How could a guy do this to someone who he once cared for so much?

Question

I am 16 and my ex now 18. When we met, I was 15 him 17. We fell in love, I was the one who took his virginity. LIfe at the time was amazing. So young and in love, about 5 months into our relationship we began to talk about children. He wanted to have our first child together. The thought started to sound good in my head, I felt at the time we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Well It happend. I got pregnant. I am now 7 months pregnant, and he left me when i was 5 months pregnant with the child that he wanted. 2 days after he ended our 10 month relationship, he had sex with another girl. This girl was 20 years old, and i know they had sex more than once. It killed me. I just kept making excuses like, he felt trapped, wants to know what another girl is like. He partys everynight and now has a new gf! We havnt even been broken up for 2 months. Im so hurt. I dont know what happend to the boy I once knew. How he could do this to me. Im so hurt and cry everynight. WHY? :(

Answer 1

Ah yes, I have been where you're at. First of all, I don't think you need me to tell you this, but I'll say it anyway because it applies to my advice to you. You are too young to be having a child. You are still a child. Although your ex bf is 18, technically an adult, he is STILL to young as well to be fathering any children at this point. And why in your teenage years would you two be thinking of kids at all? You two haven't even begun to live! Don't be so shocked that he did this to you. He is very young and do you think it's really fun for him to sit around on weekends with you while you're pregnant? He's a young man and with you being his first girl to sleep with, of course he's gonna wonder what other women are like. Seriously, what did you expect from him being so young?

You know why I'm telling you all this? Because I was YOU 15 years ago. I got pregnant my junior year in high school and my bf (at the time) dumped me off n' on throughout my pregnancy. It was a very lonely time for me and definitely not a highlight of my life. I was fortunate to have a loving and supportive family to help me through the rough times. While he was out there with his high school football friends and at parties, being with different girls, there I was at home, alone, sulking, and crying.

I will give you the advice I wish I would have taken. You need to realize you will not be pregnant forever. Let him go. If he was meant for you he would still be with you. Don't cry anymore over this guy. It's clear that he doesn't care about you or much about this pregnancy right now. He may want to come back around once this baby is born, it's his child why wouldn't he? Even if he does, ignore the bastard. He isn't ready to be a father. A REAL MAN would stick by his pregnant girlfriend and be with her to rub her tummy and her feet and feed her whatever her little heart desires. This should be a very happy time, or as happy a time as a teenage mother could have. Really think about this baby too. Are you ready to be a mother? It's a very big commitment. I had mine when I was 17, and although I wouldn't change it for the world, it changed my life drastically. Your youth will be taken and life isn't going to be about your wants and needs anymore. So be ready to make sacrifices and be strong. More importantly right now take care of YOU and that little person inside you. Forget that guy. People will see what he's doing to you and to his child. Karma is a patient b*tch.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Well you shouldnt have let him get you pregnant in the first place. Just because you spoke of children didnt mean he wanted them right now. But you shouldnt even want him especially for your child. A man like that isnt a good father and dont make excuses for him because it makes it worse for yourself thinking you did something wrong when you didnt. Just start a new life without him you cant force him to be a father and he probably wouldnt be a good one You can do much better. Dont waste your time or your tears on him. You'll get over it eventually im sure it hurts you but after a while u might not even care

Answer 3

Live and learn. Both you and he were too young to be making babies. Now you are stuck. Although I know that you love your baby, life will be tough if you don't have friends and family to help you.

By the way, ten months is not a long term relationship. Next time wait a couple of years before having anymore children.

You were definitely right. He felt trapped, and I'll bet that you feel that way too now.

Good Luck with your life. Try to improve on the situation. Get yourself a good education, and develop a career, so that you will never have to depend on anyone again.

Answer 4

You're a very silly girl to go and get yourself pregnant at 16.
I did the exact same thing, got pregnant (accidently) to a guy who I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. I was alone by the time my son was 3 weeks old. Your ex was probably just telling you what he thought you wanted to hear at the time, but the reality of being a parent is really scary to him.
I don't think that he will be back.
But you will be fine, be a good mum and you will see immense joy come from it. My son is now 5 and going to school, it's insane to see him grow up, and I met a guy who actually did love me and we have just had a daughter together. Your ex hurt you sure, but seriously better now than later.

Answer 5

Life is tough and when we make bad decisions we need to learn from them. This was definitely a bad decision on both your parts. First of all, how can you think of bringing a child into this world when you are still a child. Having a boyfriend, and having sex doesn't make you an adult. At this point You need to be able to take care of yourself and support yourself before you can take care of someone else especially a baby. You weren't thinking of the well being of this baby. You were only thinking of the feelings and emotions that comes before having sex. Guys take advantage of girls who can just jump in the sack. Half the time that's all they look for is a piece of *ss. Sorry for you girl. But looks like you had to grow up a little sooner than you had too. Pick yourself up and move on. Don't dwell on him and hope that he comes back, cuz if he used you, trust me you wont be the first one he'll do it too. There are other guys looking for ready made families. Best of luck to you and your baby!

Answer 6

That's the problem......HE'S STILL A BOY! and you are still a GIRL. You made a grown up decision that neither one of you were mature enough to make. US GROWN *** women have a hard time with grown *** MEN and yet little girls (like u) think that they can handle being in a relationship. It's hard work and requires commitment that a young boy cant yet appreciate! Recognize the mistakes you've made and learn from them or else you will find yourself in yet ANOTHER situation like this one. Next time, take the time to get to know the person better. I know 10 months seems like an eternity, but it really isnt. He's young and right now he doesnt know better, so he wont DO better. Understand? You cant change him...and you'll only do yourself a disservice if you allow him to overwhelm your thoughts. Try to move on, there's nothing in this for you anymore. He's lost his virginity to you and assuredly, he's grateful for your contribution to his manhood. He turned out to be a jerk! X to the next baby! Good LUCK to you! Be strong girl! For you and your baby! Concentrate on healing!

Answer 7

Because he's a guy. This is a lesson learned isn't it? Women these days, you should know yourself but then again you were young. I was in the same position as you, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat things but I wasn't foolish enough to let him impregnate me. However, I was crying and hurting everyday till I couldn't breathe thinking how he used to be a caring person but turned into a careless person. But one day I thought, why am I wasting my tears over a bastard? I know karma's a bitc* and he'll get what he deserve while I'm gonna be with someone who will make him look like crap. So that's what you should do. Pray to God and ask for your dream man and always have faith and think of how amazing it'll be when you find the one who will care for you not for temporary but for forever.

Answer 8

He was too immature to handle it all. Honestly, most people your age haven't even had a serious relationship yet, let alone children. You guys made a huge decision when neither of you were really ready to handle the consequences.

Answer 9

a guy will say anything you want to hear to get in your pants including they want a baby, then if you get pregnant they run like hell and leave you to deal with it alone, it suxs but that's the way it is, i know others who have went Thur the same thing!

Answer 10

sorry to say, but you are so stupid! your still very young...it was only lust,not love...of course he's going to find another girl...you two are both very young still and now you got yourself in a huge mess...you just ruined your life! talk to your parents, maybe they can put some sense into you...