One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jon says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
Listen; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.
There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor and you get Club card points".
So Jon collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:"You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks". That evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology was, Jon began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
2007-05-21 00:19:58 · 36 answers · asked by vixen xx 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture
for good measure. Jon hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would
happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits
the results.
The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better....
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
2007-05-21 00:20:08 · update #1
good un,as they say in thier motto every little helps.
2007-05-21 00:24:40 · answer #1 · answered by steven e 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very Good One Star
2007-05-21 00:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats good 11/10
2007-05-21 00:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I was amused, but I'd use Photoshop or a similar program to straighten out the verticals in the window frames.
2016-05-18 21:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by bridgett 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent!
2007-05-21 02:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by wally_zebon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still very amusing on a Monday evening!! Wish I'd read it this morning - I might have had a better day !!
2007-05-21 08:39:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one deserves a star! Well done your jokes are definitely improving!
2007-05-21 00:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by kchick8080 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man that has got to be the most number of stars ive ever seen.
2007-05-21 06:12:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always said tescos want to take over the world and this just proves it!!!!
2007-05-21 00:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by louie3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to funny, but it brought a smile on my face.
2007-05-21 00:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋