I have had many relationships in my life, and they always end the same: I loose interest. It gets worse, I don't loose interest after a few weeks or months, I loose it after about 9 months-1 year... and after we are "in love". I don't know what is awrong with me, I will think a guy is the love of my life and then just fall out of love. I have been in about 4 serious relationships and one engagement, and the same thing happens everytime. I am with a great guy now, and it has been about 5 months, and I do not want this to happen with him, he is so great! Plus, I want to be married and have kids someday, but I think I am going to just get BORED with it all. Any advise?? How do I keep it up so I can have a long relationship and marriage? I am scared that it wont ever happen for me!
2007-05-20 18:59:39 · 6 answers · asked by Lauren W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok, ok... I am not a Ho or any of that... I actually can't ever get "attached", so being too serious at the beginning isnt really my problem either. I actually move very very slow in relationships, but I get so picky after a while, and I grow bored... does this help clarify my issue?
2007-05-20 19:14:55 · update #1
You are very wise to have discovered and acknowledged this pattern. Two thoughts:
1) It's normal for infatuation to wear off after 9-12 months and relationships hit a crisis. Happy couples find something to latch onto besides passion; unhappy couples break up, or worse, keep stoking passion through conflict and other unhealthy behaviors. It's a tricky transition, and if you didn't have any role model growing up, that transition can feel like nothing but loss and emptiness.
2) These patterns don't just happen passively or randomly like coin flips. Maybe some unacknowledged part of you resists commitment or imperfection and knows how to disengage you. This can get really complicated, but I'll mention role models again. Were your parents stunted by marriage rather than enriched by it? Did you get the message that marriage is a trap, or more trouble than it's worth? These are the sorts of questions you can ask yourself.
Maybe you don't need to "do" anything, just try to see what emotions and motivations are affecting you.
2007-05-20 19:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to look past your own desires........and look to see if your partner is happy....
perhaps you fall into the trap where you're playing house but nothing is official.
If you get into a daily routine with a person too soon into a relationship.........you basically chew out all the flavor in the first couple months.......and you leave nothing for the rest.
Take a step back.
What can you do to make your relationship exciting?
Is he doing everything he can to romance you?
Do you need a little more spice in the relationship?
Maybe you need a vacation for two.
Whatever it is do it.........because there is a shortage of good guys in the world, and it would suck for the other girls if you keep breaking them before you finally settle.
We're all in this search. So if this is a Mr. Right.......jump on it. If not, you should evaluate the reasons why you choose these men, and if they are really what you are looking for in a husband....or potential father of your children.
2007-05-21 02:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by Vanessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're mixing up love with infatuation. It usually takes between 2 months and 2 years for the infatuation stage to end and for love to grab hold and start to grow. However, it appears you may not like the effort it takes to grow love, and instead prefer the infatuation stage. Soon, you will frustrate of the changes... tire of telling someone who you are all the time and trying to figure out them.... and decide to stay long enough to start making love grow.
2007-05-21 02:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complacency is common in relationships. In English that means, the same cracker everyday gets old and bland. Human nature is to experience new and enjoyable things. Emotions are no different. Try keeping your physical side entertained by trying new, adventurous things.
2007-05-21 02:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by Broken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok in so many words you just called yourself a ho! Listen how in the hell can you get bored. Are you broke or is ya man broke. How in the hell can you get bored. Take your azz ski diving or test drive a speed boat there are plenty of thing out there. You determine what you do and how you do it.
2007-05-21 02:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by BENNIE M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying and roll with the flow. When it is right it will work out.
2007-05-21 02:08:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋