I had sex with my boyfriend, and now i hate myself becasue now my wedding night will not be as wonderful and amazing as it should be. I wish there was a way to feel less guilty and forget what i did. and i want my wedding night to be special too. i need help!! or advice!
2007-05-20 13:09:52 · 31 answers · asked by Marie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i want to have given all of myself to the love of my life and not someone who i think i will marry! i wish i could help myself feel better about what i did.
2007-05-20 13:43:55 · update #1
Why won't it be "wonderful and amazing as it should be"? Not being a virgin has NOTHING to do with your wedding night (or any other sexual experience) being or not being wonderful and amazing. That's a nice little myth to encourage people to remain chaste until marriage and while I believe that to be a personal choice, having lost one's virginity before marriage doesn't affect how much you enjoy sex later (unless you allow your own emotions to do that).
You cannot undo the act so move on. MANY people nowadays (the vast majority) aren't virgins when they marry so, although you may not find that a comfort, I hope it helps you beat yourself up less for doing what it is natural for humans to desire to do.
Be selective (about whom you have sex with), and be safe...but it's fun for a reason so when you feel it's right for you...have fun! ☺
2007-05-20 13:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
:( I'm really sorry to hear that!
trust me when I tell you that over time that feeling of disapointment and everything will fade away a lot, although never fully restored.
Also know that when you meet the man that you want to marry, and stand in front of everyone and say this man is going to be my husband, it will still be special. Another way that you can make is special is to do something with him that night that neither of you have done with anyone else, even if it's just a romantic bubble bath with some bubbly. It will be special trust me, because on the wedding night it's not just sex, it's the joining of two people, the making official the marriage contract, and starting your lives as one.
Now...If you plan to stop having sex now, know that it is forever going to be harder to keep that line and not have sex. Knowing that, it's a good idea to keep some protection around. It's better to not use it, but it's also better if things get to the point that you can't control them to have them and not get pregnant then have that to worry about, because pregnancy, or having a baby to raise when you are not really ready makes not just the wedding night hard, but the whole rest of your life hard!
take care
2007-05-20 13:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by chickennosenshi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey its okay. everyone makes decisions they regret at some point. You don't have to continue having sex and your wedding night will still be very special. What really makes your wedding night special is that you love each other so much that you want to take that next step. Just try to follow this rule in the future. Don't take actions based on lust. If you do you might regret it again. If you are really in love with someone and you two have been together for some time with no pressure towards sex, then you know for sure that its the right time. This way you know that he knows how special you are and how important that gift you give him is. I wish you all the support in the world on your future decisions.
2007-05-20 13:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by sweetypie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slow down for a second, relax, and breathe....
This happens to many people, including myself. It's easy to get caught up in the moment.
You're wedding night will be amazing no matter what, whether you have had a ton of sex before or none at all... it's the first night of being married to your new husband. No one or any type of past can take that away.
Tell your bf that you made a mistake, and you're sorry but you do not want to have sex again until you're married (not necessarily him!).
2007-05-20 14:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but sex sucks the first time, I mean on my wedding I want to have some tantric wild sex. I dont want to be having sex with a virgin who is like OWWWW........ THAT hurts. I think waiting is overrated Im sorry you might feel bad but its its really probably a better thing. You wouldnt buy a shoe without trying it on. Just my opinion it will be ok if it really means that much to you dont do it again. And they even have reconstructive surgery to put your hynmen back together if you wanted to go that far. Dont worry about it, though I promise it was a good thing for you. Finding someone thats good at the deed is an important part of who you marry that would be a big part on why i would marry some one.
http://www.myspace.com/joeblasutig...
(feel free to say hey im kinda becoming the yahoo answers love doctor)
Joey
2007-05-20 13:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by Joey B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life and your wedding night are not ruined. You made a mistake. We all do. Your wedding night is not about sex. It's about the beginning of a life with the person you love. The wedding night will be amazing if you have those feelings for that person. You are not a bad person for having sex.
2007-05-20 13:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiddo, virginity is highly over-rated and is mainly prized as proof of paternity (if you are a virgin, any offspring must, perforce, be fathered by your husband).
But other than proof-positive that you don't have a bun in the oven, virginity is a nuisance. Sex is an art form and must be studied and learned if it is to be done well.
So don't fret. So long as you have taken precautions to prevent transmittal of disease or unwanted pregnancy, you have probably made the first step towards ensuring that your wedding night will be a more (not less) enjoyable experience.
2007-05-20 13:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by Grendle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will still be special, it just won't be your first time. Try not to think about it. If you're going to marry your current bf, then tell him that you don't want to ruin your wedding night by having sex before it. If you aren't, then try not to have sex with anyone between now and your wedding night, I know it sounds hard, but I think it's called re-virginization. You have to commit to yourself that you won't have sex with anyone else, and save it for your wedding night.
2007-05-20 13:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by I_am_Meg_Griffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard to go through, but first off, I believe you should never regret, because at the time, it was exactly what you wanted. Secondly, just keep this feeling in mind as you move forward in your next relationships, and remember to be true to yourself. What happenned, happenned, and there's no way to change that, but if you keep your eyes on what you want long term, it will keep you from making decisions you're unhappy about. Your wedding night will still be special, since you are giving your self to the one you love. Don't sweat too hard about it, we all have made choices we've had to survive.
2007-05-20 13:15:18 · answer #9 · answered by shuggiegurl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your wedding night can still be special because it has NOTHING to do with you being a virgin.
Some couples have to have sex before they marry to see if they are compatible. It's good that you did. You don't want to marry then find out you can't have sex with this man, right?
Your wedding night can still be special because you will be with the man you love.
Stop worrying.
2007-05-20 13:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Tara662 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋