Am 22 years old and a mother of 2.I had my second baby 5 months ago and since then my apetite for sex has gone right out of the window.I have tried everything I know but it is just not working my husband is not saying anything but I know he is not happy.I am not happy myself because I dont even think about it.When he touches me I start to think of all his ex-girl friends and just push him away.Please people help me out as I know that such thungs drive men to cheat and our relationship is suffering.He get annoyed at every little thing and I nag about everything which isn't my normal behaviour.
2007-05-20 23:58:57 · 16 answers · asked by sadia 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
well first of all you need to find out what is really bothering you. it is normal for your sex drive to suffer after having a baby because most of hte time you will be tired. however you should keep your relationship with your partner open and tell him about your day and how tired you feel. this way he will know that you are not really off him but that you may be tired. i had the same problem, i was feeling that my body was good for baby making but sex itself was no go! also, ex girlfriends or wives or partners will always exist, however he chose you so give it your best.
my best advice would be to talk openly with your husband. blocking him out and trying to solve the 'problem' on your own will only make him think that you don't love/want him any more. good luck!
2007-05-21 00:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate. I had my 2nd child at 22 also. The second one just seemed to isolate me even more than the first one did. My husband would always say "We are 22 years old we should be doing it all the time!" He thought that bc I wasnt in the mood, I wasnt attracted to him. This went on for about 2 years after my youngest was born. I wish I would have gotten help. The thing that made me feel better was when I started workign part time. I'm not sure if you're a SAHM but that can sometimes make depression worse when you are alone with the kids all the time. Getting out of the house and having my own time made me feel so much better about myself. Around the same time I got back in touch with an old hs friend who I had lost touch with. So many things effect a woman's sex drive. If a woman is unhappy it usually effects sex. I would encourage you to see your doctor. But also do things for you...keep in touch with friends, maybe get a part time job. Most importantly sit down with your husband and let him know how much you love him and that you realize there is a problem, and that you want to fix it. Communication is so important! Good luck, I hth.
2007-05-21 09:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by massmama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a little post-partum depression or depression & fatigue from the challenge of young motherhood. Then there's the connection in your mind between having sex and having another baby. The dwelling on the exes may just be a deliberate attempt to keep yourself from thinking about sex.
A visit with your doctor is in order. And maybe a session or two with a therapist who specializes in such things (which doctors and ObGyns don't, really).
Meanwhile, sex doesn't have to mean intercourse only. Surely you can think of ways to please your hubby even if you don't feel aroused yourself and not just "push him away." A little creativity can go a long way in preserving any marriage.
2007-05-21 16:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had exactly the same feelings when i had my second daughter. I was diagnosed with post natal depression due to this and alot of other factors. I have been on medication for almost 3 years and everything is back to normal.
Maybe see your doctor and ask about medication/therapy. It may not be depression but its worth finding out anyway.
2007-05-21 07:18:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing really that we can say for you to get back on track. You have to sit down with your husband and tell him what you are feeling and that you are upset about certain things. Typically, after you have a child you don't feel secure anymore. You feel like you are fat, ugly, not as pretty, you think your hubby thinks that way too, ect., ect. The real problem is is that he is not loving you, kissing you, praising you. Telling you that you are pretty, sexy, ect.
2007-05-21 15:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are not thinking about sex... you are thinking about his ex's. Is there more going on here? Sounds like it... if not then you need to spend some time thinking about yourself and not your husband. Has he done anything to you to make you turned off by him? Maybe you need to have some honest you time.
Good luck because most men will find satisfaction elsewhere if they don't understand why there mate wont have sex with them.
2007-05-21 14:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by mzduncan1999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This question is in grade-schooler.
Anyways, I would suggest seeking counseling. Perhaps you have some post-partum depression you haven't dealt with? Otherwise just find ways to pretend you are having fun until your drive comes back.
2007-05-21 08:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Maroo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you have some sort of depression since your delivery? You might need to check with a doctor. It could be depression or hormone levels which effect everything you do. Please see a doctor and let him/her check you out. Most of the problems associated with this can be treated.
2007-05-21 07:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your doctor. You may be depressed or having your child may have caused your hormones and chemicals to be a lil' different! Tell your husband to stick by you....let him know you know something is wrong....hopefully he'll be there.
2007-05-21 09:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by SweetMelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a break. Get a sitter & go to a hotel together.
2007-05-25 00:06:10 · answer #10 · answered by foreverhoyt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋