When I met my husband I had recently stopped sleeping with a man who was only sex. I never slept with him again once i met my husband but a month after my husband and i began sleeping together, i discovered i was pregnant. This issue came up and now my son is 15 months old and looks like my husband but sometimes I just want reassurance. My husband refuses to take the test. why and what do i do?
2007-05-21 03:45:22 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Were you married when your son was born? If you were, then the court automatically assumes that your husband is the father. I don't know that you could get a legal order for it unless you were divorcing.
As far as why he doesn't want to get it, I assume it is because he feels in his heart that he is his son. I am sure he would be heart broken if he found out otherwise. Sometimes it can be best to leave well enough alone.
2007-05-21 03:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Sheri H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's his wishes, but I think he's insane for not wanting to know if it was his or not, it would drive me mad not knowing for sure. I'm happily married, and when we decide to have a kid, I am having a DNA test done right when it's born. Not because I don't trust my wife, but just because I want the reassurance that it is my kid. My wife is fine with this and, really any woman who wasn't fine with it must have something to hide.
I believe that we should have mandatory DNA tests for every live birth in the US, and that you shouldn't be allowed to put a fathers name on the birth certificate without a DNA test confirming that it is true. That way, there would be no debate or hurt feelings, because it's mandated by the state. It would also make the cost of DNA testing go way down.
For example, if a couple had a baby, and the DNA test said that the husband was not the father, they would have to leave the father's name on the birth certificate blank until they tested the real father, or the husband adopted the child.
2007-05-22 06:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he loves your son unconditionally and is afraid the truth is he is not the bio father. That could open Pandora's box and change your family dynamic in a horrible way! Do you really want your son being passed back & forth every other week end? You would be putting him in the hands of what is a stranger to him! It would cause your son much stress and confusion! Sounds like you have a strong family unit so why rock the boat? Think of what's best for your son, not what you want or think you need. I can see where this would be difficult, not knowing, but your son comes first. What makes a dad anyway? It's not DNA I can promise you that! You need to let this go....I see the potential for lots of heartache if he's not the bio dad.
Good luck and God bless!
2007-05-21 03:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lakin J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing. Just say he is his son. There's no reason to force him into this. It may change the way he feels about the baby. Just drop it. He knew that you were with someone when you got together and that's that. If he won't take the test, it's probably because he's worried it will cause tons of problems with this baby and the other guy. Just say he is your husbands and that's that.
2007-05-21 03:49:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say he has already fallen in love with the child and it would break his heart if he found out he wasn't the daddy. Of course you could get a lawyer and get a judge to order a test. that may breakup your relationship. That's why this day in time protected is the only option until marriage, you take the risk of getting pregnant or even worse an std.
2007-05-21 03:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Hate to say it (because if I were you I'd really need to know) but you may need to respect your husband's wishes on this.
Does your husband treat him as if he is absolutely his own? Do you want to risk losing that? Is that fair to your son?
You need to believe that your husband is the father. Even if he isn't, he is the only father your son will ever know. To find out differently would only open up an inconsequential can of worms.
Best,
DN
2007-05-21 03:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let it go. Your husband is willing and able to be a father then let him be. I don't blame your husband at all. Just let things be and be happy that your husband is accepting of the situation. It takes more than DNA to make a daddy!!
2007-05-21 03:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by Oh me oh my...♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His refusal is to keep from creating a rift between him and the child if it turns out to be not his. Ignorance is bliss and it will be best for your son to drop the whole thing and never bring it up. your husband loves you both and just wants to keep the family stable.
2007-05-21 03:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by Reginald K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i guess he doesn't want the test done because he is afraid your son may not be his... a reasonable fear. But you can have a court order made so he HAS to get one done... although that will probably put a lot of strain on your marriage. maybe you should talk to him about it and tell him that if he has the test done, he'll never have to read the results, you just need to know.
2007-05-21 03:52:26 · answer #9 · answered by NewMommy!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could have the other man take the test. If it was just the two and he isn't proven to be the father, then you know your husband is.
2007-05-21 03:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Queen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋