My son was given a timeout for misbehaving, and i told him he had to stay there for 4 minutes, quietly...well its been about 10 minutes, but he still screaming and yelling...should i make him keep staying there until hes calmed down? or should i use a different approach?
2007-05-21 06:49:45 · 29 answers · asked by Jessica 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
And to all who are asking, yes he is 4 yrs old...been almost 20 minutes now and still screaming...my head is pounding...
2007-05-21 07:00:41 · update #1
No, make him stay there until he is quiet for 4 minutes like you already told him....If you let him out now after you already told him that he wasn't comming out until he was quiet for 4 minutes then he wins and he will surely misbehave again. What you need to do is get down on his level and explain to him that he isn't going to get his way and he will not be able to leave the corner until he is quiet for 4 minutes and then walk away. FYI I'm not sure if you already knew this but you're only supposed to put children in time out for as long as there age is. If he's 4 then 4 minutes is perfect....If he's older/younger ajust the time...A child's attention span is only as long as his age. I hope this helps.
2007-05-21 06:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
The consensus seems to be to leave him until he stops screaming. I agree, but just want to point out that he will have no idea how long 4 minutes is. If he sits stops having a tantrum, and sits quietly for a while, even if it's just one minute, there's no harm done if you tell him 4 minutes has passed. Then you can hug him and you will both feel better.
2007-05-21 14:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I never went by the so many min for the number of years. Since my kids were about 2 I put them in their bed for a timeout and let them scream.When their done screaming and are ready to apoligize they can come out. Eventually they learned that if they didn't throw a fit they'd get out faster. I hope by now your son is out but good luck.
2007-05-21 14:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Melba 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have a 4 year old who throws the same kind of tantrums... I make him sit on his bed in time out until he calms down. The first few times it took a while but now he knows what will happen so he clears it up quicker. If he is been extra tempermental I'll shut his bedroom door, he hates that but again... it makes him wanna dry it up earlier so that he can come out and have fun again.
2007-05-21 14:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by mlcjlrich 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A four year old child should only be in time-out for 4 minutes- then you say to him in a low firm voice " Mommy put you in time out because (what did he do?)" and let him out if he says he is sorry. and give him a hug- this will work!
Give him something to play with and it will be over- 20 minutes- as you can see- is too long! Good Luck!
2007-05-21 14:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by Barb 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
How old is he? Because if he is old enough to understand and do as you say I would leave him there till he does as you have asked. As long as he is not hurting himself physicaly he is fine to cry and throw a fit till he is all done. IF the fit throwing is getting on your nerves I would say a pop on the buttom works (I know some people don't agree with spanking but if it works and you don't use anything other then your hand to do it then go for it ) My son stands with his nose to the wall if he does misbehave like takeing a toy and then trying to hit when it is given back to the person he took it from but if he throws or hits me I spank his bottom and he doesn't do it again. So you also have to take into account just how bad he was. Good Luck
2007-05-21 14:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by Toni T 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I've went through the same thing with my son. will it seems to me like time out is not working for him try to sit with him and see why he is acting this way. he is only 4 and they dont understand to much but they do understand let him know that you are mom and what moms say that's it he cant get his way. try to give him an option stay there for 4 minutes or not watch TV all day.
2007-05-21 14:14:37 · answer #7 · answered by jar0228r 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him he needs to stay there until he finds his self control. Once he does that, he will stay in there for four minutes, then be let out. He is challenging you.. Dont let him win! You must stay calm! If he looses his self control and starts screaming again, the timer stops. The whole process starts over again...Trust me, this will be hard, but if you stay consistent, you will thank yourself later when you have a child who can control himself!
2007-05-21 14:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by Momto8gr8 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some children do not respond to time out at all, all it does is get them ralled up even more. My 3 year old will not go to time out without screaming for hours on end, and obviously you cant leave him in time out all day long. Let him know what he did wrong and make sure he understands, tell him next time he does it he will be in trouble again. The biggest thing to discipline is consistency,if you use time out leave the rules the same, if you spank then keep it consistent. I have given up on time out completely I have to spank, it is the only thing that works on mine. I also use 1,2,3 which gives them a warning, I don't like to say something more then once... so I tell them they are doing something wrong, they choose not to listen then that is one, keep on that is two, by this time they normally stop if not then that is three AND a spanking. There are many important things to remember when disciplining a child #1 consistency #2 mean what you say, say what you mean don't make empty threats #3 NO EMOTION(this is by far the hardest to accomplish but VERY effective) do not let your child know you are getting aggravated this only feeds them, giving them what they want. I'm not sure how old your child is but make sure you discipline if they do, do something they are not supposed to over and over. Stand your ground let them know you are boss not them. Good luck!
2007-05-21 14:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Lauren J 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Make him stay until he's calm for a full 4 minutes.. It might take an hour, but it will be well worth it in the end. Good luck to you
2007-05-21 13:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋