what majestic trees
what powerful rivers
what beautiful animals he said to himself.
As he was walking along the riverside he heard a rustling from the bushes, he turned and saw a 7ft grizzly bear charge towards him.He ran as fast as he could up the path, the bear began to chase him, he looked over his shoulder and the bear was closing in, he tripped and fell. the bear was on top of him and it lifted its right paw to strike,at that instance the atheist cried out
"OH MY GOD"
time stopped
the bear froze
the forest was silent, a bright light shone on the man and a voice came from the sky."You deny my existence all these years and teach others i dont exist. am i to count you as a believer."
It would be hypocritical to ask you to count me as a christian but maybe you could make the bear a christian." "very well" said the voice.The light went out, the forest resumed,
the bear bought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke,"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive.
2007-05-21 14:45:33 · 27 answers · asked by St. Mike 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yeah, I've heard this before, and it cracks me up every time!
2007-05-21 14:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I an Atheist would know better than to run from a bear..
If you encounter a bear in the wild your best chance of survival is to back away from the bear slowly.. If a bear is mauling you curl into a ball and cover your head and neck with your arms..
Not sure which surprises me more a talking bear of the drivvle you have coming out of his mouth ...
2007-05-21 21:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yup, funny. But I would likely have been looking for that bear and shot it to make a nice rug out of. Besides, bears (or lions)usually only eat Christians. They find them more tender and submissive than tough nasty and armed old atheists.
2007-05-21 22:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by U-98 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder which god/goddess the Buddhist and/or Hindu called out too. Or what name Wiccans use.
The OT God, or YHWH, only claims to be the only God to Jews. And, considering Sarah, Abraham's wife, laughed at him and he did nothing AND Job's wife is not mentioned by name, nor does the entire book say anything about her reactions, it's obvious to me that 'He' doesn't really pay very much attention to what females do.
If I choose to worship a particular god/goddess, I think I'll depend on one who's a little more involved in my life.
2007-05-21 22:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by strpenta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An atheist would be smart enough not to run from a grizzly in the first place. They can outrun ANYBODY, so your only hope is to curl up in a ball on the ground and wait to either be killed or left alone. Some things really aren't within our control...which is one of the first things you get through your head as an atheist.
2007-05-21 21:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Are you really that close-minded that you think a person is nothing and deprived of all sensory if they don't believe in your god? How amazingly narrow. Most non-christians enjoy the world more than the christians because they aren't hampered with always trying to remember to thank some invisible man - they get to simply absorb and be surrounded by it all. They don't miss the moment because they aren't burdened with worrying over the proper prayer position.
Seriously dumb joke, more so because some think it makes them superior.
2007-05-21 21:52:02 · answer #6 · answered by Edhelosa 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Thats hilarious. Almost like one of those "Fractured Fairy Tales" on Rocky and Bullwinkle.
I live near the woods, and regularly see bears, though we don't have grizzlies around here.
2007-05-21 21:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally am looking for a place to pee. Sometimes the other. I hope I don't see you. You seem like a hillbilly type I would have to shoot. Go live with your bears.
2007-05-21 21:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lame joke.
Btw, this atheist walks though the woods all the time. I live out in the woods. I carry a firearm with me. *grins*
2007-05-21 21:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...heard it before. And very fitting seeing as god fed a bunch of kids to the bear....
2007-05-21 21:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by KS 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This same joke has been posted at least a dozen times here.
Not creative enough to come up with something new?
2007-05-21 21:54:12 · answer #11 · answered by Dark-River 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋