We have a 8 month oled baby and were invited to a wedding out of town. We asked if was okay to bring our daughter and was told yes. We RSVP'ed to the wedding and now are told that they are "discouraging" children at the wedding and dinner. What should we do now? Other important information: I'm still breasfeeding.
2007-05-20 16:50:23 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We live far away from any family and we've never left her with a sitter.
2007-05-20 17:10:23 · update #1
If you asked and the bride and/or groom told you that it was okay to take your baby, by all means, take her. These are your friends and they surely can understand your situation and what your needs are likely to be at this point in your life with an 8 month old child.
2007-05-20 16:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by UofMWolverines03 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If they said yes then it's ok. When they say discouraging children they usually mean the ones that run around and are old enough to eat the food that will be served.
Your baby is A- still breastfeeding so needs mom and B- can't eat the food nor run around.
make sure you bring something comfy for the baby to ware after during the later time at the reception and something very comfy for it to sleep in. So long as it's comfy the baby shouldn't be a problem it won't cry unless like I said it's not comfy.
So sure bring the baby.
if you want to be sure call teh couple and confirm that you will be bringing the baby and that it's still breastfeeding and need mom.
I don't think there will be a problem with that.
I've been a wedding planner for a long time and usually when the couple says no children it means no children over the age of 1.
take care
2007-05-20 18:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by *Sbaby* 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would not attend this wedding because of the following reasons:
1. They are "discouraging" children at the wedding and diner. This means the wedding is not going to be a childfriendly.
2. At 8 month your child is moving around a lot and probably even cruising around the furniture. You cannot expect your baby to sit at one place all the time as this is not fair to her or him. Also from sitting for more than two hours your baby might have a sore bottom.
3. Imagine if you let you baby to move around. Guests (many of whom will be drunk) might not like it, the floor is not going to be clean. People will go to the loo hundreds of times bringing the traces of urine on their shoe soles. Some of them will forget to wash their hands. There could be fights among the guests. You know weddings.
3. There will be noise and your baby will get tired very soon after arriving to that place. I would not expect your baby sleeping through the noise but I do not know your baby of course. Also, once the baby is tired it can get irritable and might cry. You will want to be alone with him or her...and where will you go?
4. The mother might want to have a couple of drinks. Alchohol is not good for the baby. Also, the mother might get drunk and will stop paying attention to her baby.
5. But if you really want to go there I would give a number of questions to the bride and groom. However, I think you have been already indirectly told not to bring your child to the wedding.
I hope I have not been too tedious :)
P.S. May be if the wedding is going to be at bride's or groom's house then it is a bit easier. You could ask in advance whether you could use a room for breastfeeding. Also, if your baby could sleep in a room. Do not live your baby sleeping alone. A mother or father should always stay in a room with their baby.
Also, ask them whether it would be possible to reheat babies food and where you could store it unless you could reheat it in your car. Take lots of antibacterial tissues, thermos with hot water, oat flakes (babies like it) and some medicine. Buy some Orgnix food such organix corn puff rings. Organix is excellent for babies and lots of their products do not contain salt and sugar but still sweet because of raisins or grape juice. You can buy it from Boots, Sainsburys, Waitrose, Tescos and Ocado. Good luck!
2007-05-21 00:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it is a quiet non-colicky baby and you are willing to "disappear" at the first wail, go for it. A baby does not require a place at the table or a cost with the caterer. You want to go to the wedding and that baby HAS to eat so it is like an extension of your own body! I had five and nursed them all. BUT remember that a baby's wail is hardwired to really set off most adults so we will take care of them and all of us will survive as a species. Sit in the back of the church, synagogue, hall, at the ceremony. If your baby cries, GET OUT FAST. At the reception, people will cut you a break. Weddings and babies are all part of the human fabric. Unless the baby is screaming like a banshee it will probably be well tolerated by the guests and even welcomed.
2007-05-20 17:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by ckswife 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't take the baby to the wedding, even if they did say it was alright. They then recognized this, and responded.
If getting a babysitter is too much to arrange, stay home with the baby. If you really want to attend, you will find someone to care for the baby. This shouldn't take more than 48 hours to decide the right thing to do. At 8 months, most parents normally stay home.
2007-05-20 17:22:20 · answer #5 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you will have to sit this one out, it is very rude of you as well as the bride and groom to be selective on children. You cant allow some and not others and it will royally piss parents off whose kids were told not to come and followed the rules, not to mention reflect on you in a very negative light, since they will assume you just brought your kids anyway.
Sometimes it doesnt work out and you just dont get to go to everything, too bad, so sad.
ETA I will also add that it was EXTREMELY rude of you to ask if she was invited. Invites are addressed to the people invited, if the baby was left off then it was intentional, brides are very anal about such things, the baby wasnt left off by mistake, it was because she wasnt invited. You put this girl in a very akward position and she probably felt as if she couldnt say no to you. Someone above said that no kids excludes kids under 1, WHAT??? That is the most insane thing I have ever heard, kids under 1 are sometimes the biggest problem causers at events especially quiet events like wedding ceremonies. Honestly, stay at home with your baby.
2007-05-21 02:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Were they the ones that told you this, if not, you should contact them just to verify that it is still okay. If there is any hesitation, I'm sure they would understand that you couldn't make it. If you are very close to them, send them either a gift or a card with a small monetary gift and thank them for inviting you and explain that since you have no family or close friends with whom to care for your baby that you were unable to attend. I think that would be totally appropriate and understandable. I understand how difficult it would be to leave your child. First time I did it was with lots of family at my grandma's house and couldnt make it through dinner without calling. Skipped the movie afterwards and went back to get him.
2007-05-20 17:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to find a sitter. If you can't, then take the baby. They did originally tell you it was ok, after all.
But if that baby starts crying or fussing during the ceremony, you better get that kid the hell out of there! Even if you have to wait outside and miss the ceremony, you'll be doing the couple a favor by not ruining their day with a crying baby.
2007-05-20 18:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was an in town wedding, it would be easier. Out of town makes it tough.
If you really want to go, and if you can, I'd guess you could bring a sitter along to stay at the motel with baby. And some pumped breast milk in a bottle.
Otherwise, don't go to the wedding.
I can understand not wanting kids to be there, especially kids who would disrupt the ceremony with crying, etc. And toddlers & little kids who'd be running around all over the place.
2007-05-20 16:57:44 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Maybe they are discouraging children, but dont count a baby as a child. I wouldnt. A breastfed baby is hardly going to run amok ruining a wedding as some older children would.
2007-05-20 17:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Take the baby! Breastfeeding is important to you I assume. You can't go for too long without feeding or pumping,it'll hurt. If they told you that you could bring the baby, do so. It's not like your child will be running around. Just be prepared if the baby becomes fussy.
2007-05-20 16:54:27 · answer #11 · answered by ~Charity~ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋