Okay. Here is my predicament. I first met “Ben” about mid-January. I started seeing “Ben” just over a month ago. We are exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, you know? He is 24 and I am 22. Well, I really like him a lot. You could even say that I think I am falling in love with him. He is a wonderful man. Treats me far better then any guy I have ever been with. He is respectful, sweet, and kind. We seem to have a deep connection. That long gaze into each other’s eyes as we lay in bed with each other is intoxicatingly intense, etc.
This last weekend we went on a camping trip with a bunch of friends. We were having an excellent time. The second night there, we were lying in our tent and he dropped a big bomb on me. Something I never in a million years would have seen coming. I know he smoked pot occasionally and even though it is not something I do, I know it is pretty common-place in my age group and area in which I live. He told me he does cocaine. I asked him how often and he said he did it on the weekends. He was really emotional when he told me about it. He cried. Said he wanted my help to stop. That he didn’t want to loose me, but that he had to tell me. He says he has a history of pushing people away, but felt I was different. He said he was scared when we first started seeing each other because he felt himself getting really attached and in the past it is the point in which he runs and hides. He said the questions I ask him about life and things I talk about made him think about things on a deeper level and it scared him. He says he really cares for me and doesn’t want so see me hurt. Said he sees in me what he wants for his life and future. He told me he is glad to have me in his life and to have found me. That I was a strong person and he wanted to know how to obtain that kind of strength.
Anyway, my question is… how do I deal with this? How do I help him or support him? Does his desire to change seem sincere to anyone who has experienced anything similar to a loved on in addiction. I don’t want to just walk away and turn my back on him. He is special and important to me. I want to help him but am at a loss.
2007-05-21 11:06:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well if he asked for help to stop tell him to go to rehab. If he doesnt want to go to rehab break up with him before it causes you more pain. Cocaine is highly addictive and it will only get worse if he doesnt seek profesional help. I understand that you love him. But if he really wants to change he will go to rehab no questions asked.
2007-05-21 11:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you want your boyfriend to change and be the best dad that he can be, here is the thing he has to want to changem especially since there is a baby on the way, you have done great by knowing you had a problem and getting help to correct it, it is going to be up to him to do the same thing. Do however talk to him and let him know how much this means to you and that you want what is best. Since you are aware he is doing cocaine and him knowing that you do moight give him a push. If he knows that you mean business then he will get serious a make a change for the better. Suggest that he go to rehab or somewhere that is local and great for him to seek help, depending on how long he has been on this stuff might determine if he needs more help once he does seek help. So hang in there and hope for the best.
2016-05-19 01:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This young man needs the Lord. The Lord can change the heart and take the addiction away. AA is for alcoholics and drug addicts. Let him learn that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. AA is called Alcoholics Anonymous, but the Lord can do more good than any organization.
Don't get involved with a drug addict, if he doesn't plan to change. They can stay straight 7 years and ruin your life and their's too. My daughter just went through this with her husband. She finally divorced him. He stole her jewelry and pawned it. He ran through their savings. He trashed his truck.
He left her broke with a daughter to feed and take care of. Five years later he is still doing drugs. I'm sorry. The truth about addicts hurts.
2007-05-21 11:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may need Rehab....................because of him crying it sounds like it is a REAL problem and addiction for him!! He probably does it more then just the weekends because normally people who are addicted can't wait until the weekends they have to have it a lot more! I went through this with my last husband and he couldn't stop without going to rehab.....................but it saved his life.
2007-05-21 11:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kellie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY SITUATION IS ALMOST LIKE YOURS. MY BF 0F 8 MONTHS JUST T0LD ME DAT HE STARTED COCAINE 2 WEEKS AGO, HE HAS BEEN D0IN IT EVERYDAY SINCE THEN. D0NT LEAVE HiM, HE NEEDS U RiGHT N0W MORE THEN EVER. GiVE HIM SUPPORT AND TELL HIM THAT IF HE CARES ABOUT U HE WOULD QUITE THE DRUGS
2007-05-22 09:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by TASHIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you'll leave him if he doesn't leaves cocaine...if he loves you he'll leave it cos of you and if he doesn't than you got rid of an idiot..trust me you'll do better without him than with him if cocaine is more important than you..i know it might sound heard and that you like him allot..but Doug addicts never change..i actually tried to change one..but it ain't going' to happen'
2007-05-21 11:17:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋