what happens when parents of a daughter who is living with her boyfriend after having only met for a few months, and are planning a Catholic wedding in 6 months and the parents refuse to give their blessing or go to the service? Doesnt the young woman have to get her fathers consent?
2007-05-20 11:34:40 · 7 answers · asked by eyesonfraud 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Good for the parents! They are sticking to their principles and ethics, and its a shame their daughter didn't do the same instead of shacking up. No mature woman would do that to her parents, she sounds terribly selfish and immature - and extremely hypocritical to want a Catholic ceremony to boot.
2007-05-21 01:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know anything about the rules/laws of the catholic religion, but I know that the parents may not be giving their blessing for some important reason....perhaps they believe the couple don't know each other well enough? Perhaps they believe living together before marriage is a sin? Investigation and listening to one's parents (who have been around a bit longer and are wiser and have more life experience) is a good thing to do. To postpone the wedding and evaluate the issues is not the end of th world. However, rushing into marriage with someone who is not a good match will be something you pay for for a long time, especially if you have children together...
2007-05-20 18:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although it would be nice to get the parents' blessing it's not required if the two are adults.
I think the more important concern is why they are objecting....do they see a problem that the couple may not. As part of preparing for a Catholic wedding couple must complete pre cana wedding classes/counseling with the priest. I would highly recommend seeking his advice as oftend they become very familar with the couple during this time. As well as having a discussion with the parent as to why they object. If it's the short time the couple has known each other maybe the wedding can be posponed and the engagment lengthen.
2007-05-20 19:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by kimski 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you've said, this sounds like one of those situations in which no one is entirely right or wrong.
The bride & groom: it's wrong for them to be living with each other out of wedlock. They seem to be in an aweful hurry. Not that I can see into their hearts are anything, but true, honest, contrite discenment of love takes more than three to nine months. There is no reason for them to be in such a hurry, well their wouldn't be for sure if they weren't already living together, if you catch my drift? They need to take their time, whether they want to or not. To rush into something as sanctified as the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony is reckless.
I respect the fact this woman and her fiance are adults and, as such, responsible for themselves as well as their actions. However, bearing this responsibility does not mean they are free do to whatever they want, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Remember the Commandment "Honor the thy mother and thy father." Our parents know what's best for us. We are obligated to listen to and heed their council. To ignore their council, especially in a situation like this, nothing good can come from it.
The parents: Whether the marriage comes forth in six months or not, the parents are crazy for not attending. This sends a terrible message to the daughter, the husband, and the rest of the family. It will open emotional wounds that will fester for the rest of the lives of all those involved. The worst thing in the world, for parents especially, is to do anything that could result in the holding of grudges. The longer the grudge lasts, the deeper the emotional wound, the less likely the wound will heal as time passes.
I do support the parents in not giving this wedding their blessing. It is simply too soon. Three months is not long enough for two people, even though they live together, to get to know each other well enough to know they want to marry.
Couples have indeed gotten married that quickly. And it's not unheard of to see such couples live long and happy lives in Marital Union with each other. No doubt they've already come forth with this argument.
The wise thing to do is to give time the benefit of the doubt; 18 months, two years.
It sounds like everyone involved needs to come to their senses to some extent.
2007-05-21 10:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Daver 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you don't have to as long as she is of age. However, you might not make it through the pre-cana classes in time and might be hard pressed to find a priest to do the ceremony if you are living together before you get married. Heck there are a whole lot of issues that will come up in pre-cana so you might not be getting married in six months anyway.
2007-05-20 19:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Then have another relative do it. While shacking up is a bad idea, at least they are actually going to make a legal, bonafide union in six mos. Most shack up jobs, like 95% of them, never get married and most don't last any more than a year. What you will need to do is pray the marriage lasts, because most that shacked up before marriage get divorced in the first 5 years.
2007-05-20 18:53:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No but if they tell the church you are living together they won't marry you as you will find out at precana.
2007-05-21 00:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋