My roommate is a friend I have known for 10+ years. He has a girlfriend that lives about 100 miles away and he is gone with her every weekend. However, during the week he has brought home other women on occasion. To this point I have just kept myself out of his business, but now they are talking about marriage, he is still cheating and I don't see him changing his ways. Him and I have talked about the situation and he'll have an excuse for why he cheated but he doesn't seem sorry at all. Should I tell his girlfriend/potential future fiancee?
2007-05-20 17:11:43 · 21 answers · asked by nmsu00 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no way. talk to your roomie, not his girlfriend. don't intervene by telling the girl she's being cheated on. that's more drama than you can ask for. it's always best not to get involved in people's problems. if the way he acts bothers you so much, get new friends. if he can betray his girlfriend like this, there's no reason why he won't betray you.
2007-05-20 17:30:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough call to make. Obviously you don't want to lose your friend, but you don't want his girlfriend to get hurt either. No one deserves that. Would there be any way you could have his girlfriend come visit...maybe suggest that it's a good day to surprise him...when another woman is over? It's better than outright telling her and chances are you won't be blamed for anything. Otherwise there's nothing you really can do. I'm sorry you're in this awkward position, you're friend doesn't sound like he's mature enough to handle a real relationship.
2007-05-20 17:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by dolce 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would be saving them both a lot of anguish and possibly a very nasty and bitter divorce if you would speak up now. Ask the lady to please consider a way of telling the friend how she knows without involving you. If you still want to be friends and roomies. You could give her names, dates. That would help her. But she should know what type of guy he is. All men sow their wild oats but if they are planning on getting married this should stop! She could get an STD at the very least and that is not right if she is thinking she is the only one. A woman with an STD that went untreated could end up never being able to have children. So, please, it is tough to do, but be a gentleman and tell her!
2007-05-20 17:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally in situations like this, I prefer to follow the rule, "if it doesn't involve life or death situations, I don't tell. However, with the mention of Marriage, something is bothering me about the whole thing....
Here's what you do. Do not TELL the girlfriend what's going on. Strongly suggest that she drop in at your place UNINVITED in the middle of the week to SURPRISE him (and only do it on a night when you KNOW he will be with one of his cheats).
Let life take its course. At some point, the girlfriend deserves to know the truth, especially if the roommate is talking about marrying the poor girl.
2007-05-20 17:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Soooo you have been a GOOD friend for over 10 years??? and you have known what he is doing all this time??? Are you sure this is not the arrangement between them? Find out before you open your mouth. If it was my friend, a close friend, I would get them both together and make a slight, "SURPRIZE", only if I knew for a fact that they both were on the same page. Sometimes couples have certain agreements and dont tell their friends.....think about it and do what you think is appropiate for both of your friends.
2007-05-20 17:20:25 · answer #5 · answered by aka nuggets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're in this crazy situation. I really don't know what you should do, but if I were the other girlfriend, I honestly would be very thankful that you told me considering the situation that you are in. I've been in her situation and I always wish the third party told me.
2007-05-20 17:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by basmusiq 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is pretty messed up of him to be cheating on her. I'd take pictures of him cheating or have some sort of evidence and mail it to her anonymously. I have friends that have been with me for around 7-8 years and but if they ever cheated on their girlfriends like that and were planning to get married I'd have to do something. This is not just my friend's life this is also the girl's life and she deserves to be treated fairly.
2007-05-20 17:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one!!! If you tell his gf she may get mad at you. She may think you are trying to get with her. IN do time she will find out on her own.
NOW THOSE LINES ABOVE ARE BULL!!!!
Tell that girl what the deal is. IF she gets mad don't worry at all she will thank you lata. B/C I know you would want someone to tell you. Instead of letting you make a fool out of your self. And by the way dont worry about your friend. He will get over it.
2007-05-23 01:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by LucyLoud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really think that she has no idea, then maybe you should give her some hints - be subtle. You should have some loyalty to your friend, so don't just come out and tell her, but if you want to do the right thing and she doesn't know, give her some hints.
2007-05-20 17:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by Skyla 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should because if he ain't being honest then it won't be the best marriage and if she found out while they were married then they would have spent tons of money on nothing and her feelings would get hurt real bad.
2007-05-20 17:20:51 · answer #10 · answered by A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋