"
The MOM thing IS THE MOM THING! Period!.......!!!!!!

Get over it and respect her. Unless she is abusing you, she is your Mother. You will know what it is like some day.

Answer 2

You need to apologize to your mother for treating her the way you have. It doesn't matter who was right in the arguments.

I agree with you that respect is earned but if you both are yelling at each other, who is there to respect? No one.

When you are discussing something, don't raise your voice or don't say anything at all if she is yelling. No fuel for the fire, she can't say much back. Then tell her you want to discuss this, not argue and yell at each other.

You can't always agree on things and many times you have to agree to disagree but while you are a juvenile, your mother has the final say even if you don't agree with what she says all the time and you need to respect her role.

Tell her you will always respect her as your mother but that doesn't mean you will always agree with everything she says. They are two entirely different things but even then, she has the final say.

My mother is gone and I'd give anything if I could take back things I said to her when I was growing up. And when you have had an argument, Never leave or go to bed without saying "I love you". They may be the last words you ever speak to her and you don't want an argument hanging on your heart for the rest of your life.

Wishing you well....

Answer 3

Unfortunately there is no precise manual on how to raise children. Most parents are just trying to do the best they can. Parents are not always right, however, their intentions usually are. You are not perfect either. Just understand that she is trying to protect you from things that you might not even be able to comprehend if she explained it to you. There is plenty more to life than age or intelligence. Sometimes it is just plain old experience, either hers or someone else's, that has taught her what she knows. It is not always easy to explain, because it is sometimes just an intuition (mother's intution), and she may not even know why she has the feelings that she has about the situation. It is not easy trying to keep your child protected, as well as provide the guidance and care they need. Try to give her a break. Just think--she could be one of those moms that just doesn't give a dam*!!!

I promise that you will understand this better when you get older, and have your own children. My daughter just called me the other day laughing, to tell me that she just realized that she sounds just like I did when I was raising her. (And she used to tell me at least once a week that she hated me!!)

Answer 4

Well, my dear, let me tell you what I told my daughter before she was legally an adult and out on her own...She IS your Mother, doesn't make her always right, doesn't make her perfect...but she IS your Mother. Mom's make a lot of sacrafices, hard choices and selfless decisions when it comes to our kids. The respect we deserve is that of an older, experienced, wiser person that also happens to truly love you as our own, willing to do anything for your safety and happiness, hurt when you are hurting and sad when we know your feelings have been crushed. NOBODY else will feel so deeply and honestly as your parent. That is what deserves respect. You will not understand it until you are a Mother yourself and then you'll know it all too well. For now, be friends, talk and communicate with your Mom, agree only if you agree but show respect. Disrespect is such a horrible way to give back to anyone that has your best interest at heart and sees that you are cared for and looked after on a daily basis. Think about it. Don't look at it as a 'good for one, good for the other' kinda thing. We aren't talking about somebody on the street corner or that you meet in the grocery store...we're talking about your Mama. I'm 40 and I adore my Mama. I didn't always appreciate her way of thinking and still don't always agree with her. BUT...I don't disrespect her out of love. I LOVE HER and if you LOVE your Mother, you won't feel good about yourself disrespecting her and you sure as hell won't let anybody else disrespect her, either. That's what makes you a good daughter! We do the best we can, honey. Honestly, we do.

Answer 5

Stay humble. Your mom pays the cost to be the boss. Who taught that code to you? You should respect your mother regardless because she gave you life. When you are a mother you will understand. You are to young to really understand all that your mother does for you. You only have 1 mom and that is for life she just ain't going to go away. Don't give her a hard way to go life is already hard. You can't handle what? Your mom being the boss? Someone has to be the boss that is the structure of a family. Good Luck and love your mother mine is dead and I would love to just hear her voice or even to be able to see her. Think before you speak because you really do love her think about it.

Answer 6

If you live by the code of "if you give me respect, in return I will", then look at it from your mothers perspective. You aren't treating her with respect so why should she treat you with it? Sounds like you have your own double standard.

Seriously though, she is your mother, you owe her your life. Without her, you wouldn't exist. She is not perfect, but neither are you. Maybe you could try treating her with more respect and see if things don't improve.

No one wants their faults pointed out to them every day. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Try to put yourself in your mom's position, or at least to think about things from her perspective. We should all do that, regardless of who we are, try to think about how we would want to be treated, and treat others accordingly.

And no, I'm not a mom so it isn't like I'm on your mom's "side".

Answer 7

As far as the respect thing goes, you have to give respect to earn it as well. This woman is your mother, respect her just for that reason alone. The worst feeling in the world for a parent is to feel inferior to their child. Let her win the battles and step down...

Answer 8

RESPECT, it is not given just so you get it, you need to earn it. Get a job and you will see how quickly your "code" goes out the window, preferably in the service industry. Always treat your mother as if no one in the world loves you as much, because it is true. And if she is 50 she is probably in menopause, so have patience. AND DON"T EVER HIT YOUR MAMA!!

Answer 9

I know, I know, I went through all that myself when I was your age but i'd never argue back, not even under my breath, just agree with her, it'll probably flip her out coming from you, and just walk away from before you say something you'll regret. Never argue with her till she cries, that's just wrong. Simply walk away. Mom's have their own reasons why they do what they do and/or say, so don't try to make sense of it.
What if you cause her to have a heart attack from stress? you'd have to live with that. Think about it.

Answer 10

I tought that was a poem!

But truth is you should ALWAYS respect her. And when you get frustrated with her, let yourself time to calm down, and you will be glad you didn't burst out yelling at her.