I work with this woman who patronises everyone for their behaviour and personal life.
For instance i am friends with a guy at work and he is married and so am i but thats all we are - friends - and she made a big deal of it saying that she felt sorry for his wife (even though me and his wife are now good friends and going on holiday together next month leaving the hubbies and kids at home!). She also gossiped about me and him all the time and made people beleive that we actually were having an affair!...
I have just found out that she (also married) has been seeing another colleague of ours... Info came from the horses mouth (his) so to speak!
What a complete hypocrite...
Do I
A) Laugh everytime I see her and never utter a word but satisfy myself with a quiet chuckle..
B) Openly ask her if she has been seeing him and tell her that she is being talked about behind her back..
or
C) Tell as many people as possible to get back at her for making my life hell?
2007-05-21 04:24:13 · 27 answers · asked by JustJem 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would choose : Laugh everytime I see her and never utter a word but satisfy myself with a quiet chuckle..
but i would just laugh at her (out loud) but not utter a word to her - let people talk - dont get involved - just laugh at her and enjoy the moment - as the table will always turn...
2007-05-21 04:30:01 · answer #1 · answered by =) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be satisfied in the knowledge that YOU know you are doing nothing wrong.
Feel sorry for her that she needs to gossip about your life. She must be very dissapointed in her own to find so much pleasure in trying to trash yours.
I have a theory, and it's just a theory of mine. I believe that the very thing that people become overly critical of and judge in others is very thing that they will eventually become. It seems here that this may be the case. What goes around, comes around.
If she is seeing this man, she will eventually be found out and there will be a scene....You may be there to witness it. A wise person (you) will not say a word. Rejoicing in the pain of other's bad decisions will eventually come back and haunt you.
If you want to get the point across, invite this guy's wife out to lunch with you and make a POINT of either having her come to the office so this woman can see you having lunch with her OR, make a point of telling HIM in front of this woman that you are having lunch with his wife. Miss Gossip-pants will get the message.
Saying anyting to her directly will just confirm in her mind that you ARE having a fling with this guy. It's best to not even acknowledge that she has an opinion.
If she continues to make a big deal about it, I would very quietly and privately tell her that you are friends with the FAMILY and if she is uncomfortable with that she should take a hard look at herself and figure out why. Tell her that you appreciate her concern but it is nothing for her to be concerned about. Suggest that she focus on work instead of your personal life. You could also use that opportunity to KINDLY let her know that "the horses mouth" has not been shy about letting slip about THEIR little fling. That might shut her up too.
That all being said, be VERY careful about this situation. Perception IS reality. If you are friendly with this man, and this woman has even SUGGESTED that you are more than causual friends, people are going to believe it. They will be LOOKING for reasons to believe it. So make sure you conduct yourself completely professionally at ALL times in the office. Do not let yourself be found alone with this man, do not have extended conversations with him. Keep it strictly professional. I would go so far as to say, don't even go to lunch together. If you do, take along some other people with you.
People LOVE a good rumor. Don't give them a reason to believe this nasty person has any real truth to share.
2007-05-21 04:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A quiet chuckle to yourself do you know why ............
You are better than this and better than her.
What goes around comes around I say so it will come along and bite her on the A8se and when is does you can sit back and chuckle to yourself.
If you have found out then its just a matter of time before the horse so to speak says something to someone else ............she is going to look soooo stupid.
Dont let it look like sour grapes she can get herself in the pooo all on her own.
Rise above it all , you re better than this. Sattisfy yourself with a chuckle everytime she walks by.
Ps if people have to talk about your life for entertainment ...how boring must their own lives be .
Good luck Hun
2007-05-22 20:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Byte 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think A is the best option, but actually just give her a big smile every time you see her, that way you can pretend you're being friendly but it will still annoy her. Don't let her know she's getting to you or she'll get worse. And don't get into a discussion with her - it could turn into a fight and then she'll be out to get you. You don't want that as she obviously has no morals and might really go to town.
So pretend to be friendly, but just be extra annoyingly friendly so she finds it irritating but won't have anything to complain about. Good luck!
Also, make sure you warn all of your collegues that you're close to that she's doing this, you need back up.
2007-05-21 04:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Velouria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best to say nothing. The laughing idea is a good one. You aren't giving her an inch, but she's probably wondering why you are laughing at her. This situation could become worse if it interferes with your work. Best not to be friends of people of the opposite sex at work. Being friendly is good, but having a friendship can only cause problems.
2007-05-21 04:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only Allah (swt) knows who's a hypocrite and who is not. He knows what is in our hearts. Also, its not our job to judge each other on that, only advise. How can someone who calls others hypocrites be so sure that he is free from hypocrisy himself? Salaams
2016-04-01 00:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would choose A. If you confront her then she may well decide that the rumours have come from you and then make your life even more hell... What about your friend, he and his missus may suffer more because of you spilling the beans on this gossiper. I would stay quiet and know yourself and chuckle, it will probably drive her nuts wondering what you are smirking about !
2007-05-21 05:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would either stay quiet or tell everyone. I can't quite decide. I would like to think that I would quietly amuse myself with the information, but at the same time, revenge would be nice!
She's obviously jealous anyway, and as long as you know the truth, stuff her!
2007-05-21 04:29:40 · answer #8 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God people like that make my blood boil, who the hell is she to talk about your relationship to others when she's doing the dirty. I have no patience for anyone who cheats on their partner, so i'd do something horrible....
...like next time you see her with her official husband say something like, oh is this your bit on the side i've heard so much about, oh its your husband, my mistake,....then wander off and let the chaos unfold...(think of it this way, its not fair on her husband, he deserves to find out)
2007-05-21 04:32:34 · answer #9 · answered by NOt me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time this wretched woman approaches you, quietly and coolly walk up to her with a dangerous grin and say "you know (lets say her name is patty) patty, you of all people would know about infedelity...i suggest you keep your mouth shut and mind your own business..by the way, how is frank?(the so called man she is having a relationship with) I heard you two are very close? thats good, its alwaays nice to hve friends"....hahah be extremely sarcastic and phony about it to...make the b**** uncomfortable, she deserves it! I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THIS TOO, you've got to put her in her place. she won't do it again.
2007-05-21 04:34:53 · answer #10 · answered by Nico 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋