My parents have been separated for almost three years now. Both of them have moved on and have significant others now, and my parents still get along great. I will be getting married in just over a year. I was a little hesitant to invite their significant others to the wedding. My parents together have reassured me that at the wedding, they will be sitting together at the wedding (there has been problems with this in my family before, which is why I was hesitant to agree).
My mom is in a long distance relationship, however, and he is not the most well-off man. I am afraid that either they will break up, or something will happen that he will not be able to come. My mom is very uncomfortable around my dad's girl. If something were to happen and moms date couldn't come, would it be out of the question to ask my dads girl not to come in order to not upset my mom and to keep the peace? If my mom is upset, I will be too.
I would ask mom's bf to not come if somehow dads girl can't come too.
2007-05-21 03:11:29 · 20 answers · asked by Kayleigh♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you're not going to invite the significant others, you should make that decision now, firmly, ahead of time. It's extremely rude to extend and invitation with a caveat -- "If John comes, Julie can attend too. But if John can't be there, I'm sorry, but Julie has to stay home."
If you're worried about the peace, ask that both significant others be left out, and hold that line right from the start. But remember how much resentment that is going to cost you down the road.
2007-05-21 03:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jarien 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
hey this is your DAY and you have all the right to do what you think will make it special. You said so yourself that you will get upset when your mom gets upset, and it is possible that things can get out of hand when there is no acceptance and comfortability yet between your parents and their significant others. So why risk it? Do you think you can go back and rewind so things that might happen won't happen again?
It's your wedding day. The fact that you're here asking this question only proves you to be in a very serious dilemma. If you are not comfortable and feel that things will get worse, then trust your instincts. They're your parents and surely they will understand. Explain nicely that in your most important day, you just want the 2 of them and not their current partners. Tell them that this is the best gift they can ever give you on this day -- just for one day.
Talk to them, try to tell them about your worries and your fears, Make them feel that by doing what you are asking of them will be highly and greatly appreciated.
Don't stress yourself too much, I promise you, they will understand.
2007-05-21 03:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by pinkdot 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is your right to not invite certain people to your wedding, but is it really worth making your parents uncomfortable at the wedding. Let your dad bring his girlfriend and let your mom bring her boyfriend or someone else, because then they will have someone to talk to and dance with (outside of family members).
Hopefully both of their significant others will see that your parents still get along and go with the flow.
2007-05-21 03:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by Important 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just invite your mom and dad and that it it. It is your big day and who needs the drama, I would think that if you invite all of them they would all behave properly out of respect to you. You should have a lunch or meeting with just your mom and dad to see what would be the best situation for everyone involved. I am sure just because your mom don't like your dad's girlfriend that is not a reason to exclude her. I am sure they could get along for the duration of your wedding/reception.
Good Luck and much happiness in your Wedding.
2007-05-21 03:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by justwondering 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I celebrated our 10th anniversary with a wedding last year. It was so relaxed and so much fun simply because everyone there had something to do with our life together over the past 10 years. If there are people you don't feel comfortable inviting to your wedding, don't invite them! This is your day to celebrate with the people you love and the people who really love you. Trust me, your parents will understand.
2007-05-21 03:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by ihfoany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is generally accepted that to not invite your parents' signficant others is bad etiquette. You should discuss your concerns with your parents and ultimately give them the opportunity to do whatever they think is right. If they choose to come with their others, then they are responsible for keeping themselves well-behaved.
One other thing to consider: if you do NOT give your parents the option of bringing their significant others, how will that make them feel? Odds are likely that they will be upset about THAT, and you'll STILL have upset parents. Letting them invite whomever they want puts the burden of reponsibility on them to take care of themselves. That is likely a burden you don't want for yourself during this important and stressful time. Let them do what they want, and don't let yourself be concerned about that. You have more important things to concern yourself with.
Congratulations and good luck!
2007-05-21 03:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since your parents have been separated so long, they just as anyone else should be able to bring a "date". As adults and as your parents they should behave appropriately at your wedding. I don't feel it would be appropriate for you to ask them not to bring their significant others in this situation. It seems to me that you are worrying to much about this situation. Relax, everything will be fine!
2007-05-21 03:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are grown ups, you don't get to pick their dates to any event, including your wedding, unless you have been abused by one of them. Asking your father to uninvite his date is extremely rude and shows a distinct lack of upbringing. Your reasoning for wanting to reserve the right to uninvite is not valid. Your mom needs to grow up, so what if her man can't make it. This isn't about her and her date it's about her daughter and future son in law.
2007-05-21 06:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you invite her, he is party of the deal and she has a right to bring him if he is her partner. Either accept him and invite her with guest or keep this category open and you will be back here asking why you lost your mom too.
2007-05-21 03:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-01-10 12:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋