Need help with grief?

Question

my grandma died about 2 days ago,and i was really really close to her, and like yeah, her and i were really close, we did
EVERYTHING together,she raised me since i was a little kid, and was always there for me,when i went to school,she would walk with me there.. she would play games with me when i was a little kid.. but then i did bad things to her too like make her cry at times..the doctors would always lie to my family (we only had 5 ppl in our family) they would say she had H. Pylori when she had Gastric Cancer.. we tried finding cures for her.. but none of them worked.. she stayed in bed a lot but like yeah,in the end the doctors gave her bad blood and that gave her blood clots in her leg.. it spread to her heart sooner or later,i went to her on the day she died, she was the last person i saw, she tried telling me something but i couldnt hear, she started breathing strangely and i asked the nurse what was happening but she didnt do anything after half an hour she died..

Answer 1

hi,

please accept my condolences.

sounds like you need answers to your grandma's situation berfore dealing with the grief of your lost.

every hospital has someone that takes care of patient's familiy's/friends concerns. You should listen to what the doctor has to say. before jumping into conclusions and getting more upset, you need to gather facts.

did your grandma direct the doctor to tell her family it was h.pylori?

how did the doctors give her bad blood? was it an error caused by the nurses, blood bank, hospital staff, lab? was it because of negligence or an allergic reaction to the blood transfusion. blood transfusions can only be given if the client signs a consent for blood transfusion.

if a patient dies and had a decision of a "dnr (do not resuscitate) order, it would've been signed by her or durable power of attorney for health care representative. this means the hospital staff is to make the person comfortable as possible but instructed not to do cpr or life saving measures.

when i take care of a person that is not doing well and getting worse, i will call the doctor and ask for instructions and ask if he will call the family or should i. if the person dies with a dnr enforced, i will make them comfortable and explain to the friends and family at bedside of our actions. after the person dies, i call the doctor to come in physically to pronounce. this means the doctor has to wrap up what he is doing before coming in.

blood clots in the legs are formed by the body when you don't move around/walk. the blood doesn't flow as well so the clots formed. some people have other diseases that can cause clots.

the doctor will need to sign a death certificate and cause of the death. what did he write? if the clot caused her death, it would be a stroke or embolism.

an autopsy is offered at the time of death, it could be a complete or partial autopsy, was one refused? There should be a paper trail in her chart.

i am not making excuses for anyone, just that it sounds like you need a lot of clarification here and there is legal recourse for negligence. speak to the doctor and hospitals customer service (patient relations representative) asap. make an appointment to speak to your grandmother's doctor and patient relations rep asap!

you also need to look at yourself, are you feeling guilty and angry at yourself? don't direct your anger to the ones you are trying to get info from or they won't be so helpful. you need to forgive yourself too.

again, i'm sorry you need to go through this. once your questions are answered, i suggest you to write a letter to your grandma and write down everything that's on your mind and in your heart. this might be painful but you need to let it out. sometimes your friends and family members may not be at the same level as you so you might end up fighting with them. better to type it all out on your computer, print it out and read it out or hand write everything. if not, you'll never be at peace with yourself.

good luck

Answer 2

I was also close to my grandma dude and I still to this day cry when I think of her..There is not much you can do but let the tears out and cry and cry, I would say that the pain will eventually go away but its been a long long time and I still cry.yep..I miss her. Death is a part of living everything dies. I just try and remember her and try and do things that I know would make her proud of me. And now, you have a guardian Angel..someone to look out for you.And you know I talk to my grandma all the time and it really makes me feel better..I don't care if anyone thinks I am crazy it makes me feel better. I am sorry dude..I know what you feel a intense sorrow a feeling so strong you think you will die.It will get better I promise just be thankful you had the time you had with her be grateful for that..and you know she loves you and is looking down so make her proud..sorry dude.

Answer 3

I know what it is like to be close to your grandma me and mine were it is gonna take a while but it will get better it took me a year and friends calling everynight to check up on me and make sure i did not do anything stupid.

Answer 4

I guess the first thing is don't beat up on your self, we have all done things we're not proud of. The currency of love is time and it sounds like you spent it wisely, that is with her. You were there when it counted. Cherish her memory and live your life like she would want you to.

Answer 5

Your grief is a testimony to how much you loved her. It is like a monument to her. Embrace it. Mourn the loss because she loved you. Do something great with your life because she loved you