Asians standing up for themselves?

Question

dont you hate it when you see any man treat his wife/gf badly and she doesnt do nothing? i see a lot of asian girls get treated like dirt and im sick of it. i remember when i was in middle school, my mom told me how to be a "good" wife and how to treat my husband like a king no matter how he treats me. i think thats straight up bullshit. i think our mothers are teaching us wrong. ever wonder why divorce rate is so low among asian females? there are a lot of reasons but a good one is that they dont stand up for themselves. my question is that do you think itll make a difference if asian women were taught to stand up for themselves instead of treating their husband like a king? i think it would.

Answer 1

My parents are quite americanized compared to most asian parents. They have never told me to treat my husband like a king or any other sort of dignified ruler. They have raised me to be independent and not having to rely on my husband. I think it's wrong as well when girls get taught that the male race is superior to us. We're just as capable of accomplishing anything that the male gender can. Of course, I'm not saying that we have to treat our significant others dirt, but the golden rule "treat others the way you wanted to be treated" would apply. My cousin once told me, treat him like a prince and he'll treat you like a princess or vice versa. I think in a good relationship, you have to treat each other with love and kindness. It shouldn't be just a one-way traffic.

Answer 2

Are you serious? I saw a lot of asian girls especially who are born here act like such a slu*, even worse than the other slu*s sometimes too. I mean there are the good one, maybe that's why they're being taught to be a good wife, because when they don't, they become rebellious. I never look at race as things like that but I see them all the same, when they are slutty, they are slutty, and the fact that I see all races are like that, then your theory is wrong. A lot of my friends would make rude comments towards asian girls, like "why is she slutty?" and the other would say "because she's asian". I would just be disgusted about what they say, but that should tell you that now that's what they are labelled as and if they were such "goody" two shoes, I don't think I would have heard that from people. I think to me race doesn't have to do with anything because my best friend is an american girl and she's one of the most polite people and treats her bf really good and an asian girl friend and she goes and flirts with everyone.... So yeah, I don't know where you get this from but I don't think it applies to them these days anymore. And I think your mom's intention is right, and beside if you have a husband, she would want him to be a good man wouldn't she? And if he is, then he wouldn't treat you like crap and you would always have to treat him good.

Answer 3

It saddens me to see any girl to take this kind of treatment. I have heard that Asian girls are taught this way, but I had hard time believing it.
All girls were taught like this around the world, in one form or another. Same thing for Russian girls, too. There is actually an old russian manuscript that teaches it. It changes when women can have good enough income on their own. I mean, it's OK to be a housewife with a good loving husband, but it's a problem when housewife is your only option. Don't worry, it will change.

Answer 4

Of course it would make a difference. I'm assuming you are referring to the Asian woman in a "western" community in general, though?

I'm an Asian female living in Asia and considered "modern" by most perceptions since I hardly adhere to traditional customs or mindsets from my parent's generation. Hence, if my mom told me what yours told you, I personally wouldn't stand for it, especially if my boyfriend or husband weren't pulling his weight in the relationship, or even worse, abusing me. I read agony columns about the same predicament and wonder why these women don't get a hold of their lives and move on already. Youthful idealism? I'll find out in time.

In macro perspective, I'm not entirely sure why this notion of total submission is more prominent in Asian cultures but it does and we have to accept its existence. However, I think most of us realize women, irregardless of their race or religion, are becoming more independent today through formal and further education and calling more shots, and it's encouraging to see that. We have to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, though. Perhaps in 20 or 30 years time, it'll be an even newer ball game out there and we'd be the "prudes" of our mother's generation.

As to divorce rates, I don't believe a high divorce rate is a sole reflection of independence, but that again, is merely my opinion. I know a lot of highly educated women who remain happily married to their husbands for many years (then again, their husbands were real men!) and I'd like to believe they compromised constructively along their married life instead of silently suffering through the years. If I were madly in love with my husband (which I think ought be), I'd definitely treat him like a king, but if the king isn't treating his wife like a queen, then its time to whip out the 'heart-to-heart' cards first instead of the divorce papers.

Still, I only hope more women learn to be aware of their personal rights and not allow themselves to be mistreated in their search for love and security. You sound like a strong minded person, so I'd like to believe you and I are positive products of that education. Good luck with life there :)

Answer 5

I dated a asian and it didnt work out, but she treatedme good until she left me from someone else. Hmmmm I wonder if her mom teched her that.