If you're a PTSD survivor, how do you deal with dissociating?

Question

I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse which turned into years of severe PTSD. Now I've been in EMDR sessions for about two months. I follow a holistic diet/lifestyle and have no real contact w/my family (I'm too "handicapped" for them to deal with).

I went to San Francisco for a week for job interviews/checking out the area. Didn't land the new job and there's no PTSD support group (yes I tried lots of sources. But nothing). And the toughest part of being there? Walking down the street on a beautiful day and some trigger (a sound, tune, a color, etc.) sets off flashbacks or dissociating. I try all the tricks I can to stay grounded. But many times it doesn't work. Which makes me think, how do I cope with this? What will people think? In the past dissociating was so bad I literally couldn't walk 50 yards down the street without ducking into some alley to try and focus again. And I don't want to live my life like that anymore. Any suggestions on how to cope better? Thanks.

Answer 1

For me, if I just lace my fingers together it goes a long way to calm me down, and I'm not sure why. A lot of times if I'm walking down the street or something I'll just hold my hands behind my head and no one really notices. See if there's something like that you can do, a small action that isn't much noticed by other people. I'm also not very indipendant, living with my parents and such, so I went and bought a cheap bracelet. It's a way of reminding myself that I still have control and that no matter what other people do, I can still act on my own. It's also become a way of defining myself and reassuring myself of my own individuality. That's what I do, anyway, hope it helps.

Answer 2

So, somehow, you're better than you were in the past. That's good. Stop worrying about what people think - that just adds to your stress. You might try writing down what triggers you, and then becoming clear about how the present trigger is different from what it represented in the past. A lot of the healing from PTSD and dissociation is learning to stay present. You might benefit from taking yoga and meditation. It can also be helpful to systematically write out the things that happened to you and what you did to survive. Make yourself the hero of your own story - take note of the strengths and the intelligence it took to stay alive and begin to heal.
I've worked with severe trauma survivors for over 20 years and I know healing is possible. What you can gain from all this awfulness is an appreciation for the fragility of life and the beauty of kindness and connection.

Answer 3

I, too am a dissociator, with PTSD.
I don't know that I have any special "tricks" to stay grounded.
My psychologist taught me to go through each of my senses and identify something present in my current environment.

Your recent job-hunting trip was a source of stress to you, raising your stress level - that would also increase your symptoms.

I do find, that as more time passes, the more my problems shrink. Two friends who have seen me often over the past 6 yrs. have both told me that I am no longer "disabled" in their view of how I deal with life. Over all my improvement has had much to do with maintaining a low-stress environment & not working outside the home very much. Family members in the house have been supportive toward my healing and low-stress environment. With time, my memory is improving and my physical/mental functioning is more dependable.
Only when my stress is high do excessive symptoms re-appear.

I found much relief by a combination of anti-depressant and an anti-psychotic meds taken on a daily basis. My symptoms are greatly minimized. My psychiatrist worked with me over a number of years before we found the "winning combination" that helped me to silence the hallucinations and help me to not falsely believe people were "out to get me" I find it takes much less effort and energy to not have to try to determine what is true and what I perceive is really false. My family constantly checks with me to make sure I don't skip a dose of my meds - they are convinced this combination is giving me my life back, bit by bit, day by day.

I have heard of positive results for a person much like you, needing to live alone in a low-stress environment. The therapist got this person connected with a fully trained guide/companion dog. Going out and about still has its challanges, but it goes much better with the trusted "companion". The therapist was also able to get this person into an all adult - "no pets" apartment/condo, waving the rules for this "working dog".

A single EMDR session returned much of my lost functioning almost immediately. It was that successful. I hadn't dreamed in 15yrs. (since the time of the trauma) Now I do.

I sincerely hope you will find what will work for you.

My understanding of the dissociation is that it is connected more with Dissociative Identity Disorder than it is with PTSD.

Answer 4

Yes, I have suffered with PTSD under many different circumstances, from my father having nervous break downs when I was just a toddler, (around1957),to finding myself on a psych 6 years after his death(he died in 1986 I ended up in the psych ward in 1992) (actually starting my grieving process ). This syndrome can happen over many things. From child abuse, to grieving the loss of a very close loved one, to dealing with events in your everyday life! Not everything is going to stop because of your problem. When you feel this way, you stop! Take the time that you need, or feel that you need to cope! I usually go for drives in my car, with good music on, and go to places that remove me from things that remind me of past events! As you grow stronger, you will be able to go on and on without thinking or dwelling on things that have caused you to feel the way you have in the past! Think of it as something special that only you know about, a special secret that you cannot tell anyone else!
Talking to other people is not always the answer. I find that when I am alone, listening to music, driving, just lying on a blanket in the park, starring at the clouds and trying to figure out what shapes they are forming, allows my mind to drift away from the memories, the happenings in my past! If I hear something that makes me think about back then, I now can transfer that something into something totally different, something new! The brain is very intelligent, but your perception of things can sometimes fool your brain! I works for me, I hope it will work for you too!
Good luck to you in the future! When you are dealing with something negative, turn it into a positive by fooling your brain into thinking it is something about someone else, or a different situation, or way of seeing it as something else completely.
Writing poetry helps also. It gets your feelings out. Carry a notebook with you, when you get these feelings, write it down as if you are writing a story about something happening to someone else! Who know! You may end up with a best seller!Send me a copy if you do!
Have faith in yourself and your abilities. The occurances you have had are in the past, leave them there! Use them to create a wonderful new future for you (and entirely different person) not that someone else that all those things happened to.
Good luck to you in your own new future, not that other person's from before!