After becoming attatched any women i become very possessive. Plz help me to overcome this feeling.?

Question

When i become more closer to any beautiful ladies of any age i become more possessive. Plz help me to overcome this problem. Due to this i feel afraid to talk to them. At the initial stage i am very freindly but once when they become more attatched i become very possessive and very bad. Even thouugh i know it is not right, my mind is out of my control. Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me.I am a man of 30 years old still unmarried

Answer 1

I think you should seek out counseling.. you may have some underling mental problems causing this behavior. Also, you need to deal with whatever insecurities you have...

Answer 2

And I bet you thought the song "if you want to be happy for the rest of you life, make an ugly woman your wife" was just a joke. lol!
Seriously, you can't control your possessive feelings. Feelings are an emotion. You can only deal with the logical actions involved.
You are not alone in becoming possessive of beautiful ladies.
How do you feel about the not so beautiful ones? Maybe it is time to seek help to find out what true love is all about.
Treat the cause not the individual problem. This way it will not keep happening.
As for your individual problem, it will automatically be resolved. Either you force yourself to ease up no matter how you feel or she will go Bye! Bye!

Answer 3

First of all, the very act of acknowleding your possessiveness as a problem takes a great amount of courage. Congratulations!
The first step you take towards it is by 'Forgiving Yourself'.

I understand that there is more to your problem. It probably goes way back to your childhood/upbringing. You may have also lost something/someone very valuable to you.
I feel that the reason you are afraid to talk to ladies/ avoiding them is to avoid losing them. Why do I also sense a lack of self esteem at the core of all this? What do you lack in you due to which you think they might leave you?
Please sit down and analyse all the possibilities and tackle them one at a time.
You have the solution to your problems within yourself. You can do it. Just have the determination.
People expect to receive and give in all relationships. I say, you give and give. Don't have any expectations. Learn to let go of them and see how they follow you.
Cheer up my friend.

Answer 4

As yourself why you have the need to have to be so possessive? Is jealousy the underlying issue? Is it trust? Did a girl in the past betray your trust?

Remember that this new relationship is new, and is special to you. If she is that important to you, realize that she is a separate person from you, and she has a life also. She has her own friends, and you cannot control anyone else but yourself. Once you realize this, your relationship with this girl will strengthen and you can be proud of yourself.

It might take time, but work on it, and do it for yourself and for her.

Answer 5

Jealousy is the cause of many breakups. Trust is critical to having a loving relationship. You need to seek counseling to learn how to trust. I am guessing that there is a reason from your past that makes you feel the way you do. By working with a therapist, you can realize that reason, and learn how to overcome it. If you don't, you will never be able to enjoy true love.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

at first congratulations on understanding that it's a problem. usually men think it's ok to be possesive...:)
i'm not going to advice you any theraphy but just try to ask your mom what kind of child you were. that's kinda typical problem of children with "unsecure attachment". as children they were always afraid that mom is going to leave them for good and that fear becomes posessivness as they grow... i used to have similar problems. but i was too caring. that's as bad as your problem. and the only thing helped. i had to become happy without anyone by my side. then when i found the person i liked there was no need to keep him like a dog. i wasn't afraid that i'm gonna be unhappy if he'll leave me. i was already happy.
sorry for grammar:)

Answer 8

...........you sound like you become afraid of losing them, It is important to talk to a psychiatrist about this and learn to become more trusting, jealousy and possessiveness can tend to push women away because they can often feel suffocated. Good luck and I hope you resolve this to become happy within your relationship and within yourself.