This guy and I were in a long distance relationship. The relationship was good till recently he was stressed because of his work and we didn't get to spend much time together due to his busy work schedule. Also he did not tell me on the phone I love you as much as he used to. I felt he had changed so I confronted him. He assured me he loved me still and said it made him sad too that we could not spend much time together. But he did tell me he was a little worried about our future.
Anyway, he was out of touch with me for a week and I tried to call him but he did not answer. I thought he wanted the easy way out by ignoring me so I wrote him an email and told him I let him go as it seemed to me that was what he wanted.
A few days later he contacted me and told me why he was out of touch,but said NOTHING about me wanting a break up like it had never happened.
Was he trying to leave the door open or was that what he really wanted.
I don't know what to do. I still love him.
2007-05-21 12:42:19 · 18 answers · asked by OS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Long distant relationships are hard.
It's hard to know how the other person really feels ESPECIALLY when you are only communicating via email and phone.
Maybe he was explaining because he wanted to end things on good terms? Or maybe he really isn't ready for this relationship to be over.
If you really love him, and you believe that he loves you too, then you should talk to him to see if there is a chance to resolve this.
When my husband and I were in a LDR we had problems...as most couples do in that situation do....and always shortly after having our disagreements, things would be better than ever!!
You'll just have to talk to him and know for sure....or this will be lingering in your mind forever...
GOOD LUCK!!! I hope everything works out for the best for you guys!!!!
2007-05-21 12:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships can only work if there is a certain date set in the future for the lovers to get together for good. If your guy says he loves you yet makes no plans whatsoever in building a future together, it is not really love. When a man loves a woman he brings heaven and hell together to get to be near her, to get to see her, to be able to touch her. This is a man we are talking about, I am not sure how you are taking care of the physical intimacy aspect of the relationship but it is fair to assume that he will get his release with a person he can actually touch. I don't know how old you are, and if you are in college, it's fine to wait and even romantic. However if you are over 30, and there is no potential date for both of you to move in together in the future, or at least live in eachother's vicinity, then you are both using the term love loosely, and you might be confusing it with affection, since there is no passion at play.
Ask yourself, do you want to spend the rest of your days asking for validation of his love every so often when he doesn't return your call?
You can only assume he's leaving the door open if there is a potential date for both of you to live physically together in the future, if not, you should move on, and be happy. Sounds like he already has but doesn't want to break your heart about it.
You deserve passion in your life, don't settle for anything less.
Best of luck to you.
2007-05-21 12:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by ROSE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You and I are in really similar situations at the moment! The whole "work is so hectic" has really distanced us. I am advising you to definitely NOT cut your ties with him, but give him the space he obviously needs. If, down the track nothing has changed, then you can consider ending it. The thing is, he might be so stressed with work that he cant give you any quality time. You have suggested to him that you both let the relationship go and he didn't respond to that so hopefully he doesn't want to break up. If he did want to end it he would have jumped at the chance when you suggested it.
Give it space and time right now. And as the old saying goes, "If you love someone, set them free, and if they come back then it was meant to be"
Good luck.
2007-05-21 12:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately being female we tend to worry unnecessarily about relationship issues where men don't. If prior to this he seemed sincere and let you know that he had other issues that were worrying him, I'd take that at face value and believe him if I were you. Men tend to consider the immediate issues at hand and put on the back burner things that they believe are secure. While you may wonder if he's taking you for granted, that may not be the case. Give it some time. Don't rush or jump to conclusions. If you care for him don't conclude that he is being fake with you. His mind is obviously preoccupied. It doesn't mean that you aren't important to him. Time tells all. Remember the good until you have proof otherwise. Patience is a virtue, and unfortunately, men are better at that than we are. I speak from experience.
2007-05-21 12:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things happen in life that prevent us from seeing or talking to the people that we love. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. You need to be supportive of him right now...he is obviously going through some tough times. Don't jump to conclusions ...most likely when he wants to get out he will let you know..but for now just know that he loves you and probably wants to be with you more, but things are preventing that from happening. You can not have a relationship with someone who is attached to your hip all of the time, but you can have a relationship despite all of the hectic schedules and horrible events that happen in life. Just hang in there and show your support.
2007-05-21 12:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Natty137 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be up front with guys not all like the "read between the lines" thing! If you dont want the relationship anymore then tell him something and find your self someone new that will be there for you. It seems like hes just telling you what you want to hear anyways. Not calling and not answering for just that one week and then all of a sudden getting back with you after you write him to break up. Hes keeping you for when he needs you. Or at least that's what it sounds like to me.
2007-05-21 12:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This exact same thing happened to me and I di just as you did. He is testing you. I made a mistake and I said some dumb things during the non comm via email, dont do that.
I would play it cool and let him chase you alittle, he will take you for granted if you come across needy.
2007-05-21 12:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by boxing_fan_4_wlad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of he became attempting...i think of he did leave the door open. You had a pretend effect and he defined his component of the placement. Now it relatively is as much as the two one in each and every of you to proceed or no longer...sure...the door continues to be extensive open or he does not have afflicted to describe. be cool...
2016-11-04 22:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance is tough. It seems like he wants space, and clarity on how he feels about you. Just give him some time, but keep on how you are, because the needy girlfriend would never work. You want him, but you don't need him!
2007-05-21 12:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS COMMUNICATION.
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT YOU NEED TO HAVE A
SERIOUS TALK WITH HIM AND FIGURE OUT HOW
HE FEELS FOR YOU AND HOW YOU FEEL FOR HIM,
ONCE THAT IS IN THE OPEN YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM
THERE. ALWAYS REMEMEBER NOTHING EVERY
STAYS THE SAME. BUT IF THE BOTH OF YOU REALLY
WANT THIS TO WORK THEN YOU BOTH NEED TO
WORK AT IT... WHAT EVER THE OUTCOME I WISH YOU
THE BEST OF LUCK AND BEST WISHES...................
2007-05-21 12:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋