How do I help my depressed grandpa?

Question

My grandma died a month ago and my grandpa is so depressed. He lived alone in his house with his little dog and keeps saying he wants to die. I've been staying with him since my grandma died and cook for him and keep him company, but I'm leaving next month and don't know what to do with him. Whenever I am away for even a day, his depression gets worse, but I can't be with him constantly, and I feel really bad.

Answer 1

Get in touch with someone else who knows your grandpa...neighbors, church members, clergy, doctor, friends, relatives...Explain the situation and ask for their help. I think you will find people willing to join together and help out. Ask them to call on him, stop by, drop off food, just check in on him.
What your grandpa is going through is completely natural - not that that makes it any easier - but understand that the death of your grandmother is very difficult for him, and a month is a very short period of time in the grieving process.
It is extremely sweet of you to be so concerned and to be taking care of him, and I think that if you can find some others to help ease your mind, you and your grandpa will both be happier for it.
Also, when you leave, try to make a point of calling him and sending him frequent little cards and notes...that will brighten his days, also.
Take care of yourself, and I wish you and your grandpa the best.

Answer 2

When you say his depression worsens, is he suicidal or not. First get him to a Dr so he can get some meds and make sure all of the ones he is taking are not contraindicated. An exam will explore his longevity, provide some answers to his condition. This may sound radical but might work, then take him down to the local funeral home and get a prepaid funeral service the way he wants. This will indirectly reassure him that his thoughts of dying are valid and you really care about his happiness. May scare the hell out of him too, in thinking about how he will be spending the last days of his life. Force him to focus on the joy he has and brings to those around him without using the guilt trip. When you leave, tell him that it will be easy on you knowing his wishes are taken care of. Promise to stay in touch and let you know if he needs you..........He just may realize, he isn't that depressed and enjoying his life again without the missus, different but happy. Maybe suggest moving into a geriatric center for convince, with specialists that can help him. Try all the good ideas here, everyone is different and there is no one right answer.

Answer 3

You have to rally friends and neighbors to help you and him out. He needs a support system other than you. (I'm sure you're doing everything you can, but for a caregiver, that can get hard.) I went through this after my mother died and I had to leave for college a few months later. I called my father every day or every other day asking in a perky voice "What'd you make for dinner tonight? I had bad cafeteria food." And he'd laugh and remember what mom had screwed up or Army food. And then I'd change the subject to asking what I should write on for history class and he'd perk up again and tell me all about the 1940's or something. The phone calls were a good distraction from being depressed and he felt he was helping me.

I know, it's hard. How about asking people in town to write down recipes and you can make a little recipe book for him? Or any of your grandma's recipes? My father didn't know how to cook since my mother did all the cooking.

Good wishes to the both of you. But it does take a while to get past depression. The best you can do is to be there when he needs to talk, whether in person or on the phone. I feel for you both.

Answer 4

Thats sad. Theres not a lot you can do, considering your an adult and need to figure out your own life. maybe give him some ideas to do. even walk the dog down to the park or something. fresh air can do a lot for a person. let him know he can call you when your gone and that you love him, and not to do anything stupid, or selfish, if you know what i mean. find him something to keep him occupied, like a club (elks, rotary, lions) or a bingo night to look forward too. he needs to know that there is life after your grandma and that she wouldnt want him to be living that way. anyone would be depressed after having there spouse die, so maybe this depression is really just grief. he could move on from it, you never know. sorry for your loss, good luck in the future!

Answer 5

Grandpa needs to be seen by his doctor. Depression in the elderly is grossly under treated, and there is a lot of needless suffering going on in the geriatric population due to the stigma surrounding depression.....There are effective medications available for the condition, and prescription-subsidy programs are in place to help every senior afford the drugs they need.
On a personal note, my grandmother wallowed in a nasty depression for several years. When it came time for me to begin overseeing her medical care, I asked the doctor to evaluate her mood. After diagnosing her with depression, he prescribed Lexapro, which was effective and (all things considered) fast-acting.
Good Luck...

Answer 6

Give him fish oil supplements. I know it sounds weird, but it helps with depression. Also, contact the local meals on wheels so that they bring him food daily. You can't make him eat, but at least you are trying, right? Make sure you call him and keep him on track. See if there is a senior citizens center nearby. Most of the time, they can even pick him up.