Please help with this wedding chaos, I'm out of ideas?

Question

First problem: the hotel I booked has booked 4 other weddings that night so we (ie. family, friends) are unable to hang out at the bar there and there really isn't that many good places to go after. Now I have NO clue what to do after.
Second: my fat ***** mother in law got my fiance to move the time of our wedding to 4:30 and the reception is at 6 leaving us zero time for pictures, and the ***** is still complaining. Again, I'm at a loss. Suggestions are badly needed. I'm so stressed out I'm about to cry and vomit at the same time here. Thanks for your input, you have no idea how much it is appreciated.

Thank you all so much, I'm not girly or anything and I did want to elope to begin with. The invitations are already done so I can't change the time. Good answers to all, much appreciated. I think it's time for a zanex and some time to get my head back on straight cause this woman is driving me literally insane!

Answer 1

If your fiance isn't able to say no to his mother and tell her that you are the bride and its the bride and grooms wedding, not hers, are you expecting miracles AFTER the wedding? You and your fiance need to have some time to discuss your frustration at this change and he needs to talk to his mother about her issues. Even if she thinks the color theme is wrong and the time is wrong and the date is wrong, for goodness sake it's YOUR wedding, NOT HERS. She keeps to keep her trap shut and her son is the one who needs to politely tell her to do so. A wedding is supposed to be a bride's day and your mother-in-law causing so much stress and anxiety ahead of time is really bad, tell your fiance he needs to have a talk with her (or at the very lease the two of you need to have a talk with her) and politely explain to her that she is causing you all kinds of anxiety which is not needed right now. Good luck to you and God Bless your marriage.

Answer 2

Can you do the afterparty at the pool instead of the bar? You will still have access to the liqour. Perhaps if your hotel comps you for the honeymoon suite like many do hold it there. Where are you? It would be easier to think of places if we knew that. Going someplace farther might not be as hard as you think because the responsible thing to do is have cars on standby anyway for guests who drink too much. You don't want anybody remebering your wedding because of the DWI they got that night ; )

take all the pictures that don't include your hubby before the ceremony while you are still fresh. Keep in mind too that if your wedding over at 5 (take it from a chronic guest, nobody wants to sit through a ceremony more than 45 mins long anyway) you still have an hour before reception begins to take pics and the bride and groom usually don't show up exactly when the party starts anyway, they wait at least 30 mins because people won't be arriving perfectly on time and you want your grand entrance not to be missed.

Answer 3

If you're not supersititious, do the pictures the day BEFORE. What we did was actually take all of the bridal party pics beforehand, so we had that many less to take care of on the day. I also had all my portraits done the day before. It also was the perfect trial run for makeup and hair, plus the veil and shoes!

Since I'm superstitious I did wait until after to take the pictures of all of us together and the one thing I tell everyone is make sure your photographer has a list of exactly what shots you want if you have any special ones, which ones you might want to skip, if you have some, and especially: how much time they have.

We sent everyone on to the reception with my mother, who is very commanding and in charge, and told them to start eating and having fun, we'd be along shortly. The photographer then took TWO HOURS and none of us were confident enough to go "That's enough, we're missing our own wedding reception!"

As for where to hang out, I've always preferred picking a hotel room and crashing there anyway.

Answer 4

Win, lose, or draw, this woman is the mother of the man you are going to marry and she deserves your respect. You are going to spend dozens of holidays with her so you had best decide right now if you want to be miserable for the next couple of decades or if you can learn to get along with her. The only person who is going to be hurt with your anger is you.
If the hotel books that number of weddings then they have a person on staff to help organize things. Go to her and see what options you have for your family and friends after the reception. If another wedding party is taking over the bar for the evening, they can open a dining area for you with bar service and some sort of music. This is only fair as your guests are paying guests of the hotel, too. (This is assuming your guests are from out of town and won't simply be going home after the reception.)
Wedding ceremonies don't normally take 90 minutes, so there should be time for photos. Talk to your photographer and see how much time he/she needs for the number of formal shots you want after the ceremony. If it is well organized, and you don't have 20 attendants, you should be able to manage that portion in 30-45 minutes. Forewarn all the attendants and family members that time for photography is very limited and they need to pay attention to the photographer or they could be left out of the portraits. If you and your new husband are a little late to the reception, the sky will not fall. People will mingle and they will wait.
Take a deep breath. It is your wedding, but it is a ceremony with a party attached. If you can't relax and enjoy it, it doesn't seems worth all the stress.

Answer 5

For pictures, I would seriously consider doing them beforehand. I have a wedding photographer in the family, and he says he always tries to convince people to do at least some, if not all of their pictures before the ceremony. Why? Because everyone looks fresh and ready to go! No tears, no running makeup, plus it's much harder to get everyone together after than before. You can get ready and get a quiet spot for just the two of you to see each other for the first time, then start snapping!

For the hotel, call them and ask them for advice. They should surely be able to help you think of something.

Mother-in-laws can drive you crazy. I'm sorry that's happening to you! The best suggestion I have for when she starts complaining about something is just to smile and say "That is what we thought we would like best, and it is too late to make any changes now. I think it will work out!" Then you complain later to your friends and fiance! And tell your fiance that everything is set now, and there can be no more changes.

You'll get through it and hopefully will remember just the good things!

Answer 6

Rent an extra room at the hotel. Have your flowers there before the reception for some early photos.. Use this room for make-up, some photos. With the time line you are suggesting you'll have about an hour for photos before the reception. I'm a caterer and most ceremonys last between 20 minutes and half an hour maximum.Then have a bar and food set-up in your "hospitality room" for a post reception party. The food could be as simple as delivered pizza or something catered either by the hotel or an outside caterer.

Answer 7

As far your pictures go, try to do as many of the wedding party and family photos BEFORE the ceremony, that will help take away the stress of having very little time between the reception and ceremony, also let the person conducting the ceremony know about the shortened time schedule, they may be able shave a little time off the ceremony saving you some time there as well.
If you are using a limo service to take you to the hotel after the ceremony than book them for AT LEAST half to one hour prior to to when you need them, it's a small price to pay to make sure you went be left standing at the church waiting.
As for the after party, perhaps you should look into extending the time that you have the reception room at the hotel, or go with the suggestion of a charter or limo bus depending on how many people you are taking with you to the after party.

Answer 8

I would definitely suggest finding another place to hang out afterwards. I had an early morning wedding, afternoon reception, and then we went back to my in-laws house, rented a tent, catered some appetizers, and had alcohol there and continued to party till all hours of the night.
Second - don't sweat the picture taking. We had some of the pictures taken during th reception, its not that much of an inconvenience and you should not stress out about these things - it will all work out in the end.
Good Luck - and just relax and enjoy your day!

Answer 9

Congrats, I'm getting married to, and I would do exactly what you want to do. This is your day, hopefully she already had hers. If not, to bad so sad for her. Let your fiancee no that he is marrying you not his mother in a nice way, and if he still wants to let her control the wedding then tell him to marry her. As far as after the wedding ask the hotel for ideas or check with the community where your getting married for some after hour events. Don't stress it's the one day for you to enjoy.

Answer 10

Hold on the stress. make the best out of it. You can make it as miserable as you want it to be, but you really need to concentrate in being rejoiced about gettig married to the man of your dreams.

Be happy and remember, the wedding is not about the pictures and the centerpices...is about the couple. Many people get married at the same venue at the same time, if you want exclusivity, you would have to pay big bucks, so make the best out of it and be happy, please.

Good luck