It is written in the bible that it's better to marry than to burn with passion. It's also written that he who finds a wife findeth a good thing. The problem I'm having personally is that I live in America where dating is the norm. Dating has a lot of pitfalls in it. I haven't been really successful with it. I've been divorced now for almost six years. People around me think I'm insane because I'm considering a marriage agency. I just want to skip the b.s. and heartache associated with dating. The Bible doesn't give us clear cut answers regarding this. It just says no sex before marriage and to marry a Christian. In the Old Testament, hebrew marriages were most likely arranged families and there was no dating nor courtship. Can anyone give me some clear cut answers as to what to do? I'm alone and burning with passion.
2007-05-21 08:09:25 · 20 answers · asked by roughruggedraw 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To clarify regarding my divorce. My ex-wife did commit adultery. I still wanted the marriage to work, but it couldn't. My ex-wife was not willing to work things out.
2007-05-21 08:19:08 · update #1
My suggestion would be to "widen out," meaning expand your circle of friends. Let people whose opinions you value know that you are interested in dating, and if they know of anyone who you might be compatible with they could arrange a date. That's how I met my husband- at a bowling alley with mutual friends. It wasn't a planned set up, but it sure did the trick! :-p
You could also try meeting like minded people at a local book group, class (art, writing, etc.) or some sort of club. Locally, we have one that is comprised of single people who are all interested in extreme sports.
I think doing anything online or just marrying anyone will lead to heartache. Just because a person says one thing on the Internet doesn't necessarily make it the truth.
Pray to God for guidance and support, and make sure you work in cooperation with your requests. A mate isn't just going to materialize out of thin air- you have to put yourself out there and be the person you want to attract, if that makes any sense.
Put another way, if you cultivate and demonstrate the qualities you are interested in when it comes to a mate, you are more likely to attract someone who has those same qualities. 'Birds of a feather flock together,' you know?
I hope this helps, and that you find love and happiness! :0)
2007-05-21 08:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by danni_d21 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can't just get married because you are burning up with your urges. You can take care of that easy enough by playing with yourself! Marriage is supposed to be a merging of two people who have similar beliefs, interests, goals, and personalities. Try eharmony.com, a Christian Dating Service. Then get busy with work and hobbies and service to others and you will probably meet somebody while you are doing good on the Earth. Don't listen to those who put you down for being divorced either. Some marriages just cannot work out and even the Bible allows for divorce when there is cheating or abuse involved. If you have children from your past marriage, however you should get involved in their lives as much as possible. Their welfare should supersede yours until they are grown.
2007-05-21 08:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lavender 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says that divorce is acceptable because of adultery only. So, I have considered this option in the past when I was unable to control my need for sex.. I'm old enough now to where it's not as important and I realize God may have a different plan for me. I am now very happy being single. Somewhere in the New Testament it says to mortify your members which means to control or discipline yourself. It seems that would be more important than finding a woman to "do it" with. Be patient. Maybe God needs you to be single for a reason. If not, He will provide someone who is thinking the same thing you are. I'm so glad I didn't run into someone like you when I felt that way. We would both be miserable now. Pray about it and keep away from porn, strip joints, etc.
2007-05-29 00:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by cindyunion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right - Paul did say that if a person was treating their virginity (or singleness in your case) without respect then it would be better to marry, and you are absolutely right that premarital sex is wrong in God's eyes. I commend you for doing what is right, and you are in a hard situation. (being 37 and never been married because i wish to marry someone who shares my faith, I understand completely.) I dont think youre insane, but please be cautious. As the scriptures say, who of you does not build a tower without first counting the cost? Where will you find this person to be your mate? Will she share your goals, your faith, your interests? Is she from another country? Will you have to wait for her to come here, perhaps years, due to governmental regulations? You will not find clear cut answers in the scriptures because the custom of marriage is left to each culture as they see fit. There are still Christians who practice arranged marriage so you are not unusual. And there is no sin in pursuing the equivalent of one - Jesus parents were married by a simple action of Joseph taking Mary to his home. Who knows how long they were promised to one another before that? But before you find a new mate, read Proverbs 31 and see what qualities you wish for in a wife. Make sure that what the woman is saying to you is the truth and not just a desire to get to this country. Pray about it - pray for self control and for the other fruitages of the spirit so that you may make a wise decision. And above all, do all things for the glory of God. I wish you the best.
2007-05-28 15:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by indigoskies213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry you're feeling this way. divorce is a hard thing for a christian to go through because God hates it. I have someone very close to me going thru a divorce right now because her husband was unfaithful & he's an alcoholic & there wasn't really a marriage in the first place....God hates that more. My advice I guess would be prayer. And as cliche' as that sounds...it will help. Get into a small group at church for singles...mingle around during coffee hour...you have to date to get to know your future wife. it's the best part of the relationship. God will bring someone to you and with prayer & distraction will put out that burning passion. Good luck & God bless!
2007-05-28 12:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by danielle:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to your friends and just go on and join the marriage agency if that's what you want. Marriage agency aren't that bad.
And dating isn't bad unless you can't control yourself. Try group dating, that way you can get to know the other person without the chance of sexual intimacy.
But really you should learn to trust GOD for the best in your life. GOD knows you better than yourself. Believe GOD is preparing the right partner for you. Then be patient and wait for GOD's timing. Accept your life circumstances as they are and learn to be content. This is the best thing for you to do. And don't forget to ask GOD for help in controlling yourself, your burning passion. And take a cold shower.
2007-05-29 05:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by Pam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That makes 2 of us :) Dating hasn't worked for me either, and I definitely long to sleep embraced every night.
However the US has a large Christian population (unlike my country) so you have good chances of finding a wife. Have you tried the Internet? There are several Christian match making websites:
www.christiancafe.com
www.christiansinglesdating.com
www.relationships.com
www.singlesoffaith.com
Personally I posted an ad on www.friendfinder.com, but that's not a Christian only website. Through it I met an American Christian, but he backed off from the marriage proposal in the end because he said the Holly Spirit convicted him to confess his lies, so I came back from the US heart broken. It was very sad and he hurt me badly, so be careful. Triple check facts before trusting blindly.
Pray about it, if it is God's will he will help you find a suitable partner. Otherwise, he will give you patience to endure your solitude.
Philippians 4
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
2007-05-21 08:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go out with women in your ministry and members of your Church community. Friends of faith and members of other Churches are good choices for friendships and eventually love. Leviticus 18 tells us who we cannot consider as a potential partner, everyone else is a candidate provided we share our faith and are equally yoked. Passion and lust are of the flesh, Godly Desire is of righteousness. Having been married ask yourself "What must I do, how can I improve myself ? What is attractive to the woman I want to share my life with ?" Focus on being the best Christian you can be and the rest will follow.
2007-05-21 09:37:13 · answer #8 · answered by niwremsw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So am I hearing that Ur getting "Antsie" looking for a wife, is that what Ur saying??? U say U are a Christian, meaning U trusted God for Salvation (the greater work) but U can't (or won't) trust Him for Ur "Right Woman" (the Lesser Work) is that what Ur saying??? Where are Ur Priorities my friend??? Did U enjoy the first Divorce??? Can't wait to do it again??? I think God will send U Ur gal, when U are ready & she is ready. Any other time will see U in Court!!! That's what a great God we have, He's our Best Friend & we are our Worst Enemy!!! Get into Doctrine until God says Ur ready!!! John
2007-05-21 08:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by moosemose 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are many agencies even in America and Western world, these I am sure can arrange your marriage in a Christian style, or you can advertise through some dating agencies for kind of marriage you want
2007-05-28 12:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by amtusS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋