My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship and things were going great until I went to visit him and told him that I wasn't interested in having sex. I have a chronic illness which had symptoms flaring up and I was in too much pain to be intimate. He agreed to this at first, but then continued to pressure me all last weekend. After 2 days of ongoing jokes I finally caved in (dumb move) and ended up being in a lot of pain. When I returned home we had a fight over the phone. He insisted that my illness was not what he signed up for and that it was all too much work. He also added that *I* was in this relationship purely for the sex. He pretty much made me the bad guy. He said that he wanted to stay friends and that we could get back together next fall when I'm back at school and have visited Mayo. I said no to being friends and hung up. We haven't spoken since. I cannot stop crying and I feel ripped up inside. Is he right? Should I not be dating with an illness?
2007-05-20 19:15:29 · 16 answers · asked by - 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't be silly, it's not your fault and you don't ask for the the sickness. For goodness sake, this man is not even worth for your love. All I can said is that he's definitely a selfish person who only knows how to put the blame on others! By right, he should respect your decision and care for your sickness and not about "SEX". He's a total jerk. there's no need to be sad about such person. Move on with your life and find a man that truly loves you instead of focusing on SEX. There's a lot of good man in this world. Just open your eyes and stay focus on what you want in your life and in the man you truly think it's worth your love. Good Luck Gal!
2007-05-20 19:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a real son of a *****! You did screw up by letting him pressure you into having sex....but you did the right thing by telling him to take a permanent hike. If your illness is contageous...or if it is always so painful for you, you should definitely make sure you have a discussion with your partner and make sure you both know your stand on it. Never let a man pressure you into having sex. If thats all they want, then what good are they to you?
Even with whatever you have, you still can find a man that will respect you and love you.
Just be patient and steer clear of losers.
2007-05-20 19:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Vanessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the illness is a lame excuse, and he's trying to make you feel bad, so he doesn't. He didn't have enough of a problem not to sleep with you. You deserve better, and unless the illness is some sort of STD, I don't think there is a problem with you dating. You might want to make people your seeing aware early on if you don't already though, but it sounds as if he knew you had an illness before that weekend. Anyway, be glad he's gone, there is someone better out there for you. BTW I'm sorry you were treated this way.
2007-05-20 19:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Rich 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a HUGE jerk. Unfortunately, some people are not mature enough to stay in a non-sex relationship. I have a disease that makes my ovaries and surrounding areas hurt like hell from time to time. Luckily, my boyfriend understands that these are no sex times, and he's ok with it. However, like I said, if the maturity is not there and yours wasn't ok with that, you're MUCH better off without him. Do not limit yourself either with the dating scene. Just make sure you are upfront with your illness from the get go with your new interest. If they blow you off, then they are not right for you. Believe me, nice and decent guys do exist, they're just harder to come by.
2007-05-20 19:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by anchorsaway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife has lyme disease and it takes a big toll on sex sometimes. That being said we still have a life. When we have sex it is the greatest, dirtiest sex ever! When she is in pain I understand. She doesn't feel like sex because of the pain and I understand because if it was me or my performance I would have been devastated. I think your guy needs to also evaluate your relationship. If he loves you he will get beyond the medical. If he leaves you he is just being honest about what he wants. Sorry, but that's life.
2007-05-20 19:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by coastaltugcaptain 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well honestly I don't think dating a guy for either one of those things is a good idea. But it should be for how you feel. but honestly if I was to chose I would probaly say sex because money can't buy you love.
2016-05-22 16:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by rosario 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just being a jerk! You deserve a man who loves you for who you are and would love to take care of you because you need the attention. Keep your head up and don't settle for anyone who makes you feel like you are not good enough!
2007-05-20 19:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO he isn't right if he really cared for you then he would of understood. He turned the tables on you and it didn't even make sense. Find a guy a who wont be such a douche to your medical conditions.
2007-05-20 19:19:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wanted your sex. don't worry about your illness, you'll find a guy that will care for you enough to deal with it. you don't need to be friends you did the right thing.
2007-05-20 19:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by Ally 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ok to date with an illness as lons as he knows about it but he seemes like an *ss so id ignore him and move on
cause ur better than that
2007-05-20 19:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by Joshua H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋