I'm a 26 year old indian male. I live in an suburban area with predominantly white american population. In the past year, I've started to notice that kids (from toddlers to roughly 6-7 yr olds) in public places (like the mall, department stores, grocery stores, restaurants) like to get my attention and smile at me. They are usually with their parents. I'm not sure how to respond.
I've smiled and waved back only to get mean looks back from their parents. Am I doing something wrong? I'm just trying to be friendly in return.
2007-05-21 15:35:36 · 15 answers · asked by DJR 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I can understand the situation it puts you in. Its not a nice one to be in, where the child sees you as another person, while the parent thinks you are a pedophile just for catching the attention of their child. Its a very sad state for a country to be in.
My personal feelings are just smile back, but (this is going to sound silly, and frankly it is!) make sure it looks like a friendly smile (told you it would seem silly!)
Perhaps if everyone felt they could at least smile back at a kid then we wouldn't be in the state we are in. Just remember, the child doesn't think of you as anything but a friendly face. Give the child what it wants, a smile.
2007-05-21 15:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by mr_scary_wasp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In American society the general public is mostly untrusting and afraid of people unknown to them. Media hype and it's fixation on negative social disturbances are a pimary source of this fear. Because of this mindset, returning any form of casual or slightly playful greetings with youngsters is an invitation for scorn and distain. The parent has allowed social misperceptions to thwart child development.
Of course not all situations are identical. A quick read on the parents general presance is the most appropriate gauge for response. Obviously we are not all the same. I have lived in foreign cultures for an extended time only to return to America and feel disgust at the treatment, education, and training of children. In America the process of making people less human begins at an early age.
2007-05-21 16:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately in this day and age parents have to be more cautious with strangers. It's a sad fact, but there are a lot of people out there who will harm a child and so every stranger tends to get lumped into that catagory. How people react will depend on the area you live in and the types of trouble relating to children in the area.
2007-05-21 15:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by whitecat_1975 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is socially acceptable. If no one had any courtesy and offered a smile around then the world would be a very miserable place. Who cares what the parents think of you? It's the children who are the future. We can show them that the world is a bright and friendly place rather than a scary one.
2007-05-21 16:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what the parents think? The kids have a free will of their own and if they have waved & smiled at you, then yes it's definately acceptable to smile back. ..It's natural!
1. These parents should be happy their children are being treated with kindness. Screw their uptight attitude and smile away.... and
2. I think it's rude not to and it teaches the kids hostility if you don't. They are acting out of their innocence by smiling at you in the first place. We don't want them to turn into their parents.
2007-05-21 15:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not doing anything wrong. this is why i love little kids, they haven't really learned how to judge people based on stereotypes. chances are, the child found something comforting or intriguing about your character. being friendly should not be looked upon negatively. next time a parent gives you a dirty look for being friendly, tell them it wouldn't hurt them to be friendly in return and set a good example for their children, of course, i'm sure you will find a much nicer way to put it...ultimately, don't take it personally.
2007-05-21 16:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by vixen0babs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I do it.
But then again I'm a young woman.
And white.
People are strange sometimes, especially in the suburbs. I'd smile or wave back inconspiciously and then turn away and move on immediately without dragging it out.
I mean, don't ignore the kid because of snipe-ish parent.
Then again don't frighten skittish parents, haha.
2007-05-21 15:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very socially acceptable! You are not doing nothing wrong. As long as you don't approach the toddler and touch him/her or start talking to them instead of to the parent. Smile to them always. I do.
One should always carry a smile with them when approaching others. Your smile will bring a smile to almost anyone, even the ones that are feeling gloomy (now how sweeter can that be)...pass it along! Its a sign of loving/liking/caring.
2007-05-21 15:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by ♥~♥devilwithbleudress♥~♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My kids have been known to wave to strangers in public places (I've taught them not to otherwise). I find it endearing when someone takes the time to acknowledge them. However, I must sadly admit, anything beyond a quick gesture in return raises my suspicion, but not enough to be rude or give mean looks. Thank you for giving innocent kids a moment of happiness!!
2007-05-21 16:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by qling 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It always depends on the parents. I don't see why there would be anything wrong with smiling and waving back...I do. But like I said, it depends on the parents. Most don't mind.
2007-05-22 03:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by zachtherack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋