I met this guy who is in the military. We are both expats in a foreign country. We've been dating for a month and everything's perfect. Our dates were romantic, we have amazing conversations that would go on for hours and so far, he's a complete gentleman (we're not intimate yet). I'm starting to fall hard when he suddenly told me he's leaving at the end of this month. He's been transfered to another country. I'm devastated. I am waiting for him to broach the subject of long distance relationship but so far, he is saying he doesn't want one. What's puzzling is that he is asking if its possible for me to apply to another company thats based in his own country. He also told me he is planning to come back but he is not making any promises because its really hard. Although we both know our relationship is going nowhere, he still wants to see me until he leaves. I'm so confused! Is it because of our difficult situation that he wont commit or he is simply not just into me?
2007-05-21 05:41:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
*sigh*
i think you answered your own question. the cold hard truth of it is that when a guy really wants you, really wants you in his life, he will do whatever it takes to make it happen... even attempting something that seems so hopeless and difficult as a long-LONG-distance relationship like you've described.
if he's made up his mind, there's no changing it for him... ask him if you can keep in touch when he leaves. maybe the doubt he has now will fade away in time... but don't expect too much from him right now...
sorry sweetie... keep your head up, you never know what life has planned for you! :)
2007-05-21 05:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by tracii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible he doesn't know either or he's just having a hard time saying what he really wants to say. Since he's in the military, no one really knows if they will be back or not and that's something you can't really be sure of at all. Maybe it's a mission and it's not going to be easy. You two should get together, guys hate hearing "let's have a long distance relationship" instead it would be better to say "come back soon or I'll be waiting for you". The words "let's have a long distance relationship" can mean anything, it can be just as friends being in a possible relationship or not and those words alone is confusing since it's not like saying 'let's be together', it's almost like saying 'let's just keep in touch from time to time'. If you like him or love him, tell him, show him that you do. He's probably waiting for you to make the first move, most gentlemen type people like that, a lot.
2007-05-21 05:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life it's not just the way we feel that matters it's also the things that go on around us. Maybe long distance relationships are too hard on him, who knows. The fact is that he doesn't want one. I'm currently dating a woman that I like alot but she is looking to possibly take a job 2 hours away. While this isn't anywhere near the distance you are talking about it is still too far for me and I will most likely have to let her go. That doesn't mean we can't be friends and maybe see each other again when things are different. Try to focus on the time you have left and enjoy it.
2007-05-21 05:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by deniver2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should people want a long distance relationship? It's not real-- it's all about phone calls, emails, texting. There's no relationship! He has enjoyed a 30-day romance with you and is moving on now. He's not making any promises. What's so confusing? The man sounds like he's been perfectly honest. He wants to see you up until he leaves because it's FUN for him. He has no interest in being "faithful" to some girl he probably won't see without major travel plans. He'll just meet another girl at his next post and enjoy romantic, amazing dates with her.
2007-05-21 05:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if he is wanting you to check into transfering to where he is, obviously he is interested. I can understand why he doesn't want to commit to a long-distance relationship though....they are so hard. I'm sure he doesn't want to tie himself down like that and especially with someone whom he is not really serious about yet. Perhaps if you both had been dating seriously and then he got transferred it would be different. I guess he doesn't want to commit unless he know you will be where he is at.
I am always a bit skeptical when that happens....on one hand, if he liked you, he would want you regardless of locale and on the other hand the LD thing is a pain. Just make sure if you do move that he doesn't just want you as his on-the-road playmate and then when he is done, he will move on to other things.
2007-05-21 05:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that i tried the long distance thin g and it's hard enough having that kind of a relationship when there just in another state i can't even imagine how hard it would be in different countries? but i would spend my last days with him if i could and Even though you know the relationship is going no where and he still wants to see you show that he is totally into and doesn't want to let go but he knows that it is never going to happen i hope that i helped and enjoy it while you got it!!!!!!!
2007-05-21 05:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by Love hurts??? what to do?! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww I'm sure it's just because of the situation.. Trust me- they never work. And he probably knows that. That's why he doesn't want to commit right now because he doesn't want to mess things up. If you guys wait- or you can be transfered up there- he obviously wants to be with you! The long-distance thing can just really sucks for both sides.
2007-05-21 05:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you're not having sex yet doesn't mean he never intended NOT to have it. Maybe he wanted to wait two months (not one) into the relationship to have sex. You need to remember that he had a time line for HIMSELF...not for both of you...for HIMSELF. Now that both of you literally can't be physically together, how can HIS time line work out?
Some, not all, men think of sex when they hear the word relationship.
Some, not all, women think long term romance when they hear the word relationship.
Clearly he's not worried about getting killed and leaving you behind because you both are in the military and probably stationed in a hostile area. Stay with him until he leaves, but don't let his "time line" get in the way of your safety and work.
2007-05-21 05:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be very into you, but you've only known eachother for one month. That's probably too soon to talk serious (marriage) commitment. With that in mind, he probably doesn't want to try to keep a relationship going when he can't be in contact with you every day. The best thing for both of you may be just to stop seeing eachother as soon as possible......or, decide if you want to move to another country for a guy you've only known a month.
2007-05-21 05:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by Ken 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think anyone WANTS to have a long distance relationship. Life happens and gets in the way, you just have to work around it. If someone wants to be with their long distance BF or GF enough/or they love them enough, they will move to where the other person is and quit the long distance thing. Those people who have relationships over the internet or out of state "just because" are probably wasting their time. Long distance relationships wont last if there isnt commitment.
2016-03-19 09:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋