There is a young single mother in my street who is perhaps eighteen, I am guessing. I know she works hard in a factory but it is obvious that she is not very well off, but her child, a young boy of maybe five or six, is always well presented and is polite for his age.
I often find myself walking home at the same time that she is coming back from the supermarket, struggling with many bags of shopping as she does not drive and I presume has not the money for a taxi.
I want to ask her if she needs help with her bags, as I walk by her front door often and so it wouldn't be out of my way. However I am worried that she might take this as a slight on her abilities and independence; is there a way I can gauge her possible reaction without risking a telling off?
Thanks!
2007-05-21 02:08:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't think so. She might be thrilled with that offer. If she isn't, well you are a decent human being for at least offering. She'll only say no once.
2007-05-21 02:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please DO offer to help her. If she's a civilized person, she will appreciate it. She is trying hard, teaching her boy to be polite, and it seems from your description that she is probably a good hard-working woman and mother.
Understand that most people that ARE trying hard for themselves will appreciate being helped.
Perhaps she is one of the proud, miserable women that will refuse help because she is stubbornly independent to the point of being rather stupid. If so, that's HER problem. It should not preclude your offering to help.
If she turns down your offer, just tell her that it's fine, tell her very clearly that she CAN change her mind anytime and you will be very happy to help her any time.
Make sure you smile and be friendly, no matter what her reaction is. She may be frightened and think you are hitting on her. Assure her that you are merely offering to help. You might consider finding one of those little folding drag-carts that are used a lot in cities-- and offering it to her. Tell her you don't need it, so she can borrow it or have it, NO strings attached.
By doing the right thing here you will make a new friendship.
2007-05-21 02:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by fiddlesticks9 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-25 21:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking her? Do you want some of that sweet lady love? Or are you just a gent who values a good deed? Don't bother asking if all you want is something in return other than a bit of feelgood, rather than a good feel.
Either way, just ask mate! One of the few things us guys can still do and actually feel good about! You don't have to be religious or anything to do good deeds mate. I regularly do stuff like that for people I don't know, why? Becuase it's just a decent thing to do. You may even get tea and biccies as a thank you.
If she tells you off, she's not worth your time, besides, you can still feel good knowing you would have carried them if she wasn't such an apallingly ungrateful person.
2007-05-21 02:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by Steven N 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is ask. I've been told off when I was a cashier at a supermarket by an old guy when I went to put his grocery bags in his little trolley and he really let me have it too!!!! That doesn't stop me from asking someone as a courtesy if they need a hand. So I think you should just ask her and if she says no, then no harm done. I find it sweet and thoughtful that you would be thinking about this.
2007-05-21 02:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by sydney77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How wonderful to know there are still gentlemen out there!
When you approach her explain yourself, "Hi, you know we walk home at the same time and I often see you struggling with your bags.. etc.. do you mind if I help you by carrying some of your bags to your door." -That leaves the impression that you don't expect to be 'invited in', and are only offering to help.
She will either say yes, or no. If she says no then graciously accept that.
2007-05-21 02:29:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sure she would be happy to see you offer. Most women don't take offence to a man asking for them to carry bags, but are somewhat flattered and certainly impressed. Even if she refuses she will do so politely, but I really see no reason why she would read anything into. Smile and use a casual tone, don't ask her as if it were a big deal
2007-05-21 12:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it dreadful you have to hesitate before helping someone?
in my day, we were reared to help adults carry bags, give up your seat on the bus to an older person or a lady; hold doors open for others...where have our manners gone?
You could carry my bags any time, you sound lovely.
Just be casual about offering help, and on't be put off if you get a refusal first time, keep it casual, say, "Can I carry any of those for you?" keep it simple.
this being the age it is, she will no doubt suspect your motives, but full marks to you for trying!
2007-05-21 02:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a very nice gesture!!
I say try asking her if she would like some help. At least she probably also sees you all the time so she may feel comfortable to say yes rather than a complete stranger she has never seen come up and asks.
2007-05-21 02:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just offer i am sure she would be happy for some help after all she had a baby when she was 12 and so although she is probably very mature that doesnt mean she wouldnt like some help with heavy grocery bags!
2007-05-21 04:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you politely offer to help her with her bags, there is no reason she will tell you off. "Ma'am, you look like you're having trouble with these bags. May I carry your bags for you?"
If she is rude, then it'll just clarify the situation and show that it wasn't worth it in the first place to try to help her.
2007-05-21 13:43:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋