my boyfriend and i are having a baby in july ! He is 17 and i am 15 and i am not so sure what to do....
If i dont marry him hed have to register as a sex ofender for the next 25 yrs, and my daughter would get made fun of! I love him so much and we have been together for 3 years but what is your opinion?
2007-05-21 06:10:42 · 35 answers · asked by sharpiebaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would tell you to wait. Everyone will. You need to follow your heart, but I know what a baby can do to a great relationship. I was 18 when my daughter was born. My husband and I had never fought before we had children. I would see how you both handle the extra stress of having a baby before you get married. I also want you to know that all kids get teased and they live through it. Don't make a decision on what might happen. I hope you have help with your pregnancy and the baby. You will need a strong support system to raise the baby. Good luck and if you need anymore help email me at lbvoltz23698@yahoo.com. I know how crazy things can be.
2007-05-21 06:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have thought about the consequences of his actions before he had sex with you.
So what you are saying is that the reason you would be getting married now is to keep him out of jail.
Hm...how romantic......
Do you know if all of your friends father's are registered sex offenders? Probably not. More than likely nobody will notice anyway.
And, sorry to tell you this, but I would be willing to bet that by the time your daughter is old enough to even KNOW what a sex offender is, he won't be around anyway.
You are in a tough spot. But the answer is no. Do not marry him. Two wrongs do not make a right. And there is a child's life to consider here.
I would seriously consider putting that baby up for adoption. If you love your daughter, give her a chance for a better life with two parents that are able to give her all that she needs. Neither of you are grown up enough to be good parents. You haven't even finished growing physcially yet, never mind mentally. You cannot offer this child any kind of stable home. Even if you finish school, how will the two of you support each other and her? Living with parents? You think parents are a pain now....wait until you have a husband and a baby for them to deal with. Living with relatives is bad. Living with relatives and beeing married is horrible.
What you are doing is going to effect you for the rest of your life. Consider your choices carefully. There are lots of families out there that cannot have kids that would give your daughter everything she could ever want and love her completely. Think about it.
Whatever you do, do NOT marry this man. Wait until you finish high school and turn 18. Then wait one more year. If he's still around, and you still love him, then get married.
2007-05-21 09:31:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how different I am now from when I was 15 and that was only 10 years ago!! You will grow and change into such a different person over the next five years even that you won't even recognize the girl that you are now. I know that things seem really desperate and bleak, but things will get better. Have you thought about giving the baby up for adoption? Babies are SO much work and there are so many nice couples out there that would love to have kids but can't. With the way that adoptions go these days, you can pick the parents and you can even have an open adoption where you can visit and watch your child grow up. I know that it would be hard, but if you truly love your child, it is a sacrifice that you would make for them so that they can have the best life possible. It is DEFINITELY worth looking into. Don't let your childhood pass you by... you have a lot left to do to grow up. No matter what you decide though, finish high school!!! You will regret it if you drop out... trust me!!
2007-05-21 06:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by lucard100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not marry your boyfriend at 15. Stay with your parents until you are 18. Then see if you still want to marry him. Getting married is a huge commitment.
He may not have to register as a sex offender being he is a minor also. You could also NOT put him on the babies birth certificate. List the father as unknown. Then there would be no link between you and him having a baby together. But that also means no child support depending on your state.
2007-05-21 06:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by Micheleci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to your mother. Make absolutely certain of your true feelings and the laws before you make any decision like this. If he is trying to pressure you into marriage holding the baby and the law over your head, then you definitely need to get your advice from someone else. You are both minors, I don't see how he would be prosecuted as a sex offender... You also need to continue your education no matter what. Again, talk to your family and get some support. You can't do this alone and certainly not with just the help of a 17 year old.
2007-05-21 06:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do you live...because the last I heard was that he isn't an adult until 18 years old...I get the feeling someone if feeding you a line of bull.... are you being pressured into this by someone??? If you love the guy...then great, but marriage is hard and having a baby is harder...take it from someone who started really young and has been married more then once. You need to know going into this that its going to be hard and not all fun and games. And now you have this fear of him having to become a registered sex offender now. What does your heart tell you??? If you are serious about the guy and truely love him...then marry him, but find out what the laws are FIRST!!! It's not hard to make a few phone calls and find out. MAKE SURE NO ONE IS PULLING YOUR CHAIN AND MAKING YOU DO WHAT THEY WANT...and not what you want!!! Be very careful!!!! Good luck
2007-05-21 06:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie don't get married just because you are having a baby. You are still a kid and so is your boyfriend. I don't think he will have to register as a sex offender because he is not yet 18 and you are over 14 (the age of consent).
The very best advice I could give you is to place your baby for adoption. You think you know how much there is to raising a child and you do not have a clue. You need to finish school and so does your boyfriend. There is so much you need to do before you are ready to be a Mom. Please sit down with someone you trust and talk to them about what you see for yourself in the future. Imagine what life will be with a child and then imagine life without a child. Talk these things through with a trusted adult. Talk to your boyfriend. What does he see for his future without a high school diploma. How about if he finishes school and maybe gets some education after high school. Does he think it will be different? These are all things you need to think about now before your child is born. Please consider what would be best for your baby. This is the toughest decision you will ever have to make and you need time to consider all of the possible endings. Best of luck to you and may God bless you.
2007-05-21 06:26:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG. You both are too young to be in this stress & situation. Why didn't you use birth control pills? or condoms? If you really love each other & want to have this baby, marry him & hope for a good future together, then YES, it would be a good idea to marry him (with your parents permission) but don't use the excuse of "saving him from the Sex Offenders List". And, I don't think he will go on the Sex Offenders List anyway because he's only 17 years old. You both are underage. The both of you should get married because you love each other. Never marry a guy just to save their good name. Never marry a guy for the wrong reasons.
2007-05-21 06:20:58 · answer #8 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
please don't get married. You're both too young for marriage and you're going to have to deal with raising a baby as it is. He will not have to register as a sex offender because he's only 17, if he was 18 or older than he would. You're both under-age. Where are both your parents? I'm hoping each of you are still living at your parent's home, continuing with your education. Is there a day care in your school? Some schools in my area have a day care so that the parents can attend school while their child is being properly taken care of, (it's free) and the parent is allowed during lunch or study to spend time with their child. Please wait a few years to get married, get your diplomas and take care of that child. Good luck!
2007-05-21 06:23:31 · answer #9 · answered by Gracie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that if your boyfriend was under the age of 18 at the time of the pregnancy he would not have to register , check your age of consent laws for the state you are in.
To get married you would need parental consent because you are both under 18/21 depending on your state.
do not get married for that reason only. you make think you are mature enough to make a lifetime commitment, but once you have the demands of the baby and the stress of paying the bills and rent and job things could change drastically.
Do you have a pastor at your church that you could talk to? You do not say where your parents stand on this. I would suggest that you get some kind of counselling before you make this major decision.
2007-05-21 06:22:29 · answer #10 · answered by shirleyb1948 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋