My husbands daughter and her boyfriend who are being married in September didn't even give us a card. Then there are people who I would of expected to give us a card and we got nothing. Would you ask them where the card is?
2007-05-21 08:31:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
NO! Gifts are not required and asking about it makes you look rude (although it IS rather rude to attend a wedding, eat the food, drink the drinks, and not even leave a card!)
2007-05-21 08:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Is this by any chance a second marriage for either one of you? Since your husband has a daughter old enough to be getting married, I would assume that it is. A lot of people don't bring gifts to second marriages because wedding gifts are typically things the couple will need for the home. If you have already been married, then you probably don't need any of those things, so people didn't give them to you. I wouldn't say anything, because gifts aren't required in the first place. I can understand that it may have hurt your feelings a little, but saying something about it would only make matters worse. Perhaps, especially if you weren't registered, people assumed you had everything you needed and didn't bother. Another thing, you said "some people" which means not everyone didn't bring a gift. That's normal. I've never heard of a wedding that had a 100% gift giving. Not everyone believes in giving wedding gifts. Even people who know that its customary. I would just be grateful for the gifts you did recieve and not worry about those that you didn't.
2007-05-21 08:54:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This just happened to us as well. The had a destination wedding and few people could attend, so we felt a nice reception would allow these folks to still be part of the ceremony. We had 15 people do a no show, and about 1/3 who came, brought nothing. But they did enjoy $50/plate with free drinks. Not even a card? Now that is too rude and some peope have no manners what-so-ever.
The folks that have answered this, must be single - or they would have the balls to admit that it's rude to NOT bring a thing. Do not ask. That is stooping to a slug's level - as the slugs who were not thoughtful enough to bring anything but their ravenous appetites. I wasn't raised that way. Some folks weren't "raised" at all.
2007-05-23 13:21:41 · answer #3 · answered by Mother of the Bride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Do not say anything to them unless something is said to you. Some people don't bring gifts, and while that can be slightly rude it is not a requirement for going to a wedding. It is possible that the card got lost, but if you come out and ask for it, it will make you look like you are grubbing for presents and is very rude!
I would, however still be sure to take a present to their wedding. Weddings are not about who owes who what. It's about a celebration. Be thankful for the gifts that you have instead of counting the gifts you didn't get.
2007-05-21 10:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by Rayani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have all kinds of reasons why they might choose not to give a gift. I don't think it would ever be polite to ask "where's my gift?" Maybe they're having financial troubles - or they were running late and rushed out the door and left their card behind - or have ordered a gift that will arrive by mail - or who knows? I would send them a card thanking them for being a part of your special day. It's possible that the gift was misplaced somewhere along the line and they're thinking that you have received it.
With your new step-daughter, are there any hard feelings? Your husband should probably sit down and talk with her and make sure everything's OK.
2007-05-21 09:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat as you. I got married in Vegas and there were many people who didn't give us cards/gifts. Just like another poster said, "it seemed like more people gave us money that couldn't really afford it and the ones who "Won big" at the tables couldn't even give us a card or anything.
It isn't wrong to wonder if this is an oversight, rudeness, or simply etiquette on the part of your guests. Of course we didn't Invite our guests to the wedding for a trivial gift, but it is a little disheartening to know so many people are not thoughtful enough to at least leave a card for the newlyweds.
I am still writing the rest of my "Thank You" cards, 2 months later and the cards I have left are the people who didn't provide a card or gift. I am just thanking them for their presence and making sure they know how much it meant for them to share in the blessed event with you and your family!
At any rate, congratulations on your wedding and good luck with your thank you's!
2007-05-21 09:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by sterlingshell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you are asking where your card/gift is, this is just rude, and seems like begging. Some people aren't that thoughtful, or maybe felt if they gave you a card, there would need to be money in it, and maybe they can't afford a gift right now. If they did bring something and don't receive a thank you for it, they will ask you about it, or they will think you are rude for not sending a thank you card. What you can do is just send thank you's to everyone who you know was there, just for being there, and that way if there was a mix up you are not being rude, and still acknowledge there presence there.
2007-05-21 08:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by ALFimzadi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you cant ask, its very rude. BUT if you are sure they were there you still have to send a thank you note. As the first poster said, weddings are not gift mandatory events, but every guest deserves a heartfelt thank you note for their attendance in celebrating with you that day.
PS This usually only happens with a few gifts, if you have alot that are missing, you may want to think about whether or not some of your gifts and cards were stolen or if some gifts will be sent to your home directly, people have up to a month after the wedding to send gifts and it not be considered tacky.
2007-05-21 08:48:32 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you get married just for the gifts? No way would I ask where their card is, how rude is that!!! OK so they could have bought you something, but it's not the law and you should NEVER expect anything from a wedding. It's a day that you host the party, it's not your birthday.
2007-05-21 21:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!! Gifts are not required you want people there to be so they can help celebrate an important moment in you life not give you things. GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL. You are just another selfish bride! Weddings are not about presents and how pretty you look and all that nonsense. That comes second if you should even be thinking about that at all. wedding are all about showing your love to the one you are marrying and promising to be faithful and loving forever. You want friends and family there to help you celebrate it!! Not be a bridzilla demanding cards from everyone coming in the door!!!
2007-05-21 09:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by Small Town 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! That would be almost as rude as them comming to your wedding without a gift.
if your husband's daughter was in the wedding, she and her boyfriend probably did not get you another gift. I would assume that the attendents got you a group gift.
Or, it could be that some people (them included) could not afford a gift.
At any rate, asking them is very rude.
Look at it this way: One less thank you note to write.
2007-05-21 09:12:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋