Both the brides and grooms families are what I would describe as working class blue collar folks. The wedding is to be held in Las Vegas with the reception dinner at the Hilton's buffet. See what I mean about "blue collar folks"?
2007-05-20 17:15:16 · 42 answers · asked by gotmini02 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think it would be nice. In my daughter's wedding the grooms family offered, then stiffed us. I don't know why this couple is having a wedding they can't afford though.
2007-05-20 17:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well i was a wedding planner for 6 years and have seen a lot.
my personal answer is nope it's not tacky however, tradition is the bride's family pays for most things. This is a grey area my friend, some woudl say yes it is tacky others would say no.
If the bride's parents really can't afford the whole wedding then first thing would be well maybe take it down a notch so that it's a bit cheaper. If the bride's family are really hurting then it's ok to aks the grooms parents.
Now first things first is the couple should be putting out a bit too after all it's your wedding so offer to help with what you can. Now the best way to go about asking for the grooms family's help is....
For the groom to ask! It's his parents and he should be the one to ask. DO NOT let the bride or the bride's family ask THAT is tacky.
2007-05-20 18:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by *Sbaby* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, if I were the groom, or the grooms parents, I would not mind a nice friendly discussion at all, about financing the wedding. However, I would further advise that you have as cheap of a wedding ceremony as possible. So, how tacky is that? Yet, my reasoning is this:
Your families can spend lots of money on some elaborate, expensive wedding, or else they could better dedicate it towards helping you both get a good start in life. When the wedding is over, still you will need a good place to live, furnished, and the ability to sustain yourselves. So, better to put the money where it is needed, while dropping all of the other bullplucky. Just get the wedding over with, it is only a formality. Then, comes the honeymoon! WOOHOO!
2007-05-20 17:32:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do not think that it is tacky at all. Why should a bride's family foot the bill and the groom's family sit back and enjoy. I think that the grooms family should be approached in a polite manner , let them know the cost of everything, see if they offer first, then lay it on them. I have a wedding in August and we paid most of our own cost , my Mom and Dad has also paid for things, nothing from the Grooms family. It is not just about the money , they could offer other services, like decorating and such . It is not about the class either, my dad is a chef and my mom a nurse , they still have bills and such too. Tired of grooms families , trying to invite the uninvited, making plans and such without putting out the cheese$$$ or help.
2007-05-20 17:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by mizpreston23 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The grooms parents traditionally cover the cost of all the flowers, the band,any alcoholic beverages/bar,rehearsal dinner,tuxes and reception hall.
Response to your email:
Traditions last only as long as people let them. I do the best I can to up hold tradition but admit it is not possible for everyone to do this. When it can't be done, we do the best we can with what we have. The grooms parents should set limits on what they can afford to help with. They should have some input on what is planned if they contribute to the costs. If they can not afford to help at all, they should say so. Not saying anything at all and attending your sons wedding like any other guest is very tacky too. We know this from experience.
Been there done that, with one of our daughters weddings. the grooms mother gave us an extensive list of family and friends she wanted us to invite. We did the best we could to honor the grooms family and parent. At the wedding we were made to feel like their servants. We had to watch their children, supervise and clean up messes they made, besides paying for the whole wedding, with not so much as a thank you from any of the groom's family or parent, other then from our daughter. How tacky is that!
2007-05-20 17:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by JAN 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
For most of today's weddings,the rule about the Bride's parents paying for the wedding reception are out the window. If they are willing and able to do so,then that is wonderful. But the Bride and Groom usually pay for a bulk of their wedding,with both sides of families helping with some costs. What I would do is have both families sit down and discuss with them what your plans are. Be prepared to show what you and your fiancee plan to contribute. I am sure both sides will contribute what they can afford.
2007-05-20 17:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by LaurenElyse B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That whole brides parents thing dates back to the days of bride prices and dowries, real middle age kind of stuff. What is tackier, a lame wedding, or both sides pitching in?
If the brides parents were loaded and the grooms were not, I would say very tacky. Both blue collar, not so tacky.
2007-05-20 17:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Clawndike 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not tacky at all. Even in tradition the grooms parents helped with the wedding. These days anything goes. I think if anyone is offended they need to remember what they are helping out with. This is a special day for a couple and their friends and family should be doing what they can to make special for them.
2007-05-21 04:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The groom should explain the situation and ask his parents to help. If they can he should ask them what their budge will allow and then let the bride's parents know. It is customary for the groom's family to pay for the rehearsal dinner and any alcohol at the reception. The groom (or thereby his parents) pays for the brides ring, her bouquet, his tux, the fee for the minister, gifts for his groomsmen and the honeymoon. Since this is usually no where near the cost of the rest of it, they can figure that into what they can afford.
2007-05-20 17:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's actually quite common nowadays for both families to help with expenses. My husband and I paided for the actual ceremony and part of the reception while his father paid for most of the reception.
All parties involved need to sit down and work out how much each can contribute and set a budget according to that.
Make sure that whoever helps pay is listed on the wedding invitations. For example, if both families and the bride and groom paid, the wedding invitation should read something like
"Joe Groom and Jane Bride,
together with their parents,
invite you to attend their wedding
(rest of wedding information here)"
If just the parents pay, then it would say
"Mr. and Mrs. Parents of Bride
and
Mr. and Mrs. Parents of Groom
invite you to the wedding of their children
Jane Bride
and
Joe Groom
(rest of information here)"
My wedding invitations read:
"Please share in our joy as
Jane Bride
and her daughter,
Little Bride,
are joined by marriage to
Joe Groom"
No mention of which family paid.
2007-05-20 22:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by seeme1995 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing set in stone that says the brides parents must shoulder the entire shin dig. I think both families should pitch in, after all each family is getting a new member and how wonderful for them! I would be happy to help pay for my son's wedding!!! It would just make me feel good to do something for him.
Go for it! And congratulations to the lucky bride and groom!!
2007-05-20 17:22:27 · answer #11 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋