I've only been engaged for 10 days, and I really want to get married in Vegas. It seems like it will be fun and way cheaper. If I get my way I plan on having a barbecue/picnic type reception when we get back so everyone can celebrate. However, I'm already getting hurt looks and faces of disappointment when I mention what I want to do. I really just want the wedding to consist of me and my fiancee his parents, sister, and nephews (they live in AZ) and my dad, sister, and brother-in-law (who live in WI where we do). My fiancee seems to be more concerned about everyone else's feelings on the situation instead of doing what we might really want to do. He keeps saying Vegas is fine, but I can tell he's worried about hurting people's feelings and that's what nagging at him when I mention Vegas. How do I get my Vegas wedding without starting hurting the feelings of my extended family? Or is it just impossible? Any suggestions, even rambling, would be appreciated.
2007-05-20 16:10:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would say, "forget everyone and do it your way, baby", except that it sounds like your fiance has different ideas. you and your fiance need to talk about this and find a compromise. Maybe you could elope to Vegas and have a fancy ring ceremony as part of your reception. Or, you could have a regular wedding and honeymoon in Vegas. Don't worry about anyone but you and your fiance. If you try to please everyone you will end up miserable.
2007-05-20 16:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Lil' Miss Knowitall 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being Catholic myself, I think that your parents are just trying to instill values that will last a lifetime -- much longer than the single day of the wedding. If you are Catholic, then yes, it's important for your parents that you get married in the Catholic church (and it should be important to you as well). Between my husband and I, we had four children. I know I had a different perspective, but things that you might think you have to have (or have others do) are not as important as maintaining harmony among your family, his family and friends. My bridesmaids picked the color of their dresses after I gave them other colors options (and guess what, the color and style looked beautiful on them -- much more than the color choices I picked). A niece whose birthday was on our wedding day wore a tiara, but we made a big deal for three of the girls (8, 8 and 16) whose birthdays were on/around our wedding day and had the dj play the birthday song by the beatles and they each got a cake before everyone else. The rehersal dinner the night before the wedding also became a surprise 16th birthday (for the one who wore a tiara). My mother in law came to my house the day of the wedding when I was supposed to be getting ready with all of my bridesmaids and took two one bridesmaid and the flower girl (her grandchildren) to get them to the church "on time." So I had no pictures of getting ready for the wedding with my new stepdaughters. The dj decided to play the last song of the night from a request that my stepdaughter made earlier in the night for a dance with her dad -- so the last song of the night my new husband danced with his daughter (at that point I did draw a line, started crying and my new husband re-requested a song so he and I could dance a last song together). I can tell you that if your parents haven't planned a wedding in a while, they may be in sticker shock as to how expensive photography and videographers are. Just try to keep harmony, and compromise. And expect the unexpected on your day, and just have fun. Know that everyone is not going to be thinking of you -- even though you are the bride and think that they should. That's just the way it goes, but you know what? Some of the things you think you care about really don't matter once you are married.
2016-05-22 14:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like all the important people are already coming. However, since you're already planning a reception why go to the expense of having a vegas wedding? The reception is the hard and expensive part. The ceremony is easy. That said, you can't plan your wedding around your extended family. You'll never be able to please everyone.
2007-05-20 16:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know from friends, and from reading on here as well, how many couples regret having destination weddings - for mostly the family reasons. Not everyone can afford to go, and some couples feel like they have missed out on something special after. I just always think a wedding is a time for family and friends to witness the ceremony, then celebrate later at the reception together. I think it's really rude to not have people go to the ceremony, yet you want them to come to a party for you later - it just doesn't add up....
2007-05-21 00:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The wedding is about both of you, not everyone else's hurt feelings. He says Vegas is fine, so go with that. Or sit down and have a heart to heart about the guest list.
Feelings are going to be hurt no matter what you do. Aim for pleasing YOU and your fiance. If you try to please everyone it will only cause you many headaches.
2007-05-21 01:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him honey I know all this is stress you I want the vegas wedding and our family want something else how about this me and you get away for a little bit and clear our mind and when we get back we wil start plan our wedding. have two tickets in your to Vegas tell him we are not get married there lets just go there to have fun and when you get tell him you want to get married now. No stress just happiest Good luck
2007-05-20 17:31:50 · answer #6 · answered by jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, I wanted a vegas wedding too. I even changed it to Graceland just cuz my fiance loves graceland.... But guess what...... Im getting married in Sheboygan. If I had any idea how to answer this for you, I would. I have lots of vegas info though. I went to www.vegasweddings.com and researched it on the internet, and now I cant even get married in Vegas, my 3rd option was to get married in Rhinelander in the winter...... get married ouside, with a horse & sleigh, I didnt get that either. sometimes the ''bride'' NEVER wins. find out what your parents want and his parents want. Sit down and talk to them about it. good luck!
2007-05-20 16:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by mannasox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either one of you should worry about hurting anyone's feelings. They're trying to make you feel guilty but it's YOUR dream wedding, not theirs. You're being considerate enough by having the BBQ and everyone will probably forget all about not going to the wedding when they go and have fun at the reception. Good luck.
2007-05-20 16:18:29 · answer #8 · answered by ahelaumakani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetpea. It's your wedding. Tell your parents that you can have a classy intimate event in Vegas. And if they're uncomfortable then you can have a reception at your home in WI as well.......and they can pay for you since it's not about THEM it's about you as a couple and this event should symbolize your love and your expectations and no one elses.
2007-05-20 16:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by Monie Balonie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, screw them for now! It is your special time! You need to do what you want! If you wanted a wedding in Atlantis you would need to stop at nothing to get it! Same with Vegas. You want it, go get it babe!
2007-05-20 16:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by Azena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋