2007-05-21 11:38:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I always tell this joke when someone ask for a good one or for what is my favorite. If you have seen me do this already then disregard...If not then enjoy like I always do.
There was a blonde and redhead sitting at the bar having a drink when the 6:00 news came on with footage of a man on top of a highrise threatening to jump....committing suicide.
The redhead says to the blonde, "I bet you $50.00 he jumps." The blonde said, "I bet you he doesnt." The redhead said, "Oh really, then lets make this more interesting, I bet you $100.00 that he does"The blonde thought about it for a few seconds then says, "Your on! I bet you he doesnt!" A minute passed then sure enough the man DOES jump...committing suicide.
The blonde says, "OH MAN!" and starts digging in her purse for the money. The redhead says, "Put your money away. I have a confession to make. I knew he was going to jump. I seen this same footage on the 5:00 news just an hour ago." The blonde said, "Well, I seen it too, but I didnt think he'd be STUPID ENOUGH to do it again!"
2007-05-21 11:57:04 · answer #1 · answered by kiako 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
2007-05-21 19:06:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. This better earn me 10 points. LOL
Theres 2 fags in the shower. The phone starts ringing. The one fag says to the other fag "Im gonna go answer the phone, whatever you do, DONT *** TIL I GET BACK". So he goes out and answers the phone, when he comes back in the bathroom, there is *** all over the ceiling, the floor, the toilet, the sink...So he screams "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO *** TIL I GOT BACK?!!!" The other fag replies " I didnt, I farted"!!
2007-05-21 19:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Bob M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my personal favorite:
Bob's parents have five children:Ay, Be, Ce, De, whats the fifth one?
Bob, since they're his parents!
You can change the name and the pattern if you want.
2007-05-21 18:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by Alan Z. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one day a boy comes home from school and he asks his
mom if he can take a shower with her and she says, " ok but
don't look up or down" so he does look down and he asks, "
mom, what is that??" and she says, " that's my bush" then he
looks up and he asks "mom what are those?" and his mom
says "those are my headlights" so then the next day he asks
his dad if he can take a shower with him and he says " ok
but don't look down" so he does look down he asks his dad "
dad what is that?" and his dad says " that;s my snake" then
he goes to bed with his parents and in the middle of the night
he wakes up and yells " MOM TURN ON YOUR
HEADLIGHTS THERE IS A HUGE SNAKE IN YOUR
BUSH!!!"
2007-05-21 19:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is a girls a**hole like a 9 volt battery?
A: You know its wrong, but you still want to put your tongue on it!
2007-05-23 15:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by carlos g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Johnny, aged seven, came home from school one day.
"How was school today Johnny?" Asks Mum
"Great Mum." He replies "And I found something out today about the boy who sits next to me."
"What's that darling?" She asks with interest.
"Well." Replies Johnny, "He's got a penis like a peanut!"
"What?" Shae asks, shocked. "Do you mean it's small?"
"No," He replies smiling, "It's salty!"
2007-05-21 19:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋