Have you ever loved someone so much that you consider changing yourself for that person ...and eventhough the relationship doesn't work anyway ....Did you deeply regret after that ? Did you find yourself back ?
2007-05-21 07:17:41 · 25 answers · asked by bobby s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All successful relationships require some compromise, change has to be shared or it won't work. If one side demands all the change, it will destroy the relationship. Meet them halfway.
2007-05-21 07:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. And I dont really regret it but I learned a lot. Compromise is a apart of a healthy relationship. But it can become unhealthy when you are no longer true to yourself. As two people grow to know eachother each will find that the person they thought was perfect is well... NOT! So it takes some give and take to keep it moving. But when either tries to actually change the person that is called control. Control is a start to an unhealthy relationship. So be flexible. Wear your hair up once in a while if it turns him on. Watch the chick flick if it makes your babygirl happy. But never feel that you have to change the way you speak or more importantly think. Be you. If he/she doesnt like you...then you move on to someone who does. Much love to ya.
2007-05-21 07:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by loverorfriend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have changed for that person, and it isn't always enough. When it's a problem like drinking too much, or whatever, it's a good change. But if it's just a personality conflict or the fact that you like different things, it's not worth changing because you aren't being YOU in the relationship. You're being the other person's creation. I've changed dumb things about myself, and I changed back when we broke up. I regret the changes I made in the first place because they weren't flaws, they were just differences.
2007-05-21 07:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all...it is not about love. It is about YOUR low self esteem or feeling of self worth.
I did it alot when I was younger....always wanted "THIS" one to be the one, and so I kept allowing myself to "change" into an acceptable entity for the other person.
It is very unhealthy. I summed it up this way. Take a spring loaded screw and slowly keep turning it tighter...and tighter...and tighter. Eventually the spring breaks and the whole thing blows up in your face.
That is what it is like if you allow yourself to change in order to be accepted by another. Before you know it, you don't even know who you are anymore, and one day you realize you don't like who you have become...or where you are.
And it only hurts the both of you.
Forget the love part, you never FIND love....you be yourself and allow that to become your security, and then you attract people who like you for who you already are in yourself, and then love finds YOU.
2007-05-21 07:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by David S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to change to please someone else is never a wise choice, you may believe you love them so much you would do anything, but if you feel you need to change to make them love you, you are only setting yourself up for hurt. And the longer you stay with it, the longer it takes to remember who you truly are. You never get back the lost time, and sometimes the self-doubt takes years to overcome. Stay true to yourself- don't try to find, or manipulate romance, and it will find you, and chances are it will be reciprocated.
2007-05-21 07:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by Rita B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have changed for other people, but no I do not regret it. I have discovered amazing things about myself and things I like that I would have never found were I not willing to step out of my box and change a little bit... No, I didn't find myself back, because I never left, just because you change your habits or thought patterns does not mean that you are losing yourself...
2007-05-21 07:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by Revelation S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I spent 3.5 years in HS constantly trying to be exactly who he wanted me to be. It sucked, I was never "good enough" and I completely forgot who I really was. It was 6+ years ago that I got out of that relationship and I'm still piecing myself back together. It takes time to remember what your individual dreams were, how you used to look at yourself in the mirror, that the way you make scrambled eggs is just fine and you can stop making them his way.... I know this is the extreme, but it started simply enough. Always be yourself. Anyone who is worth being with will love you for every little bit of who you really are.
2007-05-21 07:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by feenixsunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone and they love you back, then they'll always love you for who and what you are. If you have to change for another person, your only denying yourself. If you want to change you have to change for yourself and no one else. Someone will always love the real you, it just takes some time to find them.
2007-05-21 07:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never change for anyone. If you change you will regret it in the end. If a person loves you they will except you for who you are. If they can not deal with all of your flaws then they need to find someone they can deal with.
2007-05-21 07:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by Cherri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeap, every relationship requires change from both sides for the relationship to be successful, in a worse case if still it does'nt work, you cannot find urself back, it definately leaves an impact on u
2007-05-21 07:21:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋