I moved in with my boyfriend of 4 months and I just found out I am pregnant we are very inlove we have no problems but his daughter (13years old) who live with him 4 days a week told him that she is not coming home until I live. She doesn't know that I am pregnant but she is the only child and we know she is not going to like it. She left and my boyfriend didn't heard from her in 2 weeks finally he called her at her mom and she said "When she leaves our house I am coming home, dad" I feel so bad for my boyfriend what to do now?
2007-05-21 09:32:47 · 46 answers · asked by donatella_millian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're boyfriend needs to have a long talk with his daughter. She is just being a teenage brat that is upset about her daddy having a girlfriend, she'll come around eventually, but he needs to talk to her, because she is his daughter and they need to work through it. However he cannot let a 13-year-old hold his life hostage. He's the parent, he needs to act like one.
2007-05-21 09:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave. you are not married to him and his first obligation is his daughter. Your relationship is not very long and you are already pregnant. I guess neither of you were thinking at all about his daughter or this unborn baby. I don't think his daughter should have to pay for your irresponsible behavior. If you are serious about this relationship, keep your place until the baby is almost due, then move in with him. Tell the daughter and give the poor girl some time to get used to the new developement and spend time with her dad before the new baby comes. You are the adult, you had choices and you chose to get pregnant. His daughter didn't get a say in the matter, but you both should honor her feelings and give her what she needs to help her accept it.
2007-05-21 10:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by NONAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been here before when I was younger, please do not take offense to anything I say. First of all you both did not think of her feelings AT ALL. She has known you for 4 months and now all of a sudden she feels as though you have taken not only her dad but her house as well. Children don't like change that fast and both of you should have asked her permission before moving in with each other. Honestly at this point you need to respect her decision and just let her have time with her dad only. When she starts warming back up to him then you can be in the picture. As far as the pregnancy once again you BOTH didn't think of her feelings and 4 months is a very short time to a 13 yr old girl. I wish you both would have done things differently but now you just have to fix it. Let her know that it is still her house by letting her redecorate and do things that she wants, but you should not intervene. Also tell her she is welcome whenever she wants to come back and that you are not going to force her to come back. I would even recommend you moving out for a few months so she can slowly warm up to you.
2007-05-21 09:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by kerriannsurratt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has to grow up. Obviously, since you a pregnant, there can be no ultimatum. (Those are always a bad idea anyway.) He does not have to choose between you two. You have to respect that he has a daughter, she is in her terrible teens, and she is rebelling. He needs to get control of her. Females around that age always go through an "I hate my mom" phase, it seems, and since you are living with your boyfriend she is taking it out on you instead of her mother.
Anyway, your boyfriend and the girl's mother need to talk to her about this. Especially since you are having her little brother or sister. She is not going to like you for a while, and it's going to be hard. But the two of you have to learn to get along somehow because you are a family now. All it takes is good communication and hard work. Let her know you're not trying to replace her Mom, but that you and her dad love each other and you'd like it if she would try to get along with you.
Good luck.
2007-05-21 09:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four months is pretty soon to move in with a guy, but since you're pregnant with his child it's probably the best thing in the long run. He definitely should have discussed the situation with his daughter before you moved in, and given her some time to adjust before you "invaded" her life. He should talk with his daughter and apologize for springing this change on her and not listening to her input. He also needs to tell her that she has a (half) sibling on the way, and reassure her that his "new" family will not replace her or make her less important to him.
2007-05-21 09:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 13! She has hormones peers, and other bodily changes causing her to be a monster! I know I was one once! What she needs is to face real life, and learn to accept it! You are the parent, take a stand, tell her how it is going to be, that's it, you are not negoating a business deal! It will be very hard, but keep consistent, and always let her know she is loved. Show her some positives, that daddys girlfriend can be her friend, a taxi for her, help with clothes/makeup, someone to confide in (if she confides, keep it confidential, or you've lost her trust forever!), maybe she would like the idea of being a big sister, you might like the idea of a baby sitter, she might like the responsibility/money. Just remember the parents/adults are the boss, she is still a child, and has to respect your choices! Hang in there!
2007-05-21 09:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by smerten 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are nice to her and do not mistreat her. Here is my advice. If you and your boyfriend are two adults in a commited relationship then don't feel bad about what you guys are doing. She is a teenager, that is how they react to things. Your boyfriend needs to spend some one on one time with his daughter and let her know that she is special and that no woman or other child will replace her place in his heart. The problem is the relationship your boyfriend has with his daughter. There maybe some trust issues or undealt with feelings between him and his daughter.
2007-05-21 09:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Junebaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she feel like this about you? Has he been ignoring her since you moved in? I think they might need some "alone time" to work on their relationship so she can feel secure about the fact that he still loves her and that she's important to him. If I were you, I would go out and get them a gift certificate for something special they could do together, maybe a movie she wants to see, or some concert. That would show her that father-daughter time is important to you, and you encourage it.
2007-05-21 09:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel and see what he thinks too about you too...i mean you only have been going out for 4 months right ? Maybe moving in together is too early.
He still should talk to her and tell her you are pregnant and maybe have the girl get to know you somehow with 1 day together somewhere...if she likes you then it's done.
By experience though, kids come first than the other woman.
If you dont gain the kid affection you are never going to be part of the family
I woul
2007-05-21 09:41:47 · answer #9 · answered by evacivati1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but it sounds like your BF's daughter is a spoiled brat. She is also just scared that her daddy might forget about her now that he has you. Your BF needs to explain to his duaghter that he loves her very much, but he is the grown up, not her. And you, you just treat her as a friend would. When it's time for her to be at Dad's house make sure she still has alone time with him, that way she will feel less threatened. And remember that she is a teenager, moodiness and selfishness at it best or worst lol Good luck hun.
2007-05-21 09:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by milknhoney4ever 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋