we got back together after the birth but now its all gone bad again(not through anything i have done i hasten to add) anyhow i am a single dad bringing up 3 boys on my own ages 14,13 and 9 and have looked after them all thier lives and brough my 9 year old up since he was newborn. Now that things are awkward between me and my ex G/F(she is not the mother of my other 3 boys) I dont really want to be going round her house to see my baby son she has another 3 boys of her own and to be honest it gets on my nerves because they are loud and annoying and I want to spend some quality time with my new son and not have her crappy kids in my face, so I asked her if I could have my boy for the day so I could spend some time with him with my other boys too and she turned round and said,"He's to young to be out on his own", she means without her about, its not like i want him all week or something. how old is old enough for him to be with me and his brothers for the day..
2007-05-21 04:23:33 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
get a lawyer you have every right to see your son
2007-05-21 04:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry to hear of your problems, I have been a single (full time) Dad too and I know it's hard!
I suggest you try and patch things up. So sooon after the birth she must be highly emotional, and after only 2 months, her hormones are not settled yet.
Personally I suggest going around with some flowers, a nice card or something she likes/chocolate etc. And just say trhese are to appologise etc. Then you walk away, and ask her to phone you some time soon.
I'l bet she just wants some reassurance that you won't just walk away from her when the going gets tough.
Now you have legal rights to your chld, but try and sort it out in a friendly informal way first. Keep it friendly and chat to her each day, ask her how she feels, is she tired etc, and ask about your baby.
Try to sound interested and show that you still care. Don't get into any arguments, just say you can't be bothered with 'fighting'. And you would like it to work out, but don't put pressure on her.
If you REALLY can't work it out between you, there are legal channels you can go down.
If you see a solicitor, you can apply for PR, 'parental responsibility' and this will help you later if you should want to see the baby more.
(If YOU signed the birth register you already have this PR)!! If you havent done this yet I suggest you both go along to register the birth. If you sign you have the same rights as a married man, to the child.
ANYWAY I suggest trying to set up some sort of regular routine, whereby you have baby for an hour and take him to the park/shops or just for walks or to see your relatives, and then mum can have a rest! Try to speak as though you are thinking of her getting rest, or some sleep, or take baby out so she can get a 'nice hot bath' etc...
You know what makes her tick, just sit down and think about how you can word things to make her think you are putting her first, and baby. Which I'm sure you are doing anyway.
Above all, when you do see baby, make sure you keep baby nice and clean and happy. Send baby back with some nice new clothes or a SUITABLE toy or nappies etc.
Now, you should remember that mum must be tired, confused, possibly depressed, and busy with all the changes around her life, and her children adjusting to new baby is hard too. She may not be sure of what you want out of all this!
Hope it works out for you all.
2007-05-21 04:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by My name's MUD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is already old enough to be with you for the day, has been that way for a couple of months. She is playing games with you, and like most women is using the child to settle a score.
You need to contact a family law attorney and sue for visitation. Of course you will have to pay child support but that comes with the package. You will get court ordered visitation that she will have to comply with. When the child is with you, she doesn't have a right to tell you what you can and cannot do with it.
Sounds like you are a good dad, as is often the case the child would be better off with you.
2007-05-21 04:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really up to the mid wife and the mother when both feel happy about your spending time with the new born on your own and with your own children.
You could ask the mother when she would feel happy about letting you spend time with the new baby to build the relationship between all your sons and yourself.
See how it goes - just suggest fortnightly for 2 hours to begin with - then as the baby gets older and mother is happier to let the baby out of her site for a few hours longer you may be able to increase that to once a week for 4 hours etc, etc.
Good Luck and Good Wishes
2007-05-21 04:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jewel 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say if he is being bottle fed then he should be able to spend time with you. I cant actually see why you couldnt have him for the weekend if you have all the equipment he needs. My nephew used to see his dad every other saturday from birth to 2 months and then every other weekend from friday night till sunday night.
I can understand why she is reluctant to let him go (my baby is 8 weeks) but you are his dad and have a right to see him as do his brothers.
i have left my baby with my mum and sister in law and had no worries about doing so, if she is breastfeeding ask her to express! hope all works out well for you i know how you feel! x
2007-05-21 04:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by littlemissmuffett 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I agree with her about letting a 2month baby be going with you even if you are a good daddy. Sounds like if you two can't work things out together then you need to go to court to settle the fact that you are his dad and you want visitation rights , which will probably lead to you paying support which you should anyway.
2007-05-21 04:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she's just being a *****. 2 to 3 months is just fine for a couple of hours or even a full day. At that age they are the easiest, all they do is poop and eat. I hate women that are like that........it really gets me angry. My brother has two of them. The only reason they act like that is because they want him. Same thing goes here. Good Luck to you!! Sounds like you got a lot on your plate. You can do it!!
2007-05-21 04:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough now. I think she's going to continue to use your son as a weapon against you. I suggest you waste no time in hiring a good attorney, and going to court to formalize al legal custody and support agreement. Things like this get very messy, no matter how good your intentions might be.
2007-05-21 04:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ask if you can spend some time in her house with the baby or even go for a walk in the park with her and the baby as friends dont try and get back with her as she will stop you coming back round take it easy
2007-05-21 04:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by william l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you and your brother both had a baby with your girl friends at the same time! Guess your mama never taught you guys how to buy a condom.
"he is too young to be out on his own" How can being with his dad be "out on his own". As long as you can pack a bottle (of formula or breast milk) he is old enough to be out with daddy.
2007-05-21 04:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like she doesn't trust you to care for his needs.
He is young but you are his dad after all, do you have a new g/f, is that why she doesn't want the baby to go with you ?
Sit he down & explain you want some 1 to 1 time with the baby maybe suggest it weould give her a little bit of me time to.
Good luck, glad to see you haven't let go of your responsibilitys in a difficult time.
2007-05-21 04:34:07 · answer #11 · answered by K W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋