My ex ended our relationship 3 mths ago. It came very quickly. She had some other problems at the time. Her Dr said she was depressed (she has a history) and prescribed meds and counselling. She initially said yes to both but then said no to counselling. She said she wasn't depressed and said the relationship was the cause.
I have tried so hard to move on but keep having a "what if" thing going on. I just found the whole situation so weird. She was telling me she loved me right before things ended. She had low self esteem too, often saying I should "feel free to dump her". I never wanted too. About 1 mth after things ended she said "she was sorry for hurting me & I was a wonderful person & whoever ended up with me would be as lucky to have met me as she was" Again, weird comments.
She was clear she wanted to stay friends. I got back in touch with her on that basis and she said she didn't want to meet up as "it wouldn't be fair on the person she is seeing".
What do I do????
2007-05-20 23:46:57 · 20 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Best thing is to forget her, believe me she is not nd she wasn't in love with you.
Involve your self in different activities. try to start a new relation.
2007-05-20 23:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is experiencing conflict within herself. The best course of action could be to disappear from her life she has moved on and your presence will only make her awkward then resentful. When you take yourself out of the equation it will become apparent to her how she really feels. It may or may not work in your favour.
This is what happened with my ex. We broke up over trust issues. He called and visited all the time to try win me back but I dug my heels in. He then vanished for a year. I moved on with someone else and even got engaged but when the reality hit I realised I could get married, I didn't love him and he didnt love me the way my ex did. so we broke it off.
My ex reappeared a couple of months later and we got back together a couple of months after that. Now that I know what life was like without him I would never voluntarily go through that again.
I guess it depends how she really does feel....
good luck.
2007-05-21 07:05:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She used you as a scape goat for her own mental health issues, the impression I get is that she likes to play the victim and loves the attention for acting out that way.
She used you as an excuse, simple as that, she chooses not to have any counselling simply because shes afraid of herself and the truth of what shes been keeping inside for such a long time.
I bet she is the kind of person who has great highs and very low depression's, which would suggest shes a manic depressive.
People who are like this often make themselves out to be worthless to make others give them attention and make them feel wanted.
Your better off out of it, as the next guy she is seeing will soon find out when she gets fed up playing her silly little games with him as she did you.
Move on and find a girl who has good mental health and doesn't have a chip on her shoulder the size of a sky scraper!
Regardless of how you feel you'll just end up hurting yourself more if you try to cling to her...
2007-05-21 07:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by celtic_colieen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal to be feeling like this after three months. It really isn't that long to get over the relationship, especially not if it was quite an intense and damaging relationship (which those with people suffering low self esteem often are). It took me two years to completely get over something similar, where he was still telling me he loved me up to the day before it ended.
2007-05-21 06:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me she has commitment issues. I went out with a girl like this once. My psychiatrist told me that many women from divorced families have commitment issues. I would give her her space but still be her friend. Now that you are not exclusive, find someone else to date. You can still be friends with your ex and if she sees the light and comes back to you then great! If she doesn't, you haven't wasted any time and you have a new companion. Who knows a new lady you meet may be better than your ex even? It could happen. There's a whole world out there man!
2007-05-21 06:53:07 · answer #5 · answered by StrWtchr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easier said than done but you must move on. She sounds like she's looking for something that you don't have, doesn't make you a bad person, just not the one for her. I had a guy tell me that once, then I found out he had a baby on the way with some other chick. Sometimes people sneak out the back door before we know it's over, rude of them, but they'll get theirs.
2007-05-21 06:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Kisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The meds have made her psycho. She's not the same person anymore.
Doctors used to be paid off by the tobacco companies, now it's the anti-depressant companies. Stay away from anyone on medication, especially conservatives. They can get violent.
Feel sorry for the person she's seeing. If he's her former doctor, sue the idiot. Otherwise, just forget about her.
2007-05-21 06:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by dude 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You totally have to let her go, she is struggling with alot of mental issues, and the conflict you bring to her by staying in touch has got to make it so difficult for her to move on. She has found someone new, you need to let her be. Please try to find something else to occupy your mind and time and think of this as a learning experience where you "missed the bullet" I can't think of anything worse than trying to be in a relationship that will not work out.
2007-05-21 06:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me after reading your numerous posts on this subject she has been quite honest with you and now has managed to find someone else quite quickly. She was obviously looking for a way out to persue this new relationship.
What you do is - move on. Life is full of 'what if's' and if you want to dwell on it that's up to you but by moving on so quickly she has shown her true colours.
2007-05-21 08:09:05 · answer #9 · answered by suebnm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on life is full of surprises
you haded the chance 3 months ago and your heart told you lave her so follow your heart even your heart tells you now that you did a mistake but its to late for that you should go on as normal because if you will thing about you will get a heart attack so move on
she is not for you either you was the problem or she was the problem a problem is a problem and will always be a promlem and it wont get fixed
so walk away and dont thing about it and you will survive
2007-05-21 06:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by rosenbejac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really loved (love) her and she really loved (love) you. So don't beat yourself up for still missing her. Its ok to grieve.
Find comfort in the fact that you are able to love.
She is the one with the problem so try not to think its you. Just give her space and if she comes back it will be for keeps!
Just stay as sweet as you are and love like you haven't been hurt.
Take Care.
x
2007-05-21 06:59:39 · answer #11 · answered by Bubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋