ok.....I take 2 people home from work......it's not out of my way...so I never minded......it's been about 3 months.......at least 2 or 3 times a week........they've never offered gas $.....so one day I suggested they buy me a candy bar if they want a ride.......never got it....then I said how about a dollar.......never got it....then I bought one of them a pack of smokes........never got paid back.......my question is am I being rude if I say no more rides..........(If they would have offered $ in the first place, I wouldn't have taken it......its more the principal)
2007-05-21 14:55:57 · 23 answers · asked by nemofish 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would approach them and ask how much longer they will be needing rides. You could make up an excuse for needing to know (oh I'm considering committing myself to going to the gym straight from work, I need to help a friend going through a hard time right after work, my boyfriend and I are going to start getting together at his house, etc.) if they seem like they need one - but I would ask them straight out in a kind tone and manner exactly how much longer they will be needing rides from work.
The point is to make it seem like you giving them a ride home from work will now become an inconvenience and you want to talk to them about it in advance. If they truly NEED the ride from YOU, then they should be willing to offer something in exchange - especially if it seems like you providing the ride will be more of an inconvenience than it has been in the past. If they truly don't need the ride from you but are using you as a convenience to someone else, they should be able to find an alternative means of getting home. Just say you don't think you'll be able to provide the ride much longer.
If nothing comes out of it for you, then you can end your "free ride home program."
Good luck!
2007-05-21 15:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by krystle579 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-22 03:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always kinda been the nice person to offer people rides and sometimes it gets to the point where i feel taken advantage of. And I have driven people home that were WAY out of my way. But I'll be honest with the current cost of gas I would put your foot down and if they don't like it I'm sorry but your not public transportation. Be friendly and polite and say "Hey, I don't mind giving you a ride home but starting (insert date here) I will no longer be able to do it for free. If you would like a ride home due to the extreme rise in gas I will except (insert dollar amount or something you think is fair) I mean it's over $3.00 a gallon for fuel. And your not there mommy!! They love the fact that they can push you around and continue to get away with it.
I wish you the best of luck. And I hope your able to make it clear to them the car-gravy-train has just made it's last stop.
2007-05-21 15:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by r_me_wyf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if someone offers me a ride it is common courtesy to offer them compensation for their trouble. You are saving them gas money, regardless if it on your way home or not to drop them off.
If it does not bother you, then don't worry about it. However, i do feel they are taking advantage of you at the very least.
I understand the principal of it. You are not trying to "get something" for driving them, but at the same time you do not want to be taken advantage of either.
I would not refuse them rides, but would insist that they help with the gas (and do not buy any more smokes!!). The idea of a car pool should benefit everyone. not just the folks that are getting the rides everyday.
2007-05-21 15:08:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! There are several way to look at it. First of all I think you are right. It is just poor etiquette to receive a favor or service from someone and not try to find a way to reciprocate.
Do you consider the riders friends or just co-workers. I think friends do things for each other without expectation of return because there will be plenty of future opportunities for returned favors. That can be money in the bank. Moving any time soon? :) Particularly if this favor doesn't take you out of your way.
For someone who isn't in the friend category. Do you consider them to be approachable with your concern? This could be a good "friendly" coaching moment. Gently, politely talk about it.
As far as saying, "No more rides." If I felt unappreciated and couldn't talk to the person about it, I would probably find a polite way to say I am unable to take them any longer.
There is no sense in giving them ammunition to tell other co-workers you are being petty (which you are not... but it doesn't mean they won't think so.)
The last thing is that is is always nice to be nice. It is always nice to serve someone... just for the sake of serving.... especially if it doesn't cost you anything to do so.
2007-05-21 15:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by Billiam92407 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should be getting paid 3 times youre gas cost. if it is 3 people then it is only fair. they dont have the insurance or vehicle cost. 3 times what youre gas costs is being fair. and that is for each person. if you are giving 3 people a ride each day 9 times youre gas cost is fair. if they dont like it quit giving them a ride and let them call a taxi which will charge them much more. im not rude but i would just quit picking them up. do you have a contract gauranteeing to give them a ride every day? if not then let them find out about real life.
2007-05-21 15:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will take you home if public transportation is not available. I will not just take you home for convenient. If you are riding more than twice a week that person should know that they should offer gas money. The principal is this: there are no Free rides.
2007-05-21 15:04:17 · answer #7 · answered by I Wanna Know 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next trip, detour past the gas station.
As you pull in to fill the tank, mention that "I did the math recently, and between filling my tank, paying to park, and the oil change the car needs this weekend, I wonder why I drive at all?" "Gosh, I just figured it out, and it costs me $X every single day to drive to work."
This gets the reality to click. You may then say, "with the costs of gas getting so crazy, I really need you (each) to pitch in and pay for a tank of gas once a month. We can swing by here on the way home this week when we get paid, if that works for you." Then, they pay for GAS, not pay YOU. It makes it more neutral, keeps you from collecting a buck each day (or letting them 'forget' or 'promise to pay later').
2007-05-22 03:00:55 · answer #8 · answered by Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You certainly are not rude to tell people that you will no longer be their doormat. Why didn't you insist on the candy bar before they even got in the car? They are taking advantage of you and you can only be taken advantage of if you let them.
2007-05-21 15:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If there is no absolute benefit on your part of taking these two co-workers then yes stop giving them a ride. Depending on your personality, you can say it directly or you can make an excuse that you now have something going on and driving them is now out of the way.
Like you said it is a matter of principle and self-respect on your part.
Good luck
2007-05-21 15:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by drickdj9 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋