My wife babysits a very slow-for-his-age child.....what should we do?

Question

The child is over 4 and can hardly talk (slurrs his words real bad out of laziness, not handicap), he's constantly parked in front of the tv, and still uses a sippy-cup. He can't hardly eat with a fork, and his parents still feed him instead of making him do it himself. This isn't because the child is mentally challenged, just because of being the youngest of 5 kids, the parents must subconsciously not want him to grow up too fast. They still talk baby talk to him saying "Uv oo" instead of 'I love you'. I think that's the root of his speech issues.

*My question is: should we be morally obligated to try to work with him and help him along, or is it the parent's choice? Do we park him in front of the tv when we're babysitting like THEY do at home, or should we recognize the problem and do what they don't? We aren't a Business or Pre-School, just a favor thing.

We have a toddler who can drink out of a real cup, and this child can't do that, and they are over 4 yrs old!

Thought

Answer 1

the thing that makes many people improve is challenging them
I would suggest not saying anything to the parents, unless they ask, as it will cause hurt feelings, but just play with the child, and keep them busy with activities they like. he will improve, esp as he gets into a school age, and has more peers, he will improve quickly as to fit in.
Personally, I do not like my 19 month old to watch tv, and we got rid of satelight when she was born, of course she does sometimes watch a show with us from our collection.
but for the most part we keep her busy with coloring, with teddy bears, and non-electric toys.If able to do that, that would be helpful.

Answer 2

I think you have to do whatever you can to help this child. Also, it is likely that the child has other issues other than just parents that aren't teaching him. If he is the youngest of 5 children, then he should just accidentally be learning things from his older siblings. Also, I doubt that he slurs his words because he's lazy. He probably has a speech problem. I'm not sure what I would do in this situation, but you might want to carefully discuss this with the parents. Maybe they are aware that there is a problem and just haven't discussed it with you or maybe they just don't realize there is a problem. Maybe you should find out if he is having his normal well visits with a Dr. I would probably just mention that you are concerned about his progress and would like to help him with cooperation from the parents. Regardless of what the parents are for just sticking him in front of the TV and not addressing the problems, this child needs some help and it seems you may be the only one that can help him right now. I am not suggesting that you stop keeping him, but I'm guessing if they had to put the child in a regular daycare, a daycare would force the parents to address the problems. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I would do whatever I can to help this child progress. If you just let it happen, the child will not benefit and will forever have problems. I'm not saying put books in fromnt of them and push them to read, but help him with speech and normal activities for his age. You could help him pronounce words better, hold a real cup, help him with letting him eat by himself. Once you do this for a while, he will want to do it too. When he starts to do it himself, his parents will follow suit. Every child should be allowed to excell as much as possible. Please do not allow this child to fall behind any further.
PS- I have personal exp with this. I have three children and I used to watch a little boy with parents just as you mentioned. I let the little boy learn on the same level as my son and he was doing so much better in a few weeks. His parents were suprised and started following suit. After watching the little boy for over 6 months, he went from diaper, sippy cup, and hand feeding to potty trained, real cup, and fork feeding. He was only 3 years old at the time. Good luck!!

Answer 4

I think you are morally obligated to work with him....you've accepted the responsibility of caring for a child, which I feel should go beyond just supervision.

I think you already know the solution here. TURN OFF THE TUBE ! Get the kid involved in something hands on. The TV should be used as a reward for good behavior. Educational programs should be the only thing he is allowed to watch, since he is so far behind. You will see dramatic shift in mood/temper tantrums.....however, this is necessary. Eventually he will begin to understand how important it is to be able to verbalize your feelings about something. Communication is the first thing you should help to improve. Read to him. If he mispronounces something...dont' say "no it's a doggie,,,not a dioooga".....instead say "that's right doggie!" Always use positive reinforcement.

Human beings only DO things for two reasons....by "DO" I mean actions/decisions including the "choice to learn".....The only two reasons are -rewards and -punishments. With children rewards come first, and punishments second.

That being said, he is choosing not to learn "laziness", because he doesn't yet fully understand the benefits of communication, or there hasn't been any apparent drawbacks to not being able to communicate at a 4 yr old level. Basically his parents are learning baby language instead of him learning to talk correctly.

Don't try to learn his language...if he mispronounces something. Let's say he asks for a cookie. But completely mispronounces cookie...as cukcuk. Pretend you don't understand several times, until you can tell he is frustrated and the tears are starting to form.....Then respond with...Oh....you want a Cookie !??...he might repeat cuk cuki again...just say "yes !that's right COOOOKIE !" then give him the cookie. You've just given him both forms of human motivation. Reward=he finally got the cookie, punishment=It took him several minutes to get it because he realized he wasn't pronouncing it correctly. Repeat this several times and cuk cuk will most certainly morph into cookie very quickly. Sugar is a great motivator, and as a parent I will admit that I am not beyond a little bribery...as long as we keep it healthy.

Baby talk is out ! as you've already said. It's time to start speaking with him normally. He will catch on if it is re-enforced at home as well. Really this needs to begin with the parents. Try speaking to them about it, and voice your concerns. Let them know that you think he is getting left behind, and tell them your plan to help him improve.

Answer 5

Sadly, we have been brainwashed since we young children to falsely believe A Females is to be at home barefoot, Pregnant and taking car of the household chores. I agree, It's Not fair.

Answer 6

Could you actually allow this behaviour and neglect to go on by parking him in front of the TV? If you feel that you can let a child suffer by doing this... you have the anwer to your question.

Answer 7

my two year old can talk better than that and drinks out of a real cup

work with him for a while and if it doesnt work call CPS cause what these parents are doing is a form of neglet and mental abuse

Answer 8

I think that when your baby sitting you need to help him do things like make him eat on his own. do activities that would make him talk to you. dont put him in front of the tv.

Answer 9

Let me guess he cant pronounce cheesh and hausey. You should yell Goise at him and keep him from going upstairs. This sort of irony is contagious!

Answer 10

Turn the TV off, and work with him.....maybe you should say something to his mom and dad.