We have dated for 5 yrs and I told him I was not interested in sex with a man who could not committ. He was really angry and said he didnt care and to get out.
I am tired of this. I have dont a lot for him and am just fed up. I cannot see sustaining a relationship with someone who is dragging their feet and living in the past. He is still hung up on his ex wife after 6 yrs. She is re married and has totally moved on.
What should I do to help myself move on?
2007-05-21 05:41:00 · 21 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just move on... surely he doesn't love you. just tell yourself you love yourself too much to go though this. you should never let anyone treat you that way.
good luck xx
2007-05-21 05:48:22 · answer #1 · answered by phyco bunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for doing the right thing, and that is not to let yourself to be used by someone who just wants the benefits of a relationship without the commitment He evidently knows you love him and right now feels sure you will not really leave him. If he really loves you, in time he will see things your way. If he doesn't then your reason to move on is because you feel and know you deserve better than to be second best to an ex wife. In the mean time, you need to stand firm and not call him, he needs to see that you are serious in order for him to have an incentive to commit. Otherwise, you will risk wasting another 5 years. Just know, it is never easy to get over a relationship, but time will help you. The pain you feel today is what you need to feel in order for a happier tomorrow. I do hope it all works out for you!.
2007-05-21 12:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being with anyone, where you have been the only one committed to growth in the relationship for 5 years is a mistake. It is certainly no reason to spend another minute worrying what could have been different.
You can only control yourself, and there is no way that you could make him "get over" his past. Now that this is your past, you have to put it behind you.
Take a few weeks BY YOURSELF, and don't be looking back. You would not want to relive this experience with another guy, this time with yourself stuck in the past. Then, go meet someone else, and never mention him again.
Don't get hung up on "needing someone...anyone", wait till you meet someone who appreciates being around you, and wants a future. Learn from this experience. Good Luck.
2007-05-21 18:32:04 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your better than him start their you realized that you want a relationship not be his toy.. If he doesnt have a commitment after5 years he never will anyway. And for him to throw you out because you wouldnt have sex when he wanted it shows what kind of man he really is.
Focus on you look for qualities in a relationship you want. Look back at your bf bad qualities seperate the 2 i guarrantee you wont find those again because you will be cautious.
You deserve to be treated with respect honesty trust communication, honor passion and someone that loves everything about you not just in your bed.... And when he decides or tries to come crawling back, just let him now how much of a good thing he missed out in life when you were told to find the door and get out... good luck girl.
2007-05-21 12:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by GA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That guy is not right for you and you know it, so dump him! Sounds like he's using you. If he is not respecting you or care about you like a real relationship for five years like it should be, DUMP HIM! Wants you to get out because you won't have sex with him, that is outrageous! He doen't care about you, just himself. Imagine if you guys were married, he will be pushing you around and making you like a sex slave, abusing you mentaling (he is already) and maybe physically. You wouldn't be happy would you if you were married to a guy like that??! For five years he should be wanting to settle down and want to make you happy, by marrying you, to be with you (not just for sex), if he doen't see that, DUMP HIM! Get a good man, a way better man that will support you about marriage, make you happy (that's what living for each other is about) and make you feel proud for who you are (not disgraced), respects you by being commit (he see something in you, wants to have kids and live a happy life), that many guys that are way better than that, WAY BETTER and you know it! Tell him I don't see you moving ahead or getting married, and I'm finding a better man and thank him for all the good times (he'll realize what he missing, a good women who has given him so much and takes very little) and for making you realize this before it was too late (actually getting married)!!!
So, if you are ready and it must be hard, find someone esle, otherwise you going to live for this guy, and not for your self. If you stay with him, he probably keep doing to same things to you. That's not a lover, that's a for five year boyfriend that isn't mature enough for you! So, please dump him, get a BETTER MAN! Make your family proud who supports you and loves you for who you are! Good Luck and God Bless!
2007-05-21 13:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by scorpiontiger00 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey, if you dont want to have sex, and threaten to withold it unless he marries you, id kick you out too. Maybe you are really cool, and a lot of fun, but so is my sister, you know what i mean? Sex is a big part of a relationship, especially to a guy, and if you do a thing like that, well, its not what he's looking for. Sure, he didnt handle it at all well, but maybe its for the best, stop wasting everyones time and move on.
2007-05-21 12:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should spend more time with your girlfriends and family. Pursue hobbies/interests to keep you active and your mind busy. For example, you can start a dance class, volunteer for a cause you support, start exercising etc. Just don't sit at home by the phone, depressed and moping. This man obviously does not respect you if a condition for you to be in his home is have sex. If 5 years have gone by and he is not ready to commit, he'll never be ready! You deserve better, girl. Go out and get it! Good luck to you!!!!
2007-05-21 12:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just separated from my wife after nearly 4 1/2 years of marriage---it was a total of 8 years for the relationship. My advice simple: Find someone else, it'll help ease the pain. It's helping me.
2007-05-21 12:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by michael s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang out with your girlfriends!!! That's what they are for! To keep you from hanging out with losers like your (hopefully) ex! What a jerk! Girlfriend, that should have been enough for you to move on!
Get your girls:
Watch some Tyler Perry movies or go to a bar and have some fun dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just hang out!
2007-05-21 12:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave this loser. Go out and live your life. It may hurt at first, but it sounds as though this guy will hurt you even more down the line if he is acting like this now.
2007-05-21 12:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by Strawberry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just move on. Life isn't a bowl of cherries, and when you've wasted 5 years with this jerk, it won't be easy to move on. After all, he hasn't moved on from his ex, so try not to be like him. Be like HER.
2007-05-21 12:43:33 · answer #11 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋