Put Parents Back In Control?

Question

It's time to start taking a stand. I'm afraid to have kids because of the way kids are turning out these days. I've seen a 13 year old girl get in her mothers face with a fist in the air and threaten her...and the mother did nothing! I can't count how many times I've seen little kids completely ignore their parents when they are told to do something. It makes me SICK to watch parents let the children have all the power because they're afraid the government will come after them. It's time to stand up to the government and say, "We want our role as a parent back." I don't want to raise a child and watch him/her disrespect elders/others...including me. I want the respect from children like it used to be...not complete ignorance.
What do you think?

Answer 1

You shouldn't put off having kids because other people are horrific parents. It's really NOT the kids!

The fact that the mother DID NOTHING when her 13-year old got in her face is EXACTLY why the 13-year old felt comfortable getting in her mother's face...The fact that the parents ALLOWED their kids to ignore them is why the kids ignored them.

If YOU don't allow your kids to do stuff like this, then they won't.

My daughter had rules...lots of them! Ignoring us was not an option...and getting in our face would have been simply unacceptable, and she knew this, so she never tried it!

It's really not that hard to just be a parent...trying to be their friend is much more difficult, in all truth. Set rules, and stick to them...if they need an explanation, just let them know that it's your job to make sure they grow up right, and you're working hard to do your job!

Answer 2

Kids are taught if you get a spanking or you get yelled at to call children services I have been threatened that so many times and I'm like ok would you like to read a few stories about kids being murdered by their foster parents atleast I won't kill your a s s If any of my kids thought they were gonna be stupid enough to get up in my face they deserve what's gonna happen next and I'd be proud to go to jail for it but I agree there are kids that need help from those agencies but then there are people like me that work hard and don't want to take crap from kids and I don't want to raise a kid without morals and respect.

Answer 3

One of the problems. Is that our school and some government bodies. Are telling parents not to even yell at their children. I think parents should actually be allowed to take control of their children. Look at the teacher who, when a child decided to run out of the classroom was fired because. He brought the child back. The parents were in an uproar. instead the parents should have disciplined that child.

Answer 4

Bug

Ya know the biggest problem with kids today are their parents. I raise my children with one thing in mind.

Instilled Values.

If you can instill values in them when they are young they will not ever raise a hand, cuss at, direspect you or anyone else.
Most parents today feel as though they have no control over their kids and they really do. The government doesn't come out just take kids for no reason at all. You have to do something really major for them to come in and take your kids away.

I don't believe in hitting my kids at all. I nurture them when needed and punish them when they deserve it. I have a strategy that I use that works and instills everyday values.

I usually work their punishments into what their weaknesses are. My one daughter cannot spell very well when she misbehaves I have a vocabulary list that I make her write how man depends on the offense talking back will get you 50 hitting get's you 100. etc. etc.

Their are many creative ways to instill values in children and punishments don't have to be wasted time. Make them do something for a punishment that will allow them to learn something other then suffering.

The most important thing in a childs life is not what you teach them it's what you ingrane in them. What you ingrane in them is not what they will or will not do, it is something that they will never forget.

Teach them lessons, instill in them good values

Hope that helps

Answer 5

I know how you feel and i agree. Its not the governments place to tell me how to raise my children. I'm not a spanking advocate especially in young children but with some kids it works. There is a line between discipline and abuse. The CPS and other children agencies need to concentrate on the cases of child abuse and ignore the parents trying to raise their children to be responsible, disciplined, compassionate adults. Being a parent is the most important job in the world!

Answer 6

I totally agree with you.

My kids will never disrespect me like that. The key is you have to teach your children respect, disipline and boundaries from the very beginning....you can't just wake up one day and say....ok now they are old enough to learn.

I'm not able to be a stay at home mother, but my day care provider (private...in home...licenced) has the same morals as I do and she's got 3 kids of her own and I've seen how they treat her....respectful.....I choose this setting for my son, because it is the same things we believe in at home, so he's learing from his daycare environment and at home and there's not two different set of rules....very important.

Also, I'll be spanking my children when necessary...I am definately a believe in spanking kind of parent....just a swat on the butt...not a beating, but sometimes it's necessary.

Answer 7

I'm with ya on that one. I have 2 teenagers of my own and my boyfriend has a very troubled, party-hardy, disrespectful, teenage boy. I'm not involved with my boyfriend's son because of some complications with my boyfriend's ex but I am in complete control of raising my children. I was never one to go with what everyone else thought was the "right" way to raise children. What was okay last month suddenly becomes wrong the next month...uh..no, I trust my motherly instinct and do my best to raise my kids and I can honestly say that I am very proud of my kids. They do not talk back to me, they have a lot of love within them, they respect themselves and other people, they are very open with me, they are mostly happy, etc.

Yes, I do think a lot of the parents are afraid to put fear into the kids...not fear like in abusing them but fear of what "mom would say if she found out"... or "mom would never want me to say/do this". I believe in spanking (when they were under 5 y/o), I don't care if I start yelling in public if they are doing something wrong that needs immediate attention, I will talk to their friends and their parents too if I need to, I will bat for my kids if they are having problems at school, at friends', etc.

Most importantly, I WILL NOT LEAVE PARENTING UP TO OTHER ADULTS (like teachers, counselors, neighbors, other family members, babysitters, doctors, etc.). I see so many parents give up their rights to teach their kids morals and values up to other authority figures (especially teachers) and it can confuse the heck out of kids.

Answer 8

If you want that, then you have to make your kids mind and respect you. It's the parents LETTING their kids act like that!!! You won't have to worry about it if you raise your children right! It has nothing to do with the government! It has everything to do with the parents not displining or being involved enough! Not all children act this way, even though in this day and age, it seems like it! It is totally disgusting, all the bratty kids these days!!!

Answer 9

If a parent tries to "take control" after the age of 6 months, it is too late. You establish this by spending time, interacting, getting down on the floor and playing games, giving baths, reading stories, feeding, nursing them through illness, listening to them, laughing with them, setting rules and enforcing them. Children will take as much lee-way as a parent offers. The parents who experience these problems very often put their children in front of video games, t.v. for extended periods of time and then find it hard to get their attention later on. You have to make a conscious effort to guide and shape and be involved in a child's life, not only to avoid confrontations like the ones you describe - but to prepare them for life. You can do it. But you must decide to do it and not to give up when it becomes difficult. They will not be infants for very long at all.

Answer 10

Its all within the way you choose to raise your child. If you look around there are some good kids out there, because their parents raised them right. Yes I agree its far and few in between. But like I said, all you can do as a parent is your best.
And if that means a swat on the butt, then you SHOULD be able to do that as a parent, as long as your not out of control, beating your kids.
Don't be too discouraged, i know a lot of people that really fear having kids, because the way the wrold is now, ya da ya da....
Just go for it, my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to my husband and myself... she is PURE joy. Of course its hard, but VERY rewarding!