What psychological methods can you use to stop obsessing about a sick person?

Question

I keep worrying about someone with a chronic illness. I know she can't get better, but I wishing she would. Are there any psychological techniques that can help me not worry about something I have no control over (besides medication)?

Answer 1

There's mental illness and physical illness. I have one friend with Crohn's Disease. She's often in physical pain. I worried about her all the time when I first met her. Soon learned that (1) I couldn't make her feel any better, and (2) I could help her better if I wasn't obsessed about her illness. She might need a ride to the hospital or something else. Or she might just need reassurance or a calm head about her. I could help most by not fretting and wringing my hands. I have another friend with an emotional disturbance and chemical dependency issues. That's a different matter altogether. I learned that she would take advantage of my concern and convince me to do things against my own best interest in order to help her. I had to go to a therapist to learn to detach myself and make her responsible for her own problems. So it kind of depends on what you're dealing with.

Answer 2

Yes. Are a lot of techniques. But any of them will only distract your mind from the real problem. When the distraction disappears, the obsessing and pain will come back.

You must be very strong and go directly to the root: imagine, what is the worst case? what can happened? You know that, but you have not the courage to accept the facts. Can you accept that you have no control? You are suffering because she have a chronic illness or because you have not control of your mind?

The only control of your mind is the acceptance of the state of the mind. When you realize the obsessing toughs are present in mind, take a break and feel the consistence of the obsession: what are the sensations from your body? Where you feel? What is happening with your respiration?

Do you really want to escape of this obsession or you are only play self importance game?

Observe the respiration and in the mean time face your fear: what is the worst situation? Be ready to dye when the fear come out, coz the fear have deep roots. If you will be brave enough, something will happened ;)

Send the LOVE within you to her. You will feel much better, this is the best you can do!