I met a guy on the internet. He lives about 75 miles from me. We have sent each other numerous emails and talked on the phone for hours at a time. We haven't met in person but he said that he wanted to get to know me from the inside out not the outside in. He said that I am easy to talk to and that he is falling in love with me. I think that it is sweet but I am a little nervous because I did meet him on the internet. He sounds like a really nice guy. Should I pursue this or should I leave it alone?
2007-05-21 05:51:25 · 14 answers · asked by donjour6961 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, it is near impossible to have a good relationship with someone who lives 75 miles away... It is 10 times or more difficult than with someone you can see locally. It can be inticing to believe all the things people say in email, but it is also very easy to lie, in email.
Like others have said, meet only in a very public place, and even then have a friend in the wings who can help if necessary. Even having one sitting at a different table, who brought you there, so you are committed to leaving with them.
IF he really likes you or cares about you, he will also want to protect you, and agree to meeting on neutral ground.... BUT, even then, take care for the next time or next several times you meet. Many can and will play a "role or pretend to be good and just what you want." Until they get you alone, then they can be manipulative and or controlling. THIS can happen, even when you KNOW a person locally, its just easier to fool people when you don't know them.
FIRST in your email, ask about his friends, his relatives, and his family. He can lie about them also in email, but what you are looking for is how well he gets along with siblings and his parents. If he does not, that is a RED flag, of warning... Always see how a person treats their family, that is habitual behavior, and its a positive indication about how they will treat you in the future...
WHY, does he need to meet someone 75 miles away?
Is he from a small farming commuinty?
Why, do you need to meet someone far away? Meeting people who are friends of friends, relatives, in Church, in activities we enjoy, Hiking, swimming, skating or whatever, means you have something in common, and a potential friendship, then a relationship...
Remember, those trying to get to where they can take advantage of you, on the Internet, are ALWAYS going to say what they know you _want_ to hear. They can have been doing this for some time, and be quite practiced at doing so.
IF he objects to you bringing a friend to the meeting, RUN, drop him, do not talk to him in email, even change your name you use... If he insists in any way, that the meeting be held where or when he wants and under any conditions, he can be dangerous.
2007-05-21 06:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kingair315 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the "inside out", sounds like the words of a song - Bryan Adams recorded. Romantic, I am not sure. What I would do is arrange to meet him with a GROUP - safety in numbers you know. Do Not Go Alone. You do read don't you, and you have read the horror stories of young women,boys,girls, being seduced and even rapped meeting strangers that they met over the Internet! So you weren't very wise in starting this "romance", so now use your "smarts" and take care. To me, anyone that has to resort to the Internet to meet the opposite sex, has some real problems. Always remember, "words are easily spoken", but "actions speak louder then words". Good Luck, and don't do this anymore or we may be reading about you in the paper.
2007-05-21 06:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually met my ex online...and although that didnt work out for other reasons, we did hit it off right away and dated for several years. It's just like any other way of meeting someone...in a bar or on a blind date, for example. You just have to be smart about it and keep your guard up at first. Like some others have mentioned, meet in a public place and keep the first several dates casual and very public until you feel you know this person better, face to face. Just like any kind of dating (online or not) regardless of the circumstances of how you met, this person is essentially a stranger and will take some time to get to know...in person. It's too easy to be someone you're really not with the impersonal and basically annonymous nature of the internet, so lots of face time is key. Hope that helps!
2007-05-21 06:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by lil_sandry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all internet meetings have to be a bad incounter. However, if you are not feeling comfortable with it, then don't do it. From what you've said...seems like he's more into it than you anyway. I've met a couple of people from the internet. People can be who they want to be online. They were very different in person. Out of all the people I've met, I only keep in contact with one. Everyone else....uh...GOOD BYE! I find that websites that require you to pay will give you a better chance at meeting someone who isn't lying about who they are and what they want. Most people don't want to spend money on a waste of time so they tend to be more honest. I'd follow your gut. That's usually correct.
2007-05-21 06:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by The Lord's Child 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you only found this out from her friends, I suggest you talk to her about it. How do you know its the truth? If it is indeed true, then you would have to seriously consider the consequences of a sexual relationship with her. Personally it is not something I would do, but it is your life and your the only one who can make that decision for you. Good luck x
2016-05-18 23:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. You should meet; but make it in a public place. Meeting for coffee or lunch is your best bet. Don't let him pick you up at your place....plan to meet him somewhere. You should never give anyone your address till you get to know them better, especially when you don't know anything about them.
2007-05-21 05:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sue S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not that far apart and if you are getting on well just keep going --- the only proviso is that when you meet make sure it is in a public place and people know where you are and who you are meeting ---- it is no worse than meeting someone in a bar/club/church --- you dont really know them and you just keep seeing them til you get a feel for who they are and if you then want to keep seeing them --- best wishes
2007-05-21 05:59:47 · answer #7 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet up with him in a very public place! Don't meet at his house or your house. Meet him at a coffee shop or something or a resturant. It might be worth but then on the other hand it might be a total screw up. but I think it's worth a chance.
2007-05-21 05:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be VERY VERY CAREFUL MEETING PEOPLE OVER THE INTERNET!!! please.! You have every right in the world to be nervous! EVERY RIGHT!!! In my opinion dont go see him. YOu could get hurt, raped, killed... the cons outway the pros. We all want love but I would rather bump into it by chance outside of the computer than on the computer- It just scares me.. good luck and stay safe and go with your gut instinct on this one... toodles, allison
2007-05-21 05:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't because he is off the COMPUTER and have u ever heard of people getting killed off of meeting people on her i would wait for 5 months and then maybe meet him then
2007-05-21 06:42:32 · answer #10 · answered by hotblondegirl29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋