Is it okay just to call the church wedding off?

Question

My boyfriend and I told my mom my intention to get married I church, but I’m changing my mind, and I want a civil wedding instead because we wanted to save money. But my mom wouldn’t approve of it. She wants me to have a church wedding but she might be critical of how it will turn out because she’s fond of criticizing other people

Answer 1

Sit down and explain to her how you and your boyfriend feel.

If she still insists on the church wedding, insist that she pay for the event. You can save your money for the actual marriage (house, romantic getaways, etc.).

In the end, she will back whatever decision you make. She's your Mom...she will get over it!

Congrats and Good Luck!

Answer 2

Fortunately, you're marrying your fiancee... not your mom! If she's a loving and supportive parent, she will eventually get over the fact that you aren't abiding by her wishes. I went through the exact same scenario with my own mother because we went the civil route instead of spending thousands on a church wedding. I reminded her that she had an opportunity to have the wedding of her dreams when SHE got married, but MY wedding would be the way I wanted it. She was upset initially, but she got over it. The main thing is this: Your wedding day is YOUR day and you will remember it forever. You'll tell your children about it. Do you want it to be something you're proud of, or do you want to remember it as a day that you gave away in efforts to satisfy your mother's desires? Yes, call the church wedding off and stand up for yourself!

Answer 3

A lot of good advice already. It's your wedding, and you should decide. And if your mom is the one insisting on a church wedding, then she should pay for it. But don't forget, you can do a small, intimate church wedding, 20 people or less. And you can do a cheap wedding. It doesn't have to be big and fancy just because it is in a church.

Answer 4

Why not go on with the church wedding afterall it was your first choice. If it's money your worried about, you can have a simple wedding it's the blessing of your union that is important not the party after the ceremony. And I'ts your wedding not your moms.

Answer 5

Is mom paying for it?
did you know that you can get married in church w/o all of the pomp and circumstance?

yes...one simply asks the minister to marry them

viola "church" wedding.

you could have just two witnesses and your respective families

I wouldn't have a large church wedding just to make my mom happy.

Tell her you can't afford it, tell her its not what you want
you can not capitulate to mom's desires from her out

now you have to begin to place your spouse first

what do you two want?

Answer 6

There are cheap options for a church wedding, but I think that you should talk it over with your mother. If you cannot talk to her, then it is your wedding and not hers, unless of course she wants to pay the balance.

Answer 7

It's your wedding and you can do what you want. She should be applauding you for wanting to save money.
Have the civil ceremony. Do not listen to her criticism.

Answer 8

It is your wedding and if you don't want it in a church then don't. Your then one that has to be happy with your decision not anyone else including your mother.

Answer 9

i agree with Anthony, whose wedding is it? if she is paying for the wedding, then you have to think differently: return the money and do what you want or keep the money and do what she asks.

Answer 10

well if she insists then let her pay for the wedding after all that is tradition anyways. The bride's parents pay for the wedding and the groome's parents pay for the reception....then yall can still save money