How do I tell my mother in law that I do not like her?

Question

My husband's mother is always trying to tell me how to raise my children. I think it's because she was not in my husband's life when he was a child, so she tries to make up for it by telling us how to raise our children. He get's really mad when she does it and we have not anwered the pone for her in 2 weeks. But how do we tell her that we can raise our children without her help in a nice way? Seeing as how she wasn't a good mother to my husband.

Answer 1

You don't have to actually tell her that you don't like her. You can and should tell her that you appreciate (yeah right) her interest but you and your husband already know how you want to raise your children.

As far as not being a good mother to your husband, that is not good, but that does not mean that she can't be a pretty decent grandmother to your children IF she stops the interfering.

I could not stand my MIL either but I managed never to actually tell her that.

Answer 2

Your husband needs to talk to his mother and tell her that you as a couple are happy that she is the grandma but that you don`t need all of the advise. He could then explain to her other ways that Grandparents can show their love towards their grandchildren.
It doesn`t have to be a rude conversation but it is a conversation that most new parents` go through with their parents. It is better to lay down the barriers now, then to do what you are doing by ignoring your mother-in-law.
Just remember that it should come from your husband not you. This will help to keep the conversation more calm.

Answer 3

You don't need to tell her anything. I have met very few mother's who don't try to tell their children how to raise their grandchildren. It's like imprinted in their dna and when we are grandmother's we will very likely do the same thing.

When she offers her advice or suggestions just tell her thank you or I'll think about that. No more. You don't have to take her suggestions so much to heart. Let her speak them and then do what you want to do. No need to make a big deal out of this.

As for raising your hubby... remember, we as parents can only do the best we know how. We are not perfect. I was not an easy child to raise and I realize that now... my mom did her best.

Answer 4

You don't ever tell her you don't like her. Nobody likes their mother-in-law. Mother-in-laws are always trying to meddle in your life as a couple. That's just what they believe they should do. Just let her know that you two have got it handled. Tell her that you would like her to be a part of your children's life, if that is the case, but that you want to raise them on your own.

Answer 5

Wow! Mother in laws can be hard creatures to deal with. Be firm, show a united front ,but be cool about it. Don't yell. You could even say something like,Mom I'll handle it! I think though your husband should be the one to say something or go first. So she wont feel as if you are trying to get in between!!

Answer 6

i think 90% of daugther-in-laws dont like their MIL.It is nothing new.It is immaterial whether your MIL has been a good mom or not.If you dont like her advice at all it is better to tell her not to interfere in how you raise your kids.Sometimes your MIL may also be right.Listen to her in small things and ignore her advice otherwise.You are postponing the unpleasantness by not answering her.another tactic is when she advices you just ask her another question and dont bother to get into an argument with her.Having been a DIL I know you can never agree with your MIL on raising your kids eventhough the advice may be correct.Best advice is just ignore her suggestions but do not exclude her.

Answer 7

Listen.....Breath.....and answer with oh really, wow, how nice, what a great idea.

Hang up the phone and................do what you want. Its your house, its your family and you are an adult.

Don't bother wasting your breath on hurtful words or things that could cause major turmoil for the whole family.

Would she then hang up with you and call 20 other relatives and spread the news oh how mean you were or whatever could come out of her mouth...

Trust me....Kindness Kills when used right.....Just smile and Grin and Bear....it.

smooth waters are better then a rough sea.

Best wishes

Answer 8

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to grit your teeth, smile at her, say, "Thank you for sharing your opinion" and then ignore it. Also, try hard not to say mean things about if the kids are listening.