Will a 30 yr old man change his ways?

Question

If he has a personality of being argumentative, moody and irritable? He says thats who he is and it ended our relationship. He said that I should know how to work with him. He wasn't like this in the beginning but it all came out after a year of dating. Will he change for someone else?

Answer 1

The kind of change you seek in him is not likely to happen - so to speak...

Of course we do change in time, and it is possible for us to become more comfortable or tolerant as we age, the reverse is also possible as well - and there's no way to predict it exactly.

Some people become kind and considerate, while others become angry, belligerent and cantankerous.

Speaking only from my own experience, I find that as I was intemperate in my 30s, I became less so in my 40s, and now, in my 50s, I find my sense of humour allows me to find comical, things that would have driven me up the wall long ago.

But I don't think it was anyone else besides me that I changed for, and it happened slowly, over time.

When I was young, I was certain that I knew everything. But as I grew older, I came to realize that I really knew nothing at all.

And it was only after that moment, that I actually knew anything, for it was then that I knew that I really knew very little.

Answer 2

I know what you mean. It's like you put all the work into showing this man what an a** he is and when he relizes it and looses you the next woman will reap all the benefits. I think a 30 year old man can be changed but it has to be done phychologically. You have to use behavior shaping techniques as you would with a dog or a kid. Ignore the bad behavior. That means don't even waste time and energy letting him know how upset you are about how he's acting. If you learn to control your reactions to his behavior, then you will gain control over the entire situation. And reward the good behavior. Two good books that might interest you: Nasty Men by Jay Carter and The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. I somewhat agree with the others that that the only person you can change is you but with careful thought and calculated actions, I believe you can turn your toad into a prince!

Answer 3

a person changes only if they themselves want to change...
often a woman things she can change a man.. or visa versa.. the truth is.. to accept a person as they are...

so it doesn't matter if someone is 30 or 15 or 95

sometimes a person appears to change depending
on the influences, or the compatibility of the person
he/she is with.

being argumentative, moody and irritable can be
signs that the compatibility between two people
is not there, yet another viewpoint might be
there's stresss in a person's life.. lack of sex,
money, family, jealousy, or even a health
problem.

Changing for someone else? Probably not
but never say never... miracles do happen
but usually only if that person makes the
effort and wants to change.

Good Luck

Answer 4

People will only change for themselves. If he tries to change for someone else (like you) then the change will not be permanent.

Who knows if he will grow out of being moody and argumentative? You cannot count on it. If you are going to stay with him, you should be prepared for the worst, I think; so ask yourself if you can stand him for the next thirty years or so if he never does change. If the answer is no, then I would recommend that you find someone else.

Answer 5

Usually when we meet someone they don't act their true selves. They will act how they think others want to see them then eventually over time, the true person comes out. The fact is, when most people hook up they fail to put out what they want, expect, and need. Next thing you know, down the road, they freak out because the other person becomes different from the idea they were first thought to be. But any a%#HOLE can change if they try hard enough!......the key is to take a good hard look at where someones coming from before jumping in?

Answer 6

In the beginning chances are yes. But just like for you the real him will come out. Guys are so willing to do what ever it takes in the beginning. Maybe after hearing the same reason for being left over and over this may change. But it is nothing to count on.

Answer 7

God you sound like me a year ago and a year ago before that ....

this guy SUCKS. hes full of crap. dump him and try and get to know yourself again.

dont settle for men who dont treat you at least as well as you would treat yourself if you were someone else!!!!

it will only get worse.

momma used to tell me the very beginning is the very best it ever will be. it all goes down from there. all the more reason to find someone who is unbelievable so when it goes down - its just lukewarm - but never bad.

also remember - insight does not equal behavioral change. just cause he can see it and say , yeah, i suck, doesnt mean he can actually make anything happen differently.

he probably needs therapy - there are issues under all of that - and they aren't yours to solve.

Answer 8

Be glad he is gone. Hell no he is not going to change. People who act one way to suck you in, and then show there true colors later on in the game have a serious problem! You basically fell for the person he acted like he was and he is really someone else. Be glad, move on, and find happiness!! Don't fall for the ideal of a relationship, love yourself and move on.

Answer 9

If he wasn't like this in the beginning, something changed him. Maybe you two just weren't right for each other. He might find the next one and be very sweet, but I doubt it. It shouldn't be your problem to work with him either. No one would want to be around someone like that. Stay clear and be glad you got out.

Answer 10

Sounds like he's throwing his apparant anger issue off on you by saying, "You should know how to work with me."

Always easier for someone else to say it- but it's probably best that it's over.

He won't change unless he wants to change. I agree with whoever said that first.

I'm surprised it took a full year for that to come out, though.