How do you handle incredibly rude and insensitive comments from people?

Question

I am a vegetarian and occassionally people will torment me with statements like, "we'll send the smoke fumes your way or here piggy, piggy." or some other rude comment. I consider this tantamount to telling someone who just miscarried, "oh, well, one less social security payment for me." What is a good response without sinking to their level?

Answer 1

As you say, not sinking to their level is the key.

Ignore all those answers that would have you be rude back; you don't want to be a rude person, like them, besides, it just escalates the rudeness.

Don't let them torment you; they are being jerks. Remind yourself that they are lower than you.

If you absolutely can't ignore them, then smile sweetly and say "THANK you!"

This will either confuse them, or embarrass them. Either way, you win.

I highly recommend the writings of Miss Manners, who has a lot of suggestions about how to make rude people feel bad, while being impeccably polite oneself.

Answer 2

Obviouly, these types won't be responsive to an antagonistic or defensive answer and though some would advise you to ignore them, you know that they will often just turn up the heat even more.

So you'll need to learn the fine art of reversal, but you need to sprinkle it with a lot of humor.

On the "we'lll send the smoke fumes your way" my immediate response would be, "Okay, but after I finish these beans I'm eating, I'll blow it all back........with a bonus for you"

Piggy, piggy, piggy..........okay, guys, but you know what little piggies do, want me to wee wee wee all over you?

Fire off a few good natured lines and see the difference.

Answer 3

Wow, I can't see at all how you can make a comparison between what I would consider teasing of a person's beliefs that they have control over, and a brutal remark against a loss that someone had no control over. You are either trolling or very hardened in your beliefs.

The best response in my opinion, without sinking to their level or allowing any more aggravation on your part would be just to ignore it and distance yourself from such people.

If you feel the need to say something, just tell them that you're offended, and why, and wait for an apology.

Good luck.

Answer 4

if it's really rude tell them "you can thank me for the ozone layer later, dumb a**." and make sure you have your facts to back it up.

"Much man-made methane comes from a surprising low-tech source: “It’s cows burping,” said Elaine Matthews, a methane expert at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies, explaining that cud-chewing animals like cows and sheep, along with other agricultural animals and processes, release enough methane to double the natural concentration in the atmosphere.

Cow digestion accounts for 75 percent of the methane produced by animals. Bacteria in the animals’ multiple stomachs help them to break down their food, but the bacteria also produce methane as they do their work. The animals then belch it into the Earth’s atmosphere.

Attempting to get the most milk or meat from animals, dairy farmers and ranchers commonly feed their cows three or four times the amount necessary for the animals to maintain their weights. Because a cow’s methane production depends on the amount of food they eat, overfeeding increases methane emissions."

Answer 5

Sometimes, it depends on my mood. If I am already in a bad mood, I leave no doubt about how much they have upset me. Most times, I try to ignore rude and insensitive people and wonder if their parents would be surprised at how they turned out or maybe proud of them.

Answer 6

Wow. That's just shocking that people can't just let people be themselves.

Ever read Cyrano de Bergerac? You might take a page from the book, where Cyrano was teased about his large nose - instead of getting angry, he threw it back in their faces by coming up with better insults. You can come up with better insults and then when someone says a rude comment, you say "Is that the best you can do? I would have thought you would say something like....[insert your own insult here]." That will likely shut them up.

For some good pointers, you can rent the movie "Roxanne" with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah - fun 80's movie, based on Cyrano de Bergerac. Steve Martin's lines were awesome! Here's the scene I'm referring to:

C.D. Bales: [challenged to think of twenty jokes better than "Big Nose"] Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He's got...
Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose!
C.D. Bales: Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?
Dean: Fourteen, Chief!
C.D. Bales: Religious: the Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee... in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.
[he pauses, pretending to be stumped, while the crowd urges him on]
C.D. Bales: All right. Dirty: your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?

Bottom line, if you end up besting them with the insults, they have no choice but to shut up. You haven't insulted them, so you're not stooping to their level. You will have risen above it and proven them to be the insensitive idiots they no doubt are.

Answer 7

words can hurt but truly they are just words if you could hear the thoughts of everyone on the planet you would be overwhelmed with lost thoughts i believe people have to realize that word are dictated by emotion when your mad things tend to come out more harsh then when your happy words are only words they only hurt or make you feel better when you let them once again we have laws that say everyone is entitled to there own opinion no one person is the same everyone can say something different and usually will so i suggest listen to what is inside if you want to feel something that hurts or feels good

Answer 8

Handling the situation depends on you understanding what is actually taking place.

There is a difference between people being rude out of hand and disguising rudeness as humor.

Since the goal of your "friends" is to get a response from you, deny them their pleasure and lose them.

Answer 9

Personally when somebody does that to me, I just tend to glare hard at them and make sure I say ABSOLUTELY nothing........for me, that tends to make them respond with an apology within a few seconds. Then usually when I see them again I will usually avoid speaking to them (if at all possible). I guess I am non-confrontational!

But after 48 years of living, I guess I have just come to the conclusion that life is too short to even bother with people like that........

Answer 10

i think you should look at your own behavior before these people say these comments. the only time i've ever said anything mean to a vegan/vegetarian was total strangers that came up to me and harassed me for eating meat and said nasty things to me first.

if you truly didn't do anything to these people first then i would suggest you kindly point out that fact to them and explain that you have chosen this lifestyle for yourself and respect the lifestyles of others though they differ from your own. if they still say stuff just tell htem they are ignorant and walk away.