My husband had 2 children from his ex girlfriend when we met and now we have a 15 month old son. I have always wanted to have 3 children but he already has 3 right now! We have decided (very excitedly) over the next year to get pregnant again. Whenever asked about us having more children my husband always says "we're going to have one more" and is all smiles. I have never asked him if there would be more children beyond this but I think i want at least TWO more. We are very young (18 and 22) Would it be selfish to ask for two more if any considering he already has 3, and i only have 1?
2007-05-21 06:23:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't think it is selfish if you tell him how you feel and listen honestly to how he feels. It is a decision that you should make together. Although, seriously, why the heck do you want so many kids? ;)
2007-05-21 06:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by theflynnmom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not really selfish to want to have 3 kids.......even if your husband already has two. However, since he does already have two kids, you do have to consider this when thinking about more children. Lots of people have 4 or more children, but I think sometimes the children suffer because they don't get enough attention from their parents. It's a little early to start worrying about this. Go ahead and try for another baby, then see how you feel about a third after you have two. You may decide 2 is enough!!
2007-05-21 06:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by Amy27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How well does he do supporting the 3 kids he has right now? I dont know the guy but it obviously didnt work with his exgirlfriend and she has 2 kids to support without a father. You are 18 years old, would you be prepared to care for yourself and 2 children if he decided he didnt want to be there anymore. The child-support system is a joke, you have to look at the real possibility that you could be caring for 2 children on your own. I dont know. I'm 21, I have one child and her father cares about her and I very much and its still hard. I also think about what I'd do if he left and I dont know how I could care for the two of us. I cant imagine having another child to care for even with his help and without his help is isnt even an option. Just think about this a little bit more. Maybe get into a situation where you know you could care for your family even without their father and then decide if you want more children. You might find when you get yourself into a tidy little safe place where you depend on no one that you and your child are enough to make you happy. I hope that made sense, I get no sleep at all (and thats just with one 3 week old) Good Luck to you. Only you know whats best for you!
2007-05-21 06:48:24 · answer #3 · answered by Christina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish to want children. Considering that you are very young I would give it time before having anymore children. You want to be able to spend as much time with these children you already have as much as possible. The more kids you have the harder it will be.Concentrate on the ones you have for now until the other children can at least start going to pre-k. Ultimately you have to think about what is best for you kids. Trust me i know i'm going through it now with my fiancee.
2007-05-21 06:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by LiLy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait a while before you have the 2nd child, you are young and in a young realtionship, the stress of one baby (plus 2 step kids) is alot of strain to put on your relationship. Have #2 when this baby is at least 4, then decide what you want to do after that. At 18 you think you can plan your whole life, but life has other ideas. Good luck
2007-05-21 06:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is selfish only if he is unable to support the others. You need to think about the child support he is paying. Think about how well you'd be able to live if you were the parent of the other 2 kids. If those other 2 are not receiving sufficient support, he has no right having more kids, no matter how many YOU want. This is something that should have been discussed before you got married.
2007-05-21 06:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Zuker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly if you are only 18 and he is 22 how on earth are you going to support 6 children? and why does he have so many children already? i think you need to take care of your one baby and wait a little while before having another. 6 children is a lot for anyone let alone a young couple. you are still a child yourself
2007-05-21 06:27:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
its not selfish but wow dont u know the population is already out of control why make it worse you dont need 3 kids i mean u ahve his 3 right cant u love and care for those kids as u could ur own? if u want more id consider adopting theres kids out there that need homes really bad and if you LOVE kids its perfect for you reallly consider adopting if you wnat more and make sure u can afford more.
hope this advice helps some.
2007-05-21 07:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by Crys 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he had 2/3 kids with another girl, and you are taking good care of them so that should be respected, and you married him that also should be respected because a lot of wives dont want to marry men who already have kids. So I think you should talk to him about it. I don't think it would be selfish. Just talk to him and see how he feels about it. Good Luck!
2007-05-21 06:33:18 · answer #9 · answered by liveyourlife22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are 24 and 25 and we have three girls 6,3, and 1. It is a handful with three girls. Not just financially but they all want my attention at the same time and that takes a lot out of you. Its is not selfish of you to want more kids just be honest and make sure he does too.
2007-05-21 06:34:49 · answer #10 · answered by amable 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and ask him but also be happy with the compromise of 1 more
you are very lucky for him to be wanting more most people that already have 3 dont want more kids
2007-05-21 06:40:08 · answer #11 · answered by Cindy C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋