Does depression make you selfish?

Question

Since returning from overseas i have been on a downward spiral and somehow ended up a person i hate, i was fine for hte first month or so but have now been chopping and changing jobs, obsessing over decisions, thinkning all the time and diagnosed with severe depression, i have been seeing a counsellor for 6 weeks and on anti depressents for 5, however all i have done since returning is talk about what problems i have or what i'm going to do and me me me , which i have never been like and i hate the person that i am now, i'm so quiet and can barely hold a conversation with anyone, im' a little space cadet and now people dont know how to act around me, and i dont blame them for the way i have been lately, its been 6 months and i have been going over the same things.......have other people with depression been horribly self absorbed?

Answer 1

I go through periods very similar to that, if not identical. Like over the winter. Just take some time to yourself, and get comfortable with who you are. Stop thinking about what other people are thinking, because it only makes it worse. And you don't have to tell everyone your problems, or what you think your problem is, becasue only you know what it really is, and you are the only one that can help yourself,. But yes when I get like that, all i think about is me me me, and it makes me hate myself more. Good luck, mine took me about three months to get over, and since then, life has been getting better and better, there is always hope. I hope you make it thorugh this soon

Answer 2

You have been in counseling and not moving on with your life that is today and tomorrow and trying to get it back you need to let up on yourself and accept that you have seen some stuff and done some stuff that you would rather not have, but you can not change that and were told to do it and since you had to do it you did it, there may be a valid reason for that or not, but it is done and over now. You need to pick up and say what can I do tomorrow and the next day and there are people all over that you can reach out to and give them some of your assistance and time that will make you feel better too. Just stop when you see someone else that you might think needs a friend and they might appreciate it or might not. Ultimately most people do care that you care about them and they appreciate it, but don't try to control them just be nice.

Answer 3

I'm a husband "recovering" from my lovely wife's post pardum depression. Before we realized what was going on it seemed that she became very self absorbed and non-responsive to the needs of others, but in short order we both realized that it wasn't "selfishness", per se, but just a general lack of desire, so to speak.
I'm just an accountant, not a psychiatrist, so I can't say that it's a typical situation. But that is what it seemed like. There was a considerable focus on what was wrong and out of joint. A considerable focus on not feeling right. A considerable focus on taking care of what she wanted and nothing else for anyone else. And then one day it clicked--this was a depression thing, not a "selfishness" thing.
So, I wouldn't say depression makes you selfish, per se, but it can seem that there is an inordinant focus on what's going wrong, and therefore that downward spiral you mention. We've taken the step of getting post-pardum meds and a little therapy--not just for her, but both of us, because sometimes the healing process isn't just within, but also with others.
But again, I'm an accountant, not a shrink.
Good luck.

Answer 4

depression can do a lot of different things to a person . i'm sure that it may be the cause of the change. talk it over with your counselor and don't stop until you get it worked out.
the anti depressant should have began working after 3 weeks so if you are not noticing a big change it is possible that your medication needs to be changed. good luck

Answer 5

Short answer to your question - yes, depression can make you more self-absorbed and selfish, too. So it is not you, it is the disease. Give it some time with meds - you will get better.

Please realize that if you've spent some significant time abroad (like over 10 months) you are experiencing reverse culture chock. This is very common. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just take it one day at a time.

Answer 6

Yes, depression can make you very selfish and being aware of it is the first step to work on that part of the issue. It will take some time to feel motivated and energetic again.
My husband was in a severe stage of depressio for about a year after our second baby was born. It was really hard for me becuase I did not have anyone to rely on or helping raising my kids. His mood swings were really bad and he had not desire of doing anything, talk to anyone, no even holding his own babies. He started his day playing a computer game and he did not move from there for anything diferent than eating, going to the bathroom and work. He avoided any type of contact with people. Our sexual life was history and our comunication was a nightmare. As you can imagine, all these made me very depressed as well. He stared his therapy and was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. He takes medication and goes to therapy.
We started our therapy together also to help me undergo and understand this in a better way. It is still very hard but I have defenitly seen some improvements. Our therapist suggested to take time to vent the stress and frustations with activities we both enjoy and doing some of those activities alone. It is important to have your alone quiet time when you are not force to be talk to anyone, to be polite, etc... In that way,when you have to be around people, it is not as painful.
It is really hard to deal with depression when you have kids like me (daughter 2 and 1/2 and son 13 months) because I have to take care of them and force myself to be in a good mood for them. They are not responsible for it and don't deserve to be mistreated.
Don't fell ashame about yourself. You are going through a process and it will take time for you to feel comfortable talking to your therapist and being around people again

Answer 7

One of the characteristics of depression is that the person is unable to focus much energy or attention on others.

As it was explained to me, there is only so much energy any one person has to use in a single day. When a person is depressed, so much of their energy is exhausted in trying to "act normal" and to just make it through the day, that they have little left for others.

At 5 weeks on the meds, you should be starting to feel some changes toward the positive. Keep going. Don't worry about how long it's taking you to get back to your norm. The thing to focus on, is that you keep working on regaining your hopefulness and productiveness, resolving your difficulties well. Your life will return to you, in time, and so will your relationships and your ability to reach out to others.

Answer 8

That's not really fair. It's not so much about being selfish. Depression absolutely strips you of so much. Your brain can barely keep you together, who gives a **** about anything else? You are in a struggle to survive. Think about that the next time you feel guilty about being spacy.