I hope that everybody will agree with me on this and not the rest of the family.
My 15 y/o daughter asked if her bf could go with us on out trip to Disneyland this summer. She stated that he would be able to cover his own cost for meals and tickets and that since we have 2 rooms at the Disneyland Hotel, it could be my wife, her, and our other daugther in 1 room and me, my son, and him in another room. She further reasons that she knows me well and that the 2 of them will never be out of sight (she is correct on this).
She is a good kid and so is he. It dont think it is a trust issue as much as it is a "being old fashioned" issue.
I thought the wife would back me on saying NO.
She didnt see anything wrong with it.
Brother and sister also said they thought it would be fun.
Does anybody else think this is a bad idea?
2007-05-21 09:12:08 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well speaking as a mom of a teenager I personally would say no. Are you wanting this to be a family vacation? If so then you are totally reasonable. I'm old fashioned too so I also think the man has the last say in the house. Give your reason as you want this to be a family vacation and that's it. Tell them it has nothing to do with trust and that you like him but you need some time with your family and if he's along for the ride her attention will be more on him than on her family. You are wanting her to bond with parents and siblings, she has plenty of time to bond with him at home.
2007-05-21 09:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by fourzenuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daughters Bf
2016-10-29 04:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by mcaleer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is a bad idea. AND NO, you are not being old fashioned. This is probably your very last family vacation with the entire family. Soon enough their will be a son-in-law or even an out of wedlock grand-baby. You need to take one last family vacation - mom & dad in one room (relaxin) with the kids in another. You do not need the 15 year olds drama with her bf to ruin the family time.
Your wife seems to be forgetting about your daughter's reputation. No matter how you arrange the rooms, no matter how good of girl she is, after the trip the bf will be telling his friends how he & her were getting it on. Even if he doesn't say one work it looks bad. At 15 both parents should be actively protecting their daughter's reputation by not putting her into what looks like an adult situation. The brother and sister are still kids - they do not get a vote. Your wife needs to act like mother not the 15 year olds bff.
2007-05-21 09:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by CatLaw 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel family vacations should be just that. A time to be a family. But it seems that you have a wonderfully wholesome and good family . I still would say well this will be one of the last times we have a family vacation with just our family and we hope you will understand. I especially think it will be best if the other brother and sister are younger than the 15 yr old. You are the boss and you are paying so just say this time it will just be us, next time maybe you may have a guest. (15 is young to have a bf and I bet it wont last)
2007-05-21 09:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would veto the boyfriend idea. Family vacations are a time to focus on being together. Even if the boyfriend is a great guy, it's unlikely that they'll be together in the long run. She may not be pleased with your answer now but she'll probably appreciate the bonding time she had with you later on, once she goes away to college. The family relationships will always be important, the boyfriend probably not.
2007-05-21 09:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by sks0982 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter is good enough to lay out rules, it probably means she will stick with them, coming from a teenager. I know where you're coming from, but I would give it a go. As for being old fashioned, its right; a 15 year old probably wouldn't have been allowed to take her boyfriend on vacation in older days. BUT, would many 15 year old kids be going to Disneyland in the 40's or 50's? Probably not. Times are changing, and if you trust your daughter (and keep tabs on their whereabouts, both daily and nightly), it seems like an ok (dare I say fun!) idea. Good luck!
2007-05-21 09:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Caroline O 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I went for a weekend at age 16 (a lifetime ago) with my boyfriend and his parents to their cabin on the lake, both of them were school teachers, so you'd think they'd know what was up, so let me tell you that where there is a will there is a way.
I'm not saying your daughter wants to, but they'd find a way if they did. At age 15 I think it sets a bad precedence.
Good luck. Teenagers are tough. Mine are 21 and 23 now, whoooo!
2007-05-21 09:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is willing to be reasonable with you on this. I would suggest testing this idea out with a smaller outting. Go to a nearby theme park or camping or whatever and see how they act.
Don't tell her this is a test. See if they obey the rules and everything. If they do then take him. If not then you know they will be a problem for the week in Disneyland.
Good luck
2007-05-21 09:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure why not. I was thinking about this kind of thing myself. And I am a very devout Christian and my daughter is also.
But i thought that actually this could be an experiment in what this person is really like, so now you will know them better and so will your family.
2007-05-21 11:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds responsible and it sounds like she knows the rules. Maybe the kid just wants to see Disneyland and likes your family. I understand you're worried about the whole "old-fashioned" thing but realistically, they won't be spending any time alone together or sleeping together. I don't think its either bad or good, just an idea.
PS-It sounds like you're just asking for support here and not actual opinions by saying that you hope everybody will agree with you.
2007-05-21 09:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋