Oh my gosh honey, I am so sorry! Im getting married this fall and I cant imagine! Honestly, Im very religious and no religion should ever be the reason for parents not coming to your wedding. It seems like they are trying to make your wedding, all about them and what they want. They need to accept you for who you are in your new life. I would tell them that this is a one time thing and your Mom is going to regret not being there for you on your special day and your Dad is going to regret not being able to walk his little girl down the isle. Its not about where you get married, its about where your beliefs are and how strong your faith is. I would tell them how you feel, open up and really try to make them understand. If they cant then I would let them know that you tried and how disappointed you are and I guess thats all you can do.
Im sorry girl....Ill pray for you =)
2007-05-21 11:13:17
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Congratulations on your engagement, and I'm sorry for your closemindedness. All you can do is be warm and inviting and express your disappointment (although not too much). Reaffirm that this is a new beginning in your life and you want your parents to be there as you embark, but their choice will not affect yours. Say so politely. Provide them all accommodation to attend (send an invitation, offer them to be in the ceremony, etc.) but don't be mean about it -- don't talk to them about it every second, or try to convince them to go.
You're mature enough to make your own decisions; apparently your parents aren't mature enough to respect you for yours. I'm sorry you're hurt, but if they realize the love you share, and that it's not worth losing a daughter over the periphery of the ceremony (Catholic, christian, indoor outdoor, live in early, not at all...) they will likely come around later.
(P.S. maybe you should look for a more liberal catholic church... I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but in my community there are a number that I'm sure would host you, without a full mass, even knowing that you two are living together first... It may be at least worth a look, if you'd be willing to have a catholic ceremony.)
2007-05-21 12:02:14
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answer #2
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answered by Perdendosi 7
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Out of respect for your parents why on earth would you go and move in with a guy when you are about to get married, not to much thought there I would say. Apart from that you have made the choices so your parents should respect that even though it does not line up with their beliefs. Staying away does not prove anything only create hurts. You mentioned you spent some time @ the catholic church, i would encourage you to find out about salvation in Jesus Christ both you and your future husband. Your marriage will grow strong if you both love and serve the Lord. You first however must accept Christ as your Lord and Savior.It is not your church, your baptism or your priest that saves you it is only Jesus Christ. I would like to encourage you to read the book of John in the New Testament. Don't let your parents attitude spoil your special day!
2007-05-21 11:24:40
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answer #3
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answered by Steiner 6
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Maybe you could smooth things over by using the pastor from thier church. Then your parents would feel more comfortable with the ceremony and it would fulfill thier religious needs and you still have the wedding you wanted.
But in the end its the parents who lose out. They dont get to be there when you get married something I personally would never miss even if I didnt approve of the person or the ceremony they pick.
2007-05-21 11:05:54
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answer #4
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answered by elaeblue 7
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I'm sorry they are being this way, but really there is nothing you can do about it. you are an adult afterall and have the right to do with your life what you choose. just think, they are the ones missing out on an important moment in your life, and as much as you love them, who really wants someone at their wedding who doesnt support them? my parents werent too excited about my planes when I married. I was 19 and we gave 1 months notice about the wedding. my brother tried to tell my parents to tell me I cant get married and if I do nobody will be there and whatever, but my parents told my brother they had 2 choices...come and support me or miss a very important day in my life. just hope you parents will come to their senses and be there. if they dont, they are ending a relationship with their own child over something so petty. dont let it ruin your day. your starting your family with your fiance now and life goes on past mom and dad.
2007-05-21 11:07:23
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answer #5
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answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7
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talk to them- show them how much you love the guy and tell them all his positive points. i am married to someone of a diferent religion( though I'm not religious) and am lucky his very religious parents accpeted me completely.
My dad died 2 weeks before my brothers wedding never having gone to visit them because they wer 'living in sin' ( he was planning to go to the wedding, but still missed the chance)
Try to make them realise how much their being there means to you, and realise that it is a true act of love to rise above their own feelings and support thier flesh and blood regardless
Edited to say- actually we got married in the catholic church ( my husbands uncle was the preiest) but it wasn't a full catholic mass, but an interdenominational service. Talk to your priest... if my irish catholic highly religious ( MIL went to train as a nun but wanted kids!) can accept that, i hope you can get your parents to see the right thing to do. Good luck
2007-05-21 11:03:10
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I understand you feel hurt because they are your parents and they are supposed to support you no matter what but it's probably just that they are shocked or quite possibly hurt that you have chosen a different path then they would have, but my best suggestion to you would be to keep them involved in the planning of the wedding and make sure they know that they are still welcome to attend and that you know they're upset but you need to make these decisions for yourself now that your going out on your own and hope that they can support you even when they don't agree.
2007-05-21 11:12:35
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answer #7
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answered by Amber A 2
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They may be upset because you move in with your fiance Weeks ahead your wedding, nevertheless, that does not justify their behavior. Do what you have to do, what you have planned. the important here is you present your relationship before God. Remember, even thouyour parents don't go to the wedding, they still love you, and you love them. There will be the time to re-join together.
Let Jesus Christ lead your steps in life and you always will take decisions that will make you proud of yourself.
2007-05-21 11:22:35
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answer #8
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answered by Isaac S 1
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I think you should talk to them and explain politely that it is you and your fiance's wedding, not theirs. He has a right to be married in his church too or anywhere the two of you decide. Ask them to seriously think about what their priorities are and if it is really worth it to them to hurt you so much to the point that you will never forgive them for this, cuz trust me you wont. They need to grow up and realize the wedding is not for the parents it is for the bride and groom. Im sorry, but if my mother did this to me, it would put a permanent rift between our relationship and I would never forgive her for it and would never be able to get completely over it. My mother is against my upcoming marriage because we are of different religions, but she would never pull something like that.
2007-05-21 11:04:55
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Hunni dont worry deep down they will be happy for you. I know how you feel ish as my parents wont be at my wedding in March as my mum passed away when i was 11 years old and my dad abandoned me and is now remarried. All you can do is invite them hunni but just remember its your day not theirs so do what you wanna do whether its against what your parents religion/ beleifs are. Dont worry hun just hold your chin up high and have a wonderful day and when they realise that they have missed their daughters wedding because of them be stupid like that, they would start to feel guilty trust me.
Good luck and congrats on your big day...........
2007-05-21 11:07:36
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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